Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up
Searching for advice.
avatar
twinsdad1121 posted:
11 months ago my wife had a hysterectomy, leaving her one ovary. Since she doctor told her she could resume sexual activity 8 weeks after the surgery, she still refuses to have intercourse with me. She will ask me to masturbate her to climax or go down on her, and she said all that feels great still, but she still refuses to do anything sexually to me. What should a man do when his wife refuses to have sex with him? She's 45 years old; I'm 47, married for 16 years, with two kids. I'm getting very frustrated here. It's been over a year since we last had intercourse and I am missing the intimacy very much. I thought I was being very patient, but now I am second guessing myself
Thanks
Reply
 
avatar
hairyd responded:
twinsdad, Your a gentleman and being patient was correct.
A husband should never force his penis into his wife's pussy.
I guess you have been jerk off. Will she give you any reason why she also will not give you oral or a hand job? There may be two reason why she refuses intercourse. Some female think of sex only for children. But our bodies are able to enjoy sex anytime. A female also is able to bear a child with only one ovary. After a hysterectomy a couple should use more lubication. If you able to maintain a erection for a long session; continue to add addition lube. Also ask her to return to her doctor with you. She may have chemical imbalance.She should be willing to talk with a third party to save your marriage.
Stay HEALTH, you are the the fastest Sperm from your Father.
 
avatar
twinsdad1121 replied to hairyd's response:
Thankyou HariyD for your repsonse. My wife has never given me oral, she said she gave it to previous boyfriends, it was something she didn't enjoy doing, and decided (before we started dating) that she wouldn't do it again.Eight years ago or so I tried to get her to talk more about it, and she wouldn't volunter any info. As for hand jobs, she claims her arms and hands get too tired way before I reach a climax, so she rarely will try any more. We had gone to marriage couseling for three years, with some improvment. The marriage couselor suggested my wife in particular should see a sex theropist(sp?), but my wife wouldn't follow through with it. I have suggested lube, and have it handy and I will try asking her again to try using it. She is scheduling a doctors appointment for July, but with our regular family doctor, not the GYN who did the hysterectomy, but I will suggest a follow up visit with him also to see if she is willing to do so,
 
avatar
hairyd replied to twinsdad1121's response:
twinsdad, this is your marriage that MUST BE SAVED My boys aree hurting for YOU. Will she let you and can you vist your family doctor together. Sex theropist are great. But you should be a Super partner after waiting 11 months. A family GP has training in sexual issue of the body. Your wife may need a third party. To explain a marriage union required the same and more sexual bonding. Than the sex she provided to previous boyfriends. She is returning your love when she give you bj. As you get her love we you are in her pussy. It give and receive. I am also slow shooting my organism. But my wife take a break with her arms. AS long as we kissing and her breast are in reach. I am able to hold hard. YOUR WIFE should always love the MAN that married her. More than DICKS that ONLY enjoyed her sexual sweets. YOU BOTH need to have a long talk together. Out side of the bedroom. Can you go to a private park? Riverside? JUST the TWO of you need to KNOW in a MARRIAGE it not "I" DECIDED. But "WE" DECIDED.

Since your a father I would say bit the bullet and keep on jerking.

But if She is not will to change with YOUR HELP.
I know what I would do. But this is your Life. Are you BETTER WITH HER?
Stay HEALTH, you are the the fastest Sperm from your Father.
 
avatar
twinsdad1121 responded:
Update:
We did have a talk about this. She said she actually hasn't been feeling must in her vulva while we have been haveing me masturbate her - more of just feeling a pressure of some one touching her. She claimed me giving her oral was more pleasurable, but not quite what it was before surrgery.
Unfortunately we didn't come to any agreement on how to procede and how to make this better for both of us.
 
avatar
doogood replied to twinsdad1121's response:
Twinsdad - there are many lotions available at your local drugstore (even WalMart!) that heighten a woman's sensations. KY makes a few different formulas that my wife an I have used. Have you experimented with any of these? Most create a very cool/minty senstation that seem to arouse the female clitoris and vulva. I stongly recommend trying some of these and see what works best for both of you. And there's nothing wrong with two loving, consenting adults using these products. Best of luck to you both!


Spotlight: Member Stories

MARRIED TO THE MOST AWESOME WOMAN IN THE WORLD!!!!!! yes i meant to type it that way, 2 adorable sons , work in the world of finance, any questions i&...More

Helpful Tips

DRUG FREE ED SOLUTION
SEXUAL ADVISE FIVE YEARS AGO OR MORE, I BEGAN TO EXPERIENCE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION (AND WHO DOESN'T?) I AM 77 AND A HALF, I AM ABLE TO ... More
Was this Helpful?
13 of 28 found this helpful

Helpful Resources

Be the first to post a Resource!

Related News

There was an error with this newsfeed

Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.