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An_250604 posted:
I am currently going through the nightmare of learning I have herpes. I got the disease from my ex boyfriend. I found out a few months ago and told him. He told me he got tested and was positive but it turns out he never did. It turns out he has been running from the fear of it and won't get tested. There are so many women at risk right now because of this.
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aloneone28 responded:
your post hits very close to my heart. I just found out this week and I am in Hell. I had only been with my ex boyfriend so I am sure I got it from him but we have not talked in 8 months and I am terrified to tell him because I am afraid of what he will say to me. do you have any tips on coping? I feel like I should tell him soon because he has a girlfriend and he could be infecting her as well.
 
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An_250604 replied to aloneone28's response:
I think that you need to tell him as soon as possible. My best advice for you is to be prepared for him to deny it and blame you potentially for it. That was my biggest shock in all of this. I expected my ex who I knew without a doubt to accept that he did this. Instead he said he got tested and had it but I just learned he never did and never told the next person he was with. I ended up telling her because she had no idea what she was at risk for. He blames her to me for giving it to me and blames me to her. It's an awful situation. That's why the best advice is to prepare for the worst. You know where you got it, but he may not accept it. I've read so many stories online of other guys doing the same thing and that helped me to feel less alone in this struggle.

Coping with this has been hard for me, especially because the person responsible wont accept their part. The best thing to do is to tell him the truth so he knows. What he does with that information is up to him. You did your part by telling him he had the disease. He has to make the decision to do the right thing and protect others and get checked out for it.

It's extremely hard honestly to cope at times but I'm finding that finding people who I can relate to online is starting to help me see I am not so alone in this struggle. I also made an anonymous blog on Tumblr where I can join the herpes community and read others journeys and share my struggles.

I wish you the best in telling him and hope he does the right thing. In the end remember you know the truth and did your part no matter how he reacts to it.
 
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abe648 responded:
Click on the Tiger and read more on herpes and the actual rate of Transmission to be more educated.
Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/


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