I am too young to feel this old...
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guitargeek posted:
I am a 20 year old male. I was diagnosed with HPV genital warts 8 months ago. I am needless to say a little worried about my future. I have tried numerous treatments and now the ACV treatment currently. I will be extremely happy if it works, but my optimism has faded after numerous failed treatments over the last 8 months. What i want most if to regain my strength emotionally. I was already i very introverted male prior to my diagnosis and now its just 10 times worse. I assume i'll never have the chance to love or be loved. Its depressing... sorry for being a downer.

But, i have alot i should be happy about. I am a very intelligent college student, president of my fraternity, and exercise daily (i.e. i am pretty dang handsome) haha. I get asked out all the time and refuse to engage in even the beginning steps of a relationship. I am terrified it will develop (as it should) and i will have to spill the beans. I feel like my reputation would be ruined. I use excuses like "i am working too much right now for a relationship" or "i am already seeing someone". (Both lies, but i don't want to hurt them by letting them fall in love with me and then losing them because i kept a secret). Honestly, i don't think i could tell a stranger on the first date "Hi my name is ... and i have HPV, you wanna go see a movie".

Oh and by the way. I have only been with 2 girls. One i dated for 2 years and the other for 3 weeks. So, again, i have not even been given a chance to see my future children. I feel like i am letting myself and my parents down by not being able to develop a relationship when i have no reason not to except my own fear. My mom is the only one who knows i have HPV. She is the only one i trust knowing that.

Is there anyone out there listening who is young and going through what i am. Girl or guy i don't care, its all the same. I feel like i am the youngest person on this site. I feel there needs to be more support for those with HPV in the younger population....we have to live with it the longest don't we. So, i'd like this post to remain within the young people if at all possible.

Thanks for reading my story... now i want to hear yours.
Reply
 
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anab2004 responded:
Hi guitargueek, as a 22 year old female I can definitely see where you're coming from. I've also only been with two people-the second person I've been with for over three and a half years now. I was devastated when I found out I had the virus last November-also about 8 months ago. To make matters worse, the nurse practitioner performing my pap smear made me feel incredibly awful saying things like...don't have too many partners...I only had two...well then you should have made sure they had a low number of partners as well... Anyway, she prescribed me Aldara which I applied for about two months-no results. I read up on reviews and everyone seemed to have an awful burning sensation-I felt absolutely nothing. I'm weary about trying it, or anything again because it will mean another trip to the doctor. Although I'm not going to the same practice, I'm scared of judgment and starting with another doctor. My relationship has continued to be very loving, although the mojo is definitely not there. I haven't had an orgasm in moths. Although nothing is as bad as some of the pictures (just tiny bumps), I get so depressed. I look forward to this support group.
 
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guitargeek responded:
Thanks Anab2004. Your story was very similar to mine and i am glad to know i am not alone. I am happy that your relationship is prevailing through it all. Your boy friend sounds like an understanding and caring individual. I must ask though... did you transmit it to him after you were diagnosed? I am worried i'll develop a relationship and spread it because i am too fearful to disclose that part of my life. Also, with your fear of returning to your doctor. i totally understand! I had my warts burned/lasered (*lack of better terminology) and my doctor was very dehumanizing and unconcerned about my emotional distress. In the end, the warts came back... almost identically as before but a little larger. I tried aldara and like you, it didn't show ANY improvements. I am worried about my 1 year marker with this virus. I never expected to have to accept anything like this as a part of me for the rest of my life. Its not something you prepare for at all and society is very much impartial to our battle. Also, my "mojo" is "nojo" right now so don't feel alone with that. Its hard to feel sexy with HPV. It can be learned though! Keep on fightin!
 
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Countrygrl18 responded:
Hi guitargeek, I had only been 18 for a few months when I found out I have HPV. Much like you I constantly feel like im too young to feel thing pain. I live in a small town everyone knows everyones business. I was always a healthy person. I was in dance my whole life. I was on the high school dance team and everything. I was always popular and life of the party. After I graduated, I moved in with my boyfriend at the time who ended up being very abusive. I left him and moved back home with my parents not my first choice but i had no where else to go. I had lost all my friends because of my exs craziness. I was tested after him for stds just incase but i was fine. When i came home i went a little wild partied alot and had a few flings not having sex with all but one i did. he made me so happy and made me feel special again, He ended up dumping me i was so hurt that i focused on school and work. a few months later i have starting seeing bumps. I went to the gyno and found out i had hpv. I was so confused and upset i cried the next few days. After talking to my bestfriend of 13 yrs she told me she'd be there for me every step of the way holding to hold my hand during treatments. I am now going on 6 months of treatment with the freeze. I did the acid my last time and screamed the whole time. The treatments now are just unbearable to me. I'm getting aldara cream on wednesday because i need a break from the other harsh treatments. Somedays i just feel like the pain will never go away. No one understands around me. My family and friends are here for me but they dont get how much this hurts. My mom feels like one day shes gonna wake up and her daughter will just be normal again but the facts are that will never happen this is something i will have to live with for the rest of my live.
 
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Countrygrl18 responded:
Hi anab2004

I told a little about my story already but i wanted to add in my directed towards you. I'm now starting aldara cream hopeing for a change my bumps like yours arent there. did you have sex while on aldara??? Also, suprisely after being finding out about my HPV 6 months ago i met my boyfriend only three months ago. I told him about my hpv about only a week of meeting. I didnt want there to be any surpises. He loves me no matter what and wants to be with me forever. He's a pro bxmer his life is all health all the time. My doctors told me no matter what hes going to get it even after the bumps are gone. I feel so bad that he loves me a girl who has hpv because of me hes going to get it no matter how bad i dont want him too. hes so perfect and understanding about it all even after only a few months of use being together.
 
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BLJ626 responded:
Hi Guitargeek,

I sympathize with your situation and I'm truly sorry that you're down about it. I'm 20 years old and was diagnosed with high-risk HPV 4 months ago. My ex failed to tell me that he was positive for high-risk HPV and consequently I'm living it out.

I also went through a few rough months but I'm feeling much better now. Over 50 people know about my condition and while it's not that I advertise it, it was the nature of my situation. I've been stepping lightly into the dating world again and while I had to swallow my pride more than a few times, the guys that I've dated have been able to view me for who I am and to realize that an STD doesn't define any part of me whatsoever. The most important thing is to realize this yourself.

Yes, I have HPV, but I'm an aspiring litigator, I attend an Ivy League University, and I have the best friends and family that anyone could ask for. If you want to talk, feel free to email me at Gmail (BLJ626@gmail.com). Good luck.
 
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donut_lover responded:
Thanks for sharing your story. I'm new to this, so it helps to know that other people are dealing with the same thing.

I'm 23, haven't had a ton of sexual partners because I've been in several long-term monogamous (or so I thought) relationships, and I actually haven't had sex since August 2007. I noticed a small bump on my labia in May and happened to mention it to my doc when I went in for my annual last week. She informed me that it was a genital wart caused by HPV. The treatment options that she suggested were to apply a topical cream for 12 weeks or have it surgically removed, although the warts could come back any time. She also recommended keeping my stress level down--although it's a little difficult after being nonchalantly informed that you have an STD!

Ironically enough, my degree is in public health (disease prevention & education) and I've actually written a brochure about HPV. The only risk factor I have is age and because I haven't been sexually active in a while, I didn't consider HPV as a risk to me. To add salt to the wound, I'm already a healthy person. I take vitamins, I like to eat healthy foods, and I bike to work/enjoy running. Although my job is relatively stressful, I'm managing it well and have a good balance between work/friends/volunteering in my community.

I've scheduled an appointment for a skin biopsy in two weeks (the earliest appointment that I could make) and upped my morning regime of vitamins to include zinc, an extra supplement with vitamin A, C & E, and apple cider vinegar supplements (after reading about it on this site). I'm not sure what else I can do to boost my immune system or become healthier overall...as I said before, I'm already a healthy person and I still developed genital warts.

Over the past couple of days, I've spent a lot of time thinking about everything. I'm very worried that I am not going to clear the virus on my own. Even though 80% of people clear the virus within 2 years, I'm already in the minority because I developed genital warts. There isn't a cure for HPV and there isn't a way to tell if you no longer have the virus. Even though so many people my age have HPV, it's not discussed at all and I feel like I'm dealing with this on my own. Dating was already hard for me because I am an introverted person, and that was before I was diagnosed with an STD. There is such a stigma attached to STDs and I'm not sure how to move past that myself, let alone find someone who will be able to love me and my genital warts.

It's not fair that something so small can have such a large (negative) impact on your life/quality of life. I am certainly hoping for the best after the biopsy, although it is typical to have additional genital warts develop after the first treatment. Any advice for coping with genital warts would be greatly appreciated...
 
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exdork responded:
Hey man,

I completely understand what you're going through. I'm a 22 year old guy. Like you, I had a lot of good stuff going for me, but now I feel almost worthless. I'm working through that though. I don't really have time to write my whole story at the moment, but feel free to IM me or email if you want to talk more: portguy20@yahoo.com

Later
 
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SawboneSawdust responded:
Hey, I'm an 18 year old female about to start my freshman year in college. I found out a month ago. Similar story, I had two partners one for a year, the other for 2 months.

I got them from my second partner. The funny thing is, he had visible warts. But I didn't know anything about HPV, and figured they were just something natural like a mole or freckles. Even when I asked about them he said he was self conscious, and that he's had them forever. I even had the chance to get the gardasil shot before I met him, but I got my mandatory meningitis shot and decided not to get two vaccinations at the exact same time-- incase something went wrong.

After I found out i had HPV, I asked him if he had any STDs. and he denied it. and began ignoring me. That's life I feel tricked, and sabotaged.

I'm about to start college, and I almost feel robbed of a normal college experience. I have oral HPV as well...and it's so hurtful to think that I can't even kiss someone I like.

Relationships aren't everything yeah, but we're animals and one instinct is to seek out a mate and have that romantic bond.

I can't imagine telling anyone that I have HPV, unless I know that they have it as well. I'm a privet person, and I almost didn't tell my mother.

I'm also generally a level headed, logical and detached person....So dealing with this I almost feel like it's not really happening to me, and I'm watching it happen to someone else. I feel nothing, then I realize it is me and I'm sitting there stone faced with water streaming from my eyes.

Even talking about it on this forum doesn't really help. I feel like the idea of it 'clearing' from my system is just a over simplified exception that is easily accepted by people with HPV because it's what we want to hear.

This is something I literally have to live with forever and theres nothing I can do about it in the long run. Yeah, treatments to get rid of visible warts. But I've researched and there seems to be no real treatment for warts inside the vagina. Yeah build my immune system and stay fit and wait. Wait for my symptoms to go away and wait and wait with the same exact virus sitting under my skin for the rest of my life. Wait around and feel separate from friends, wait around and never feel close to anyone. Always keeping my distance, and keeping this to myself.

I hate to sound so depressed, I don't think I am, I just feel like that's the ugly truth.
 
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what2do12 responded:
wow, we pretty much are in the same situation. im 21 and was in a relationship for 3 years, and after we broke up 2 months later i dated someone for almost a month and got GW from her..it was a stupid move on my part mainly because the last relationship i bought a ring and was ready to settle down, after we broke up i felt lost and then this girl came up made me feel good about myself but it only lasted a month....i didn't show any signs of symptoms until 2 months after..since guys can't get tested for hpv the only way you know is of visible warts, so its possible that she could have had multiple strains too which sucks to think about because i can't say that i have just GW and that's it....i got the single wart i had frozen a month ago, i don't think it has came back yet, it does feel like there's something rough in the spot i got frozen idk if it's a scar or not, so i plan on getting a check-up just in case...idk how to go about this i know 80% of sexually active people will have at least 1 strain of hpv in there lifetime so is it worth talkin about? is it serious for me as far as my symptoms to be talkin about it? after 2 years of no symptoms will i be 100% free of the virus? i mean its a virus just like chickenpox, we all get chickenpox but we become immune to it and rarely ever have another outbreak....i think it just comes down to how serious an outbreak is to determine how bad you'll have it in the long run....there's so many things to think about and it's hard to believe that it has happened to you, but when there's 1% of males showing signs of GWs at any given time makes you think about how many people out there are really getting infected without knowing...it seems like this virus is a given just like chickenpox, it's life and it sucks it happened to us...i wish my first relationship worked out cuz i could be a happy man with it all and not have this stigma to worry about, but it's not that way anymore....i don't think i'll ever have a girl do oral on me ever again...i don't think i will ever be able to have intercourse with someone without a condom even though it may not be 100% percent it's better than nothing...idk if i'll be able to tell anyone else besides my mom and dad about it...it's nothing i asked for, i wasn't sleeping around like all the 100 other guys i know and it pisses me off to think that they might not have it or do and don't care enough and are the ones spreading it around more....idk man like i said our situation is almost the same and it's definitely life changing....
 
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brwneyz2128 responded:
Hey guitargeek,

I have a similar story to you. I played it safe and always made the guys I slept with wear condoms and I've only been with 4 people. I always get routine testing because you just never know. I've been sexually active for a few years but have never had ANY problems with STDs or abnormal pap smears. I've never seen any GW but my Dr. said she saw 2 internally while I was there for an exam. She didn't really make a huge deal about it, pretty much brushed it off and didn't give me alot of information. When I got home, I looked up more information on the internet and was totally devastated by what I read. The facts are that condoms don't really protect anyone from HPV, and since its a virus, even if you're body "clears" the virus, it will still remain in your body for your entire life. The scariest part is though, some people can have the virus and never show any symptoms. Every guy I slept with never had any visible GW but they very well could have carried the virus, maybe they didn't know it either. I was devastated when I found out all this out. There's no easy way to tell anyone, like you were saying, "Oh I have GW, just thought I'd let you know". It would send anyone running in the opposite direction. It feels like a death sentence. I started looking online for support groups and stuff like that and they're really are NONE. I feel pretty alone about it. None of my friends have HPV, or if they do, they never talk about it. I want to get married and have kids one day, how will I ever be able to meet anyone because of my HPV? There definitely needs to be support groups or something like that so that people with HPV can share stories etc. It sucks to feel alone like this.
 
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PCGeek1 responded:
Hello everyone on this forum,

Like you guys, I am young to. I have been in a serious relationship now for 2 years, and have been faithful every step of the way. Me and my girlfriend decided to move out about 6 months ago and get our own place. Right around the time we moved out, I started noticing these little bumps down there. Being curious I did some research and was devastated when I found out that it is most likely GW. Now, I am pretty tough when it comes to these types of things, so It bothered me for a day or two and then I let it go. The thing is, my GF, was a virgin when I first met her. At the time I had no idea I had HPV and we used condoms for about a year, and then one night we didnt. Since then we may or may not use them. I dont think she has noticed my bumps. If we had unprotected sex while I had no visible signs, most likely she has them. I want to tell her so bad, but I am afraid of how she will react. Like I said, I am her first, and she put that trust in me it feels like. I am at a lost for words, she is my love and I love her to death, but she can be VERY emotional, and I mean very..

Before we started dating I dated a girl for 2 years in high school and was faithful, then after we split up I went and did my thing for a while. During that time, I caught Chlamydia, so I decided I needed to better protect myself and not do so much partying and what not. I might of contracted HPV during that time.

I guess my questions for you guys would be, 1) What type of doctor would I see to get this taken care of? 2) How am I going to tell my GF? I mean, I dont know what will happen. If she hates me for giving her GW I will be devistated.. The warts are still small, and I have been applying castor oil to them when I can but its hard trying to do that when I live with my other..

It sucks at times, knowing this changed my life forever. I should be out enjoying myself, not worrying all the time..

Thank you for taking the time to read this, Ive not told anyone about it yet, and quite frankly I do not know what to do..
 
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belleandsebastianfan responded:
I am the same way. I'm 19 and in college. Now I have to tell my family and friends and risk being called a slut. My boyfriend and I have been on and off and I don't know where to go from here. Can we still sleep together even though we're both infected? Although I have no symptoms I am still scared for my health and for my confidence. All I know is that now I will have to be more careful and may even verge on paranoid. I'm scared.
 
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TheGoodGirlnowSad responded:
I know how you feel Im a girl and Im also 20... I had one partners... Me and my current bf are suppose to be getting married but hes distant ever since I told him. He test negative for STD but as you may already know guys cant really get tested for HPV unless they actually have a sign. Me not so lucky.... My immune system couldn't handle it and well I have it and I show signs...those nasty icky bumps. Now if he leaves Ill always have this I don't know what to do if he leaves. So I know your pain of getting it from someone close to you. I felt betrayed you know he says he loves me and look how much he hurt me. Now hes being a little closer.... he lets me cry and tell him my motivational speeches. You know what I do to make me feel better I stopped calling it an STD I stopped saying I have GW because of HPV. I say I have a virus but Im not sick....after all a cold or flu is a virus that also stays in our body forever we don't cry when we are told we have the flu. I still make my future not this thing. But don't get me wrong I cried and cried and cried.... then when I thought I was done crying I cried some more. Let this make you stronger

You know Ill tell you something I used the Tea Tree Oil it wont cure it duh but it makes them go away. Be patient and strong it hurts and will cut you and burn. Soak a cotton ball then bandage it over night so it stays in place. I try and clean when I go to the bathroom with wet toilet paper or a cotton ball. I wash my hands constently now. Take vitamin c and a multi vitamin.... Im also going to look into finding live leaf extract... Some research says that olive leaf extract will not completly cure you but it will eat away a bit of the virus. Worth a try right I mean why not? I think im spelling this wrong but elderberry exctract also works on the inside so this one is also worth finding. You know mine weremostly gone after 3 days of the tea tree oil. I plan on doing it 2-3 times a week even when Im clear to hopefully prevent it. Oh and if you smoke stop.... if you drink stop.... This sucks but worth it for it to stay gone for a bit longer. Exercise and eat properly no more junk food. Now I have a hard time with exercise but doing better on eating healthy. Live a healthy lifestyle basically this will make your immune system stronger and help you fight it off faster.

Don't forget mind over matter.... You wont believe how strong this can be... dont believe me try it. Tell yourself treatment will work believe that it will work. Believe that you will never have another outbreak. Stay positive!!! If you dont see improvement dont stop believing. The mind is a powerful thing and we should use it to our advantage.