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Nervous about past exposure
coolgirl901 posted:

I'm a 26 yr old female. I've only had one sexual partner. I lost my virginity to this guy. He got tested for HIV and was negative before we had sex but, after we had sex he informed me that he had genital herpes and didn't know until he had his first outbreak after we had sex. This terrified me! I went and got tested and was given a clean bill of health. This was almost 5 yrs ago and I've haven't had sex since. I'm currently dating a new guy and I want to sleep with him but, I'm scared. I suggested that we go get tested. He said that he's fine with that if we get serious but, he wants to use condoms until then. But, I'm still very nervous about being intimate with him before we get tested even though I know we'll use condoms. I also have clinically been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And I know that this contributes to my anxiety about sex. Please help someone and give me some good concrete advice. I really want to have a normal and healthy sex life and I don't want to lose a good guy because of my fears. Thanks
abe648 responded:
Stick to your guns and tell him no sex tell you both get tested for all STI'S and make sure that they test you with a type specific IgG blood test for HSV 1 & 2. If he cares for you then it is worth your while to both get STI'S testing done including testing for HSV 1 & 2. Testing is good for both of you as it is important to know what you may have and also what he may have so you know where both of you stand. Ask for a copy of your and your guys herepes numeric test results and psot them on here so someone can confirm your status.

From your post you will not really be comfortable having sex until you get tested for STI'S. Tell him that is how you feel and that it is importantt to you to get tested.

God Gless you.
Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at

Helpful Tips

how do you feel towards the ONE WHO GAVE YOU HERPES
Did you know that 90% of people living with Herpes, DON'T KNOW THEY HAVE IT . Thats a big number. So you just found out you have Herpes, ... More
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