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Just diagnosed with herpes.....
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Angelamc1646 posted:
I was diagnosed today with herpes. I am so afraid and confused about everything right now. I met this guy last week and we spent the entire weekend together. Thankfully, we made the mature decision to wait to have sex. Im sure within the next few weeks, he will be ready to have sex. This guy is very special to me and treats me like Ive never been treated before. I do not want my new diagnosis to ruin this good thing. When is the right time to tell him? And how do I tell him? I'm just so depressed about this entire thing. Im only 19; he's 22. ;( I do believe I am mature for my age because I am completely independent from my parents. But right now, I just don't have a clue what I am supposed to do about any of this. ANY advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
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abe648 responded:
Ok so how were you diagnosed as having herpes? Was it a swab/culture? If so was it typed so you know if it is HSV 1 or 2 genitally? If if was a blood test do you have a copy of the test results and if so can you please post the numeric test results them on here so someone can confirm your status to confirm that you were properly diagnosed. If you do not have a copy of the numeric test results then call your Doc's office and ask for a copy so someone can confirm this foryou.

If you do in fact have herpes this is not the end of your life. I agree that you are quite mature for your age in that you have decided that you will not let herpes define who you are and want to move on with your life.

If you have been properly diagnosed then you not only need to know what you have but also what your partner has. So before you decide to become sexually active with this guy he needs to be tested as well for all STI'S as well. When you tell him then I would recommend that both of you go and get tested for all STI'S together and that way you can also get tested for everything as well except for the herpes as you will know that you have this. Make a day of it and go and get tested and then go for lunch or dinner together and wait for the results..

When it comes to telling him is important as to how you tell him. If you make a big deal about having GHSV then he will think it is a big deal. If you tell him and make it feel that many people have GHSV then he will be more accepting of it as well. That being said there are always guys who when they hear that you have GHSV will run for the hills and be gone. That is not a slight against you that is the immaturity of the guy. Approx 1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 guys have GHSV. Many have no idea that they have GHSV as they have no symptoms so they do not know they have it.

How to tell someone wel go to the top of this exchange and search for "Telling partner or Telling a Partner" either way you will find all kinds of ways to tell a partner. I think that there is also a good resource in the resource and tips area on the left side of this site to read all about those who have told a partner as well.

So please tell us how were diagnosed and if it was with a blood test then get the results and post them on here so someone can confirm your status for you. If you have any other questions please ask as there is nothing to persoanl to ask as if you do not ask you will not know.

Read the items in my signature below. God Bless you as you decide how to tell him.
Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/
 
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Angelamc1646 replied to abe648's response:
I was tested for everything in April. I came back positive for chlamydia. I started having sores in May and I went back to the doctor. My swab test was positive for herpes, but my blood test was negative. She said it was not identified which type I have. I am going back to the doc tomorrow to discuss this and get a checkup. She said since the antibodies are not in my blood yet that means I haven't had this long.

I've also decided once I think I have accepted this disease as it is not the end of the world, then I think it will be easier to tell him. But I just am very worried he will leave. I am trying to remain strong though. My closest friends are trying to remind me that if he's worth my time he will accept this and let our relationship move forward. It's just hard.
 
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abe648 replied to Angelamc1646's response:
It sounds like your Doc did not ask for the culture to be typed otherwise your Doc would know if it was HSV 1 or 2 genitally.

When you go get tested make sure it is a Type spcifec IgG blood test forr HSV 1 & 2. If your Doc orders an IgM blood test you can tell your Doc that this is a waste of your time and your health insurance's money as it is a test which will not help to conffirm your status.

If you last had sexual contact with someone in lets say April or March then you are down the road enough now to at leastt show that the antibodies in you to figure out if it is HSV 1 or 2. Make sure to get a copy of the numeric IgG blood test and post the values on her in this post so someone can confirm your status.

You have the right attitude when it comes to accepting Herpes if you are positive. Life will go on and even if this guy does not work out for you there is someone who will love you for who you are and not what you have.

Click on the Tiger to see the rate of transmission Female to Male. It is quite low.

Do read the Herpes Handbook and watch the video and if you would like more info you can now download (for a price)Terri Warren's book "The Good News abbout the Bad News. Terri is a ANP that specializes in Herpes.

If you have any other questions then we are here to help you.
Abe
Abe ... Read more in the Herpes Handbook. Watch the Herpes Video and Terri Warren's book The Good News about the Bad News. All located under the heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/


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