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My Partner has caught Herpes from Me
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meags1972 posted:
My partner and I have been together for 4 1/2 years and just before we met I found out I had herpes I told him pretty much straight away before any sexual contact whatsoever and he decided that he was going to have a relationship with me anyway. I did my best to make sure he knew that was his choice not to use condoms.

I haven't had any outbreaks since I was diagnosed and about a month ago he started complaining about itchiness and a blister on his penis but would not go to the doctor! In the end I ended up getting some antiviral medication and giving it to him and it cleared up. He was pretty annoyed about it all but eventually conceded that he knew the risk he was taking with having unprotected sex with me and that he could n't really take it out on me however, if we have sex now - about a week later he gets the symptoms again but still will not go to the doctor! This has happened about 4 times now and it has got to the point where he doesn't want to have sex because he's worried the symptoms will come back. He is not at all keen on using condoms either.

Needless to say this is having a pretty traumatic affect on our relationship and I am feeling like absolute crap - we love each other very much but trying to talk about it rationally with him is bordering on impossible. How on earth can I convince the man to get to the dr and get it all checked out AND to use condoms???? I realise sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship but when you've had a fantastic sex life for so long and then it all ends..... its pretty devastating.

I'm sure there are quite a few people out there who have experienced a similar situation and I'd appreciate your comments
Reply
 
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abe648 responded:
He Knew that you had HSV 2 and still decided to have unprotected sex with you.

Were you taking any suppressive therapy for the last 4.5 years? Did you avoid sex when you had any idea you were having a feeling that you may be getting an ob?

He needs to go to a Doc and get a type specific IgG blood test for HSV 1 &2 to confirm if he has HSV 2. Ask him to get a copy of the test results and then you can post them on here so we can help you confirm his status.

You need him to go and see a Doc to confirm that it is HSV 2. until he does that you do not know for sure he has HSV 2?

If you took suppressive therapy and avoided sex when you had any feeling you may have a possible ob coming on then you did what you as a responsiple person should do.

You need to talk to him about this and the bedroom is not the place for this kind of talk. Perhaps even the anywhere you live may not be the place. I would recommend that you two go and grab a coffee and drive somewhere you can talk in private and talk about this. You need to know how he feels and both of you need to talk and get this out in the open so the two of you can move forward with you life.

if he confirms that it is HSV 2 then he may want to take Valacyclovir. That way he will not get a lot of ob 's and your love life can get back on track.

If he will not go out so the two of you can talk then tell him that you will be going to get some counseling and if he wants to join you he can so that the two of you can work it out..

Be firm with him if you had been taking suppressive therapy and avoided sex with him when you thought you may have an outbreak coming on. You told him what you had and he needs to be a man and get on with life or move on so you can find someone who will satisfy you. You need to be loved even though he may have gotten HSV 2 from

God Bless the two of you. w
Abe ...I am not a medical professional. Read the Herpes Handbook, Watch the Video and Terri Warren's book is availible umder the Heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/
 
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meags1972 replied to abe648's response:
Hi Abe

Thanks for your reply It certainly isn't easy trying to convince the man to talk about this with his doctor, however I will ask him again to get checked out at his next appointment this week.

I did have a wee meltdown last week as I was starting to feel that he had just gone off me altogether in the intimacy side of things because he made a stupid comment that he wasn't really too impressed with getting a "scabby penis" each time he has sex with me! Well who on earth is impressed with having herpes?? I told him that if we can't have a proper loving relationship then we may as well end it all as I'm just not prepared to go through this nonsense for any longer.

He must have felt bad for the comment as the following night he was back to his usual loving self!

Anyway, I will keep gently prodding him to get properly checked out so that we are sure of what we are dealing with.

Thank you again for your advice
 
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abe648 replied to meags1972's response:
Hi Meags
That is how I used to deal with herpes. I would make love and then I would get an Ob and I would wait about a week and then go through the same old cycle again. This went on for 17 years as I had a Doc that did not know how to treat HSV 2. I finally found this wwebsite and got on Valtrex and now on Valacyclovir which is the geneiric of Valtrex. Since 2008 I have had only two ob's and that was at the end of 2008.

Tell him that you have been reading some posts and found people who do have very few ob's that waell will think it might be a good idea. You do not have to tell him that you posted some where as that might get him all worked up.

God Bless the two of you. Let me know how things go once he has been to the Doc.
Abe
Abe ...I am not a medical professional. Read the Herpes Handbook, Watch the Video and Terri Warren's book is availible umder the Heading Herpes at http://www.westoverheights.com/


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