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Boyfriend's sexuality
Anon_238565 posted:
I'm intimidated by the # of partners and crazy sexual experiences that my boyfriend has had. It confuses and upsets me. I don't know why. The past is past. He is faithful. We have both tested negative for std's(in fact he donates blood reguarly).

I was 31 and my boyfriend was 29 when we got together. We are 30 and 32 now.

My boyfriend claims, "Sex was never important to me." He was in the Marines for 5 years before going away to college. He partied hard in college. I know that the # of sexual partners I have had is 10. They were all men. When I asked my boyfriend, he did not know a # because he said it wasn't important to him to kep track." He didn't think couples asked each other this question. I'm his 2nd relationship. His first relationship was with a girl in the Marines when he was 21; they were together for 9 months before being assigned to different duties. He said he never wanted to be tied down or committed before. His sexual partners were all 1 night stands or friends with benefits. He doesn't remember most of their names. His college crew was pretty wild. The girls kissed each other so the guys kissed each other "to turn the girls on." I have never heard of men acting like this. A gay guy had a crush on my boyfriend so one night my boyfriend drank a bottle of wiskey and let the guy into his room. They kissed and he wanted to see if he could actually go through with oral sex with a guy. He told me that they only kissed and touched while naked; it made him physically ill and that is as far as he could go. He said he never considered himself gay or bisexual and is straight. I noticed that before we dated..his "Interested In" on Fascebook said Men and Women." I asked him about this and he never gave me a clear answer. He said it was a bit of a joke and he forgot about changing it for a while after posting it. He jokes a lot..especially when it comes to Facebook. He is very pro-gay rights and pro- gay marriage because he said he has seen a lot of gay couples in college just as committed to each other or more committed to each other than traight couples. HIs brother has given and received bow jobs from males in high school. My boyfriend said he was embarrassed by this in high school and the kissing he did in college was just to be shocking and thought everyone experiemented in college.

I have recently started to wonder what his true orientation is, based on the information I am giving here which wa s shared at the beginning of our reationship when I initiated what /i thought was the typical sexual history talk. Do all couples have this talk? Is it important to have? Am I right to worry even though he is totally in love with and committed to me. I know that he is attracted to females, likes amale celebrities and watches straight porn.

Why am I so concerned? Advice?! Is he right..does everyone experiment? Am I just prude or old fashioned?
GuardSquealer responded:
I never have had this talk with my wife. I am a bit jealous and I know she was a little wild for a while, so I decided I would be better off never knowing her complete history. Personally I have been with around 10 other women. No real one night stands. Even after being together over 20 years I still do not want to know her history.

As far as the experimentation with other men, well that is a personal choice. He was honest with you and told you everything you wanted to know. Now you are second guessing his answers. I would say at this point if you are happy with him, forget his past. Sounds like he was adventurous and fun loving.

I would say it is probably better off not to even ask. Especially if there are answers that you won't like. If you are going to base whether or not you love someone on their sexual history, then maybe you should ask. But otherwise I don't think it can do any good to know.

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