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Herpes Questions - Please help!
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ImJustMe73 posted:
I'm a white female diagnosed with herpes by a positive culture. Until July of this year, it had been 1 year from the time I last had sex.

I was having sex every week - sometimes multiple times/wk - with a man (man#1) from July 18-Sept 16. We performed anal sex several times.

During that time, I had a one-night stand with another man (man #2) on Aug 31. This is the only time I was with him and we did not perform anal sex.

On Sept 23rd, exactly one week after my last exposure to man #1, I started having what I now know to be prodrome symptoms. The next day, I had bumps surrounding my anal area, nothing in my vaginal area. A culture was taken that same day & results were positive.

On October 5th, I had a HerpeSelect test drawn to determine if it was a recent infection or not. My results came back the next day as being negative for HSV 1 & 2. So yes, the infection was recent. I also received another set of test results today just to verify, again, negative for both 1 & 2.

Both men have been tested and both claim to be HSV-1 pos, but neg for HSV-2. Man #2 has shown me a copy of his results, while man #1 refuses to show me.

My questions are:
1) Since I had repeated encounters with man #1, performed anal sex (where my outbreak was), and our last encounter was within the 2 - 10 day incubation time of my outbreak, doesn't it appear more likely that he is the one I received H from? (Man #2 would have been 24 days prior to outbreak, and outside of the incubation time frame, right?)

2) If my results come back as HSV 2 pos, does this mean that the man I received it from (if he truly is only showing pos for HSV 1) was recently infected also by someone else and thus why he's not showing pos for HSV 2? Is there any other explanation?

Thanks for any input & sorry for the long post!
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betsyo1967 responded:
was your culture typed to know if it's hsv1 or hsv2?
Talking about std testing is NORMAL and something we all should be doing EVERY TIME before we have sex with a new partner :)
 
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ImJustMe73 replied to betsyo1967's response:
No. I still have no idea what type I am.
 
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betsyo1967 replied to ImJustMe73's response:
if both partners truly are only hsv1 , odds are that is what type you have. follow up 3 or 4 months after the last time you had sex prior to symptoms with a repeat igg blood test. should you have a return of symptoms prior to that, be seen promptly for a lesion culture and typing.
Talking about std testing is NORMAL and something we all should be doing EVERY TIME before we have sex with a new partner :)
 
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ImJustMe73 replied to betsyo1967's response:
Thank you and I'm aware of that, but that didn't answer either of my questions.
 
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elle0317 replied to ImJustMe73's response:
The truth is you may never know who gave it to you. Many people have herpes and never have a break out or can have it for many years before their first outbreak. Did you have anal sex with other men prior to these guys?

OTOH that fact that guy #1 refused to show you his results does seem kind of suspicious. But that doesn't make him 'guilty'
 
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ImJustMe73 replied to elle0317's response:
My negative blood tests prove that it is in fact a recent infection. Having last had sex a year ago limits it to one of these two men. I'm inclined to believe that it's guy #1 based on incubation time, the fact that he and I had anal sex when guy #2 and I didn't, as well as the fact that he and I had sex numerous times unlike the lower chance of catching it from a one time exposure with guy #2. Does that not seem more likely?
 
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betsyo1967 replied to ImJustMe73's response:
bottom line is it makes no difference who you got it from anyways. you need to find out what you have and then any current or future partners need tested to know what their status is so that you can make educated decisions about what precautions to take together.

even the best blood tests still miss 1 out of every 10 hsv1 infections. they aren't quite as helpful as the hsv2 serology is though they are still pretty accurate in general. if both partners test for hsv1 and you find out you also have hsv1 genitally, no way to accurately know who gave it to you. I know I myself got hsv2 from a one time encounter. It happens.
Talking about std testing is NORMAL and something we all should be doing EVERY TIME before we have sex with a new partner :)
 
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ImJustMe73 responded:
Can anyone answer my questions please? It may not matter to some people how I got this, but it matters very much to me, otherwise I wouldn't have asked to begin with!
 
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georgiagail replied to ImJustMe73's response:
Your questions have been answered to the best of the ability that an internet board CAN answer them.

It's often impossible to determine which partner actually provided the infectious agent when one is having unprotected sexual contact with several partners. Sorry but that's just the way it is.

Gail
 
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annie72856 replied to georgiagail's response:
I need help with symptoms. The symptoms that I had was an extremely enlarged and painful clitoris. I could literally hardly walk because of it. The sore eventually broke and I had alot of blood but it relieved the pressure on my genitals. Has anyone else here every had these types of symptoms? I've tried to research it but never see this listed as a symptom. I was tested neg for Genital herpes but positive blood test for HSV1. It showed that I have had the virus before. Please help
 
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msduchess05 responded:
The fact that man #1 refuses to show you his test results speaks volumes to me. It is rare that a genital HSV1 infection spreads asymptomatically combined with the fact that the encounter with man#2 was during the incubation periof for your initial outbreak makes man#1 very much the most likely candidate. Ofcourse, I can't be sure but since man#1 won't show you his results I'd bet he's a liar and has HSV2. Sorry that you are going through this. I was diagnosed three years ago next week...better get a Valtrex shaped cake for my "anniversary"...ha! I hadn't had sex in 14 months and my boyfriend of 2 years before that period (we were monogomous) did not have it. Yes, I saw his test results. He had HSV1 but not HSV2 which I tested positive for. The funny thing is that when I was initially diagnosed my brain immediately went back to a statement my boyfriend of 4.5 years before him said about herpes being no big deal when someone mentioned it on a talk show we were watching. I have a very STRONG feeling it was him but as a pp stated it doesn't matter who you got it from at that point although I understand the need to know. Hang in there. It does get better.
 
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whatarewedoing2ourselves replied to annie72856's response:
I know that this must be painful. Other people want tell you they are trying to be nice. Go to a store and buy yourself the biggest bottle of asprin they have and put it between your knee's . That will solve most of your problem. Hang on tight to it to. see if you don't feel better in the end. pills don't cure everything people.. have some kind of body respect please.
 
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cnikkig318 replied to whatarewedoing2ourselves's response:
So i was kicked out on May 6th, 2011. (Take my word for it what i did never directly effected his health.) I did not return to the house until May 20th, 2011. Exactly 2 weeks after our little "seperation" i moved back into the house and i knew i wanted to straighten my act up and have a real family. (This is where it gets interesting)
We had agreed that we were going to "start over" both of us. He said he would start paying me more attention and being around the house more with me and the kids. I said that i would make our family my #1 priority. We both agreed (although he is the one that mentioned this) that if we had anything at all that had happened or something that the other might not like, just to let it out and it wouldnt be mentioned again.
Everything was going perfect we were as happy as we had been when we met almost 2 years ago. His mom was even warming back up to me... on Tues. May 31st 2011 his cousin who is a friend to me came by the house. she mentioned to me that he had gone to another friend of ours house while i was gone. that "friend" was his first love, his first highschool girlfriend and who he stayed with for almost 5 years. i was mad because he had to have been hiding something to not have told me. now everything has changed to i love you and only you im not explaining myself anymore. i didnt do anything wrong.
this morning Sat june 4th i woke up to some severe pain in my mouth my tounge was swolen my cheeks were sunken and i felt so damn dirty . friday night i noticed little tiny blisters in my mouth. i hadnt been able to eat since tuesday, no apetite. i havent been able to drink a lot since it burns my tongue/lips/ gums/ throat. He is also saying that when the same girl had given him chlamydia (9 years ago) he had gone and gotten tested for "everything". and i need to know if he had a herpes test. i dont believe he did but if in fact he did and he was as "squeeky clean" then as he claimes to be now, then i will have to see what my results say. so my sores in my mouth are all over my tounge and my gums and cheeks. but he "didnt cheat on me" and his story about that isnt going anywhere. If she had given him oral sex without protection would the HSV-1 be to blame for the sores in my mouth? is there a way to know if this is the first time i've ever had anything like this even if i have had a little cold sore in the past?
he seems to think that if i have it (since he has never had a cold sore in his life he is all good, now that i've broken out all in my mouth and he doesnt have any symptoms) that he won't have to confess about his cheating.
but if i get my results back and they say positive he swears his will still say negative.
i keep hearing "i better not have anything cuz i havent done anything with anyone but you since we've been togeather."
and when they test me today the woman just shook her head. i know its not canker sores now...
how should i handle knowing that he has cheated on me and i just had his son in march?
if he doesnt admit to cheating on me; should i let it go AGAIN? i feel dirty and used like an old maxi pad... i dont want to lose my family but at the same time is anything i could have possibly done "to him" or "put him thru" justification enough to bring me home and give me a disease? so which type of herpes did he bring me? type 1 or type 2? will i be able to tell how long he has had it? is there a chance that i'm the one that brought it in from a previous relationship? can it go dormant for years and never have then stress bring it out for the first time in such a severe way?
could he have had this for years and not have known at all?how many types of herpes could have been transmitted to me? i gave him oral sex i on wed. 6/1. my mouth was a little sore thursday morning. friday i noticed that my mouth had some small blisters on my inside of my tounge and my gums and cheeks... how do i find out how and when i got this crap?
 
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MsNesbitt replied to whatarewedoing2ourselves's response:
Are you implying she's a slut? People have gotten HSV2 in monogamous relationships, from either a partner who didn't have it or wasn't truthful, or perhaps only one was being monogamous. Don't make this girl the bad guy in this, she's being very forthright and honest about her situation. Your answer isn't very supportive, or realistic.


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