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    finally reaching out
    ljaj8606 posted:
    hi im 25/F. i found out a year ago that i have herpes(type1) "genital"... iv only had the one beakout... still kinda confussed about everything... and still verry emotional about it... i have not been with anyone sense this has happened to me.. just dont know how to get over it... and move on.. and most important.. how do i tell someone who is inerested in me... and im interested in him, about "my story" i just feel so lost.
    betsyo1967 responded:
    how were you diagnosed as having hsv1 genitally?

    so how do you talk about it with a potential partner? You should be talking about std's, testing, condom use and birth control with all your partners. You can easily work in the herpes part as part of that conversation :) Ask your partner if they test regularly for std's and ask if they know exactly what they do get tested for ( it's ok to ask to see test results too! ). Ask if they use condoms - not something you want to find out when things are hot and heavy! Discuss what birth control you use too. Then let them know about your genital herpes. provide them with some basic info - how little it sheds and how unlikely it is to be transmitted to a partner. Once they've been tested for herpes and know their test results, you can make educated decisions together about what precautions to take. You can still get hsv2 genitally so them getting tested to know both their hsv1 and hsv2 status both is important for you both!

    Herpes is incredibly common. Statistically 1 out of every 2-3 people you know has hsv1 already.
    Talking about std testing is NORMAL and something we all should be doing EVERY TIME before we have sex with a new partner :)
    ljaj8606 replied to betsyo1967's response:
    well last year in febuary i messed around with this guy only one time.(he did perform oral) it was 2 days later i knew something was wrong.. at first i noticed that it was itchy..and ther was 2 lil bumps... i thought i had a yeast infection or i was hopeing thats all it was. so i go to the clinic. they could not get a swob from the bumps.. so the took my blood.. test came back negative for both type 1 and 2. so then it was a coulpe days after that... there were more bumps... and verry painfull.... it felt like lil pins poking me.. and it was very painfull to pee. so i went in again.. and they were able to get a swab from the sores... but they didnt take my blood. the swab test came back positive for hsv type 1.... so the doc put me on ACYCLOVIR.. it helpded and everything went away. so then a coulpe months later i wanted then to test my blood again because i was confussed.. so got blood work done again and sure enuff possitive for herpes type 1... inbetween all this time i called the guy i messed around with and told him what happened and he did say that he has had cold sores before and thats how i know he is the one who i feel "ruined" me. thanks for responding it means alot. i just feel like this is haunting me and think about it everyday. but one thing i always wonder is that... i was kissing him too but i never got a cold sore on my lip. so will i ever? or if i do ever have a outbreak again is it always gonna be in the genital area?
    sunshine098 replied to ljaj8606's response:
    Hi! I was in a similar situation as you,only I didn't get a culture done, I only know I have hsv1 by blood test. Whether its on my mouth or genitally or both I don't know. I just want to let you know that the guy who perform oral on you, didn't ruin you . Life goes on, Half of the population has hsv1 orally and a small percent has hsv1 genitally. It's very common. A lot of people don't know you can catch hsv1 genitally from receiving oral sex, and that why hsv1 is on the rise as genital herpes. You can still live a normal life, chances are that you might never have another outbreak. I've been doing a lot of reading on hsv1 genitally and chances or extremely low of ever passing the virus on during intercourse. Just be cautious and don't have sex if you are experiencing a outbreak. You don't have to tell your future partner that you have hsv1 genitally, just go it tested with them for std's and get tested for herpes together. Chances are they might pop up positive for hsv1 too. How are you supposed to know how they caught hsv1? They can have it genitally also and not even know it or just not telling you, or have it orally. Always practice safe sex. In all that I'm saying, I'm just trying to say live your life,it's not over. You rather have hsv1 vs having hsv2 which is more contagious.
    betsyo1967 replied to ljaj8606's response:
    What studies we do have on hsv1 genitally show that anywhere from 1/4 - 2/3's of folks who contracted hsv1 genitally, also contracted it orally too around the same time. Unless you get an obvious cold sore, no easy ( or cheap ) way to know if you also have it orally or not since most folks who contract hsv1 orally, never get obvious cold sores to know it. Usually I recommend just discussing with your partner whether they are interested in you only performing protected oral or not if they are hsv1 negative. If you are in your 20's, 1 out of every 3 people you know has hsv1. It's very common and by the time we retire, 80% of us have it in the US alone. Not many of us make it through life without it.

    You aren't ruined dear. You contracted a very common viral infection. Don't let yourself get hung up on it because it's in your genital area.
    Talking about std testing is NORMAL and something we all should be doing EVERY TIME before we have sex with a new partner :)

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