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Confused and scared
avatar
Amandarose posted:
I found out a year ago that I had herpes. When I found out i told my boyfriend at the time, when I told him I found out he knew that he had herpes that hole time. I hated him for it. But I felt like I couldn't leave him. It was a relationship I should of stayed in at all. While I was dating him I went on a trip with my friend and her boyfriend to get away. On this trip my friends brother ended up coming along. On this trip me and my friends brother started talking. His the one who gave me strength to leave him. He has been there for me for everything. Other than my herpes situation. He doesn't know about it yet. And one night we had sex. And I freaked and I didn't know how to tell him about it. I didn't want his sister finding out and hating me. And I didn't want him hating me. We have been seeing each other for 6 months now. Ad I sit ill haven't told him.. I know when I'm about to get an outbreak. I feel awful. I'm no better than my ex that gave it to me. I don't know what to do... It doesn't help that I live with my best friend and her brother comes and sees me every weekend. I care for the kid so much. I don't know what I would do if i lost either one of them...
Reply
 
avatar
AmberBee responded:
Hi,

I'm so sorry someone put your health at risk by not informing you prior to sex that they had HSV.

I think you should consider how you felt when your ex did not tell you he had HSV...you said you hated him for lying to you and risking your health....

I would suggest finding out ALL the information you can on HSV (The Herpes Handbook helped me) and realizing that it's not this scary STD that has to be kept secret....honestly, once you're informed on what HSV is you realize it's awfully similar to the chickenpox (caused by the same virus family as chickenpox actually!) except this affects your genitals and it doesn't just happen once like chickenpox does.

I think you should inform your partner, and future partners that you have HSV AND provide information for them when you tell them(such as the risk of getting it from a partner and how common it is, and exactly what it is)....you need to give people an opportunity to decide what's best for them and if a sexual relationship with you is a risk they're willing to take.

The Herpes Handbook also offers an awesome section on how to talk to a partner about HSV. So make sure to look the handbook up, talk to your partner, and if things go south and this person doesn't want a relationship with you afterwards at least you'll know you did the right thing by telling them,unlike your ex

wishing you luck,

Amber
 
avatar
abe648 replied to AmberBee's response:
AmberBee Great Reply and Post keep up the good work.
Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/


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