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Birth control advice
jps89 posted:

I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post about this or not, but I had a question about birth control. For the record, I don't believe in using birth control as a regular occurrence-- I think that normally speaking you shouldn't.

Here's my situation: I am unmarried and a virgin. (Male) I am getting married in January to a girl from New Zealand (yes, congratulations to me ). The unfortunate thing is that she will have to remain in New Zealand while we wait for her green card. The US embassy doesn't want her visiting the US in the mean time. So, we don't think it would be a good idea to have kids during that time.

She does NOT like the idea of messing with her hormones at all. That leaves us with a few options that I know of: condoms, or spermicide. She is a virgin as well so I don't think an IUD would work.

My question is, any suggestions? We wish we didn't have to use ANYTHING since we are both virgins and it will be a special time (depending on when her period falls, we may not have to the first time.) With regard to spermicide, is there any bad effects? I want to absolutely stay away from ANYTHING that could negatively affect a baby in the even that it does not work.

Thanks for the advice!!

FCL responded:
Here's as good a place as any to ask your question

Firstly, no birth control option will negatively affect a baby if it doesn't work. Secondly, you may not be aware of all the options available to you. Here's a chart that gives them and their reliability rate:

Thirdly, no method other than abstinence is 100%.

Here's a link to a page that helps you choose the method that will suit you best:

Finally, congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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