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I'm 23 years old and very frustrated - having problems "getting it up"
Anon_122796 posted:
About a week ago I lost my virginity at 23 years old to my girlfriend. I'm very attracted to her, but even when we were having sex I was having LOTS of trouble keeping it up the whole time. I will be seeing her again soon and I do not want this to happen again. It was EXTREMELY frustrating. I spent about 4 nights at her house and it was the same story every night - I couldn't get hard or aroused enough.

Here's some more info: like 2 weeks before I lost my virginity I was masturbating once a day (normal for me) and I had no problems getting it up. Ever since I lost my virginity with my gf I'm now having trouble getting turned on and getting it up, I do not know what's wrong with me. Even if I look at porn I don't get turned on like I used to. If anyone could please help me, I would really appreciate it.
Torcal responded:
I think you have become too self-conscious and actually create your problem because of apprehension. You obviously have no physical problems. Work on stimulating your girlfriend to the point of frenzy without thinking about yourself and "it" will take care of itself without your help. Keep the foreplay going as long as you can and don't fell like you have to "get it over with" to prove you're not a wuzzy, which you are not.
FCL responded:
STOP! BREATHE! There is nothing wrong with your situation. You are perfectly normal but overthinking things (stop that IMMEDIATELY it's totally useless). Take one step at a time and you'll be fine.

Sex isn't science, it's about what you and your partner like. Porn has little relation to the real world.

Lose your mental images about sex, they are caused by your porn viewing (nothing wrong with that other than it gives you false ideas about sex). Forget all of your preconceived ideas and enjoy the moment.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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