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Advise needed on having sex with the ex-girlfriend.
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An_240282 posted:
I've been broken up with my last girlfriend for almost over a year. It was a bad breakup. It was a verbally abusive and slightly physical abusive relationship. My ex will email me every now and then just to update me on what's going on in her life. I usually don't write back. She was a pretty heavy girl and she'll randomly email me a picture of the new her. She's thin now. Every now and then she'll invite me over for sex. So far, I haven't accepted her invitation. I'm confused. I'm a guy, so of course I want to have sex. But I feel this may be the wrong person to have sex with. She promises me there will be no strings attached and there will be minimal emotions involved. Just sex. She says, I don't even have to spend the night if I don't want to. She even goes into detail, telling me I can do anything I want to her and visa versa. The offer is so tempting. I love sex. I want to have sex with her. Should I?
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FCL responded:
Don't do it.

It was a bad breakup and a toxic relationship. Do you want to go through all that again? Your ex is trying to lure you back with promises of no-strings-attached sex. Do you think either of you is capable of no-strings-attached sex? Probably not. You've already been close and it will be practically impossible not to slide down the slippery path to being a couple again.

There was a reason you broke up. Block her number on your phone, her email on your computer. Move on with your life. Do not look back. That chapter is officially closed.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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Jumper197074857 responded:
Stay away from her. There's nothing to be gained. Your no-strings attached sex session could wind up being a string-attached for 18 years if she winds up pregnant.

By the way, who was the abuser in the relationship?
 
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luvmy2babiesmuch replied to Jumper197074857's response:
pretty much agree that you should steer clear of her, BUT what if it would be different now? what if she and you have both changed? do you have a gf?? i definetely would not go see her if i had a gf! also, if you didn't get along only a year ago, chances rae that you will not get along now. she could so be trapping youm, or using you to make another jelous, i thinks she sounds pretty scary,, i think i would go the other way. are you desperately needing sex? if not, seek otyher friends, and maybe someone that you get along well with, have fun with, and a great sex life, without the head games..
 
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An_240282 replied to luvmy2babiesmuch's response:
She was the abuser. She claims that she is a different person now. I'm not desperate for sex. But I feel I would really enjoy having sex with her. But it seems, according to all of the responses so far, this would be a very bad idea.
 
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Anon_3723 replied to An_240282's response:
I say go have sex with her at least once. If it goes well then enjoy. If it doesn't well then make it hard for her to get a hold of you.
 
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Elle0317 replied to An_240282's response:
Definitely don't do it. Look at all the progress you've made this past year and abusers rarely change unless they have gone through intense therapy, which I doubt she did, as not many do.

Like FCL said there is reason you broke up, leave it there.

Why give someone a second chance, when there are others waiting for their first. Best of luck.
 
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Furryboy replied to Elle0317's response:
oh yeah, steer clear buddy
 
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An_240282 replied to Furryboy's response:
Well, her urges to have sex with me seemed to subside. I think we both realized it's not the best idea. Thanks for all of your feedback and support. You're suggestions were almost all against it. I kinda feel stupid for not doing it. I mean, what normal guy would turn down the opportunity to have sex? Lol!! But I'm sure I would feel even more stupid if something bad happened from us deciding to do it. Thanks again!
 
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Elle0317 replied to An_240282's response:
"I kinda feel stupid for not doing it. I mean, what normal guy would turn down the opportunity to have sex? "

You are the 'normal' guy that's why you didn't do it. It's the men with little morality that would have jumped back in with no questions asked.


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