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    looking for support
    An_252934 posted:
    Hi I have had herpes for 4 yrs now I found out when I was 20 . I got the disease not knowing my partner ( i had a one night stand but had known the guy for years in highschool )Had an std and then when I became infexted I never heard from the guy again . To this day I still have built up hate for this person and I find it hard to cope and have relationships ans finding the stength to tell someone of my disease . I feel like I wont find a realtionship . I need support . I cant keep holding this in .I need to learn to love myself again and forgive the person who changed my life but I dont know how or where to begin .
    abe648 responded:

    How were you diagnosed as having herpes? Is it HSV 1 or 2 genitally?

    First of all you need to get educated on G Herpes. See the link in my signature line below.

    This is just a pesky skin condition/virus. Approx 1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 men have HSV genitally. You are younger so it can run as high as 1 in 3 people have genital herpes. You have to start to think of yourself as a person who is worthy of love and affection and move on from the hatred of the person who gave it to you. In fact you need to forgive the person who gave it to you.

    Life will go on and you can live love laugh and be intimate again. You need to find a partner who will love you for who you are and not what you have. There are many discordant couples which is where one person has it and the other does not have herpes. Click on the Tiger and see the rate of transmission for both sexes. It sounds like you are female and if that is correct then the rate is very low if you take a suppressive therapy daily. To learn how to tell a partner then search in the window in WebMD above "Telling partner" and you will find a lot of posts with all kinds of ways to tell someone you have herpes.

    What might help you is to google on Yahoo "Herpes Support Groups" and see if there is one in your area. If there is one then go and attend the next meeting and the people there will help you move on as well. If you cannot find one then come back here and talk to us further so we can help you move on with you life.

    There is someone who will love you unconditionally. God Bless you.
    Abe ...I am not a medical professional. Read the Herpes Handbook, Watch the Video and Terri Warren's book is availible umder the Heading Herpes at
    timbofisch responded:
    I got herpes 28 years ago from the woman I lived with. She denied having it, but there is no other way I could have got it. Makes sense now why she used a diaphragm. I got the herpes after we had sex during her period.

    Anyhow, I have had to tell 3 people in the ensuing years, each before we began having sex. One of them married me anyway, then divorced me [unrelated to herpes>. She was not infected, but the other gal was, when a condom fell off inside her.

    For me, herpes is just an annoyance. The outbreaks less frequent over the years. Just be honest with and try to protect your partner. Get your partner into the doc for herpes vaccination. The guy who gave it to you — forget him or sue him. I don't see that forgiving him is worthwhile. But don't ever see him again, or your problems are beyond herpes. And don't be ashamed, it was the weasel's fault who, without disclosure, gave them to you.

    The hard part is telling partners and potential partners. Now that there is a vaccine, help your partner get one. If you have any specific questions, let me know. I think it is probably a much different experience for a woman than a man.

    timbofisch replied to abe648's response:
    Nice response. YOu're a good egg, NOonan.
    stresssed responded:
    You should not hold it in. Look for support from family, friends, or professionals. The hate that you feel seems to be hurting no one but yourself, try to let it go and "learn to love yourself again".
    Yes you do have a responsibility to inform your partners but there are guys that will look past it and see the real you.
    As I am not a professional, I suggest that you contact one that may better inform you of how to deal with your concerns.
    Good luck and I hope your life is a happy one!
    Foxgirlforlife responded:
    Me and you both. I understand. My ex gave me herpes a year and a half ago. I hope he gets what is coming to him. He had sex with 60 girls and I found this out after I got herpes and he dared blame it on me. I think I'm so mad consider the fact he was the 3rd I have slept with. And it is me with the outbreaks and suppression therapy. I am looking for a support group as well. I hope we can both heal and learn to forgive. I know it's not easy. But their karma is coming . God bless
    abe648 replied to timbofisch's response:
    timbofisch there is no vaccine for Genital Herpes.The only thing on can do is control the shedding and avoid sex during an ob and take suppressive therapy.
    Abe ...I am not a medical professional. Read the Herpes Handbook, Watch the Video and Terri Warren's book is availible umder the Heading Herpes at

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