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Depression and Herpes
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An_250432 posted:
I have just been diagnosed with Herpes. I have only been with four partners in my life and recently went through a divorce after 18 years of marriage. I am dating a man who lost his wife to cancer and he gave me Herpes. He didn't know that he had it. I am so mad and full of anger. I am filled with shame and feel dirty. I am 44 years old and don't know how I am going to date with this virus.. I am so embarrassed. Any tips or advice...
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abe648 responded:
Ok so are you seeing the guy who gave you herpes? If he truly had no idea he had herpes then please do not get mad at him.

I know that feeling as I discovered after being married 10 years I suddently had some type of issue and the Doc said it was herpes. I had no idea that I had it for 10 years and so it was as much a supprise to me as well.;;.

You will need to deal with this and I want to tell you that you can stil have a healthy sex life even with herpes. If you are in a larger centre or near one then I would urge you to google "Herpes Support Groups: on Yahoo and see if there is one near you. If so then go to the next meeting and they can help you work through it.

You need to take in a DEEP BREATH hold it as long as you can and then EXHALE and then RELAX!!! Rigrht now you feel that your world has come to an end but life wil go on and you can live laugh love and be intimate again with the right person who loves you for who you are and not what you have.At your age most guys have dealt with a lot of things so this is one of those things that if they are worth being with they will be able to decide if they want to be intimate with you or not. If they decide that they do not want to be with you then that is there loss as they were not worth having a great gal like you I am sure. The ones who will take the time to listen to you and decide that you are worth the risk are the kind of guys that you are looking for anyway.

Besides there are many discordant couples which is where one person has GH and the other does not and some couples have been that way for many years.

Do you know which type of GH you have? Is it HsV 1 or 2 genitally? How were you tested to confirm your status? If it was a type specific igg blood test then post your numeric test results on here so someone can confirm your status.

Here is the risk of a guy getting GH from you if he does not have it.


Female to Male Transmission for HSV 2
The odds of you getting GHSV 2 is as follows. If the two of you avoid sex when she has an ob then the chances of you getting it is 4%. If she takes suppressive therapy then it drops to 2% and if you use condoms then it go's to 1%. The details are from the Valtrex clinical trials study. At your age most likely you may not want to use condoms and so it increases your partmers risk a bit higher to 2% which is still very low risk.

So if the depression is really getting to you and you cannot handle it then I urge you to get counseling for your concerns. But before you do that I would recommend that you search above and put in "Telling a Partner" and read some of the responses.

If you cannot find a support group then do come back and talk to us on here and we will help you through this.

Read the links in my signature line and I think that Terru Warren's book would be of great help to you. But before you do that Tiger and my story. We will help you through this.

God Bless you.
Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/


Helpful Tips

how do you feel towards the ONE WHO GAVE YOU HERPES
Did you know that 90% of people living with Herpes, DON'T KNOW THEY HAVE IT . Thats a big number. So you just found out you have Herpes, ... More
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