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Help Our Community Answer Your Questions Better By Including In Your Post: Gender, Have You Been Tested For An STD Yet?
Type Of STD Tests and Results? Any Medications To Control Your STD?
Help Our Community Answer Your Questions Better By Including In Your Post: Gender, Have You Been Tested For An STD Yet?
Type Of STD Tests and Results? Any Medications To Control Your STD?
My date informed me she has genital herpes, what now?
richardlong posted:
I am a 50ish man who found a friend on an internet dating service. She informed me she has genital herpes. So now what? I have researched the virus and understand that infection is possible even without an outbreak. Condoms reduce the risk but do not remove risk. Apparently 20% of Americans are infected, is that with genital herpes or both types of herpes combined. Regardless my plan is to continue the relationship while minimizing risk any tips will be appreciated.
Richard
Richard
6 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:My date informed me she has genital herpes, what now?I am a 50ish man who found a friend on an internet dating service. She informed me she has genital herpes. So now what? I have researched the virus and understand that infection is possible even without an outbreak. Condoms reduce the risk but do not remove risk. Apparently 20% of Americans are infected, is that with genital herpes or both types of herpes combined. Regardless my plan is to continue the relationship while minimizing risk any tips will be appreciated.<br /><br />Richard
infinaty responded:
There are probably alot more than 20% of people that have this. You will find alot more info about this as you research more. It was very shocking to me when i found out that i had this. You need to find out which type she has. There is a rate of transmission on the right of your screen under resources. It will help. Good luck and ask any questions that you have.
Report This| Share this:My date informed me she has genital herpes, what now?There are probably alot more than 20% of people that have this. You will find alot more info about this as you research more. It was very shocking to me when i found out that i had this. You need to find out which type she has. There is a rate of transmission on the right of your screen under resources. It will help. Good luck and ask any questions that you have.
An_209358 responded:
I just want to say "thank you" for actually taking the time to research it and continuing the relationship. I am in my early 30s and have had genital herpes for 3 years now. I was in a commited relationship and he was unaware he had the virus. I havent dated much since that relationship ended 2 years ago because I fear of how the other person is going to react. Its very uplifting to read your post.
If you feel like sharing can I ask you what how she told you or what she said that didnt make you run out the door? Could she have said something or done something different. I only ask because I find telling a potential boyfriend I have herpes overwelming.
Thanks
If you feel like sharing can I ask you what how she told you or what she said that didnt make you run out the door? Could she have said something or done something different. I only ask because I find telling a potential boyfriend I have herpes overwelming.
Thanks
Report This| Share this:My date informed me she has genital herpes, what now?I just want to say "thank you" for actually taking the time to research it and continuing the relationship. I am in my early 30s and have had genital herpes for 3 years now. I was in a commited relationship and he was unaware he had the virus. I havent dated much since that relationship ended 2 years ago because I fear of how the other person is going to react. Its very uplifting to read your post. <br /> <br />If you feel like sharing can I ask you what how she told you or what she said that didnt make you run out the door? Could she have said something or done something different. I only ask because I find telling a potential boyfriend I have herpes overwelming.<br /> <br />Thanks
An_209359 replied to An_209358's response:
agree with the post above.. if you feel comfortable i would like to know how/when/etc she told you... i'm only 20 && have no idea how i would bring this up.
Report This| Share this:My date informed me she has genital herpes, what now?<i>agree with the post above.. if you feel comfortable i would like to know how/when/etc she told you... i'm only 20 && have no idea how i would bring this up.</i>
StillSmiling33 replied to An_209359's response:
I'm only 20 also and I've recently been diagnosed. I started dating this guy that I've been head over heels for some time now, and I knew eventually I would have to tell him. Well they say you shouldn't tell your partner right before you have sex but things were getting a little hot and heavy and I turned him down for the 3rd time. He didn't understand why, so I took a deep breath and told him. I started out by saying I would understand if this would freak him out or drive him away and that I wouldn't expect anything different. I told him the truth about everything. To my surprise, he understood. He was a little freaked out for a few days, but we talked about it and everything worked out. He said that he loved me for who I was and for every fault that I have. I don't know if it was just luck or what, but everything has worked out in my favor. He understands the risk of catching it and it doesn't bother him. We've even discussed marriage and starting a family. If they are that crazy about you, they will accept it and move forward with you. Don't be discouraged if you do get rejected. Keep your head up and stay strong.
Report This| Share this:My date informed me she has genital herpes, what now?I'm only 20 also and I've recently been diagnosed. I started dating this guy that I've been head over heels for some time now, and I knew eventually I would have to tell him. Well they say you shouldn't tell your partner right before you have sex but things were getting a little hot and heavy and I turned him down for the 3rd time. He didn't understand why, so I took a deep breath and told him. I started out by saying I would understand if this would freak him out or drive him away and that I wouldn't expect anything different. I told him the truth about everything. To my surprise, he understood. He was a little freaked out for a few days, but we talked about it and everything worked out. He said that he loved me for who I was and for every fault that I have. I don't know if it was just luck or what, but everything has worked out in my favor. He understands the risk of catching it and it doesn't bother him. We've even discussed marriage and starting a family. If they are that crazy about you, they will accept it and move forward with you. Don't be discouraged if you do get rejected. Keep your head up and stay strong.
betsyo1967 responded:
actually in your age group, it's 1 out of every 3 women has hsv2. A lot easier to find a gal with genital herpes than it is to find a gal who has a guaranteed pension and health insurance when she retires....he he he ( I tell my bf this is the only reason why I"m with him frequently....he he he ).
So what do you do now? Well first off, get yourself tested. odds are you've never had a type specific herpes igg blood test done. it's not a part of routine std testing in most clinics. assume nothing about your status. if you've not been tested for other std's since your last partner, cover those bases too while you are at it.
if you two did nothing but avoid sex any time she has any genital symptoms, you are 96% likely NOT to contract hsv2 from her. If she takes daily suppressive therapy with valtrex, it's up to a 98% likelihood each year you won't contract hsv2 from her. throw condoms into the mix too and it's a 99% average that you won't contract hsv2 from her. pretty reasonable odds eh? It's the same risk as pregnancy if only using the bc pill as pregnancy prevention.
Kudo's to you for taking the time to learn more! It's hard to avoid herpes the older we get so being informed about it is the best way to go about it
keep asking questions as you have them!
So what do you do now? Well first off, get yourself tested. odds are you've never had a type specific herpes igg blood test done. it's not a part of routine std testing in most clinics. assume nothing about your status. if you've not been tested for other std's since your last partner, cover those bases too while you are at it.
if you two did nothing but avoid sex any time she has any genital symptoms, you are 96% likely NOT to contract hsv2 from her. If she takes daily suppressive therapy with valtrex, it's up to a 98% likelihood each year you won't contract hsv2 from her. throw condoms into the mix too and it's a 99% average that you won't contract hsv2 from her. pretty reasonable odds eh? It's the same risk as pregnancy if only using the bc pill as pregnancy prevention.
Kudo's to you for taking the time to learn more! It's hard to avoid herpes the older we get so being informed about it is the best way to go about it
keep asking questions as you have them!
Talking about std testing is NORMAL and something we all should be doing EVERY TIME before we have sex with a new partner :)
Report This| Share this:My date informed me she has genital herpes, what now?actually in your age group, it's 1 out of every 3 women has hsv2. A lot easier to find a gal with genital herpes than it is to find a gal who has a guaranteed pension and health insurance when she retires....he he he ( I tell my bf this is the only reason why I"m with him frequently....he he he ).<br /><br />So what do you do now? Well first off, get yourself tested. odds are you've never had a type specific herpes igg blood test done. it's not a part of routine std testing in most clinics. assume nothing about your status. if you've not been tested for other std's since your last partner, cover those bases too while you are at it. <br /><br />if you two did nothing but avoid sex any time she has any genital symptoms, you are 96% likely NOT to contract hsv2 from her. If she takes daily suppressive therapy with valtrex, it's up to a 98% likelihood each year you won't contract hsv2 from her. throw condoms into the mix too and it's a 99% average that you won't contract hsv2 from her. pretty reasonable odds eh? It's the same risk as pregnancy if only using the bc pill as pregnancy prevention. <br /><br />Kudo's to you for taking the time to learn more! It's hard to avoid herpes the older we get so being informed about it is the best way to go about it <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0"><br /><br />keep asking questions as you have them!
singlemom75 responded:
at least shes honest with you about having a std. i have this too.
Report This| Share this:My date informed me she has genital herpes, what now?at least shes honest with you about having a std. i have this too.
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