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Married with homosexual feelings
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hupo73 posted:
I am married and in my late 40's. I have always been attracted to men. I told my wife about it before we got married and I chose to marry. I do not regret that decision, but the last few years these feelings have really surfaced in a huge way. I have acted out with a few guys, i.e. touched them, mutual j/o and some oral. I feel bad about doing those things, but it is like I opened a pandoras box and now I want to do more. How does one reconcile being happily married, with kids and no desire to lose that with the desire to want men. I am having a very hard time with this. Any thoughts on what will help?
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fcl responded:
You decide which is more important to you - being happily married or having sex with men. OTOH, perhaps your wife would agree to an open marriage? Have you talked to her about this?
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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tuckermax responded:
Maybe your wife would be open to bringing another guy into the bedroom. It completely depends on your relationship with your wife.

Alot of times its better to have a threeway then a cheating husband or a broken marriage. She may really enjoy it as well.

Maybe start trying to things slowly in bed and adding more new things and trying fantasys then after a bit bring up this topic.

Good luck mate. Just don't cheat
 
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doogood responded:
Hupo - I don't know many women who are willing to share their men with anyone - female, male or anything in between. This is a slippery slope you tread my friend. I too am married -22 years- , have children and have similar feelings toward men. However, I haven't been in an intimate physical relationship with another man for more than 20 years. I'm not trying to sound like I'm judging. If you do the math correctly you'll see that calculates to right around when I got married. I wanted the best of both worlds when I was younger. Believe me, there have been times that I have fought some intense feelings to be with another man since then. And I've had some close online relationships with some men too. I still can't decide if this was technically cheating or not. The human brain and technology aren't keeping the same pace - yeah I know that's another subject. None of us can tell you what to do. I decided to look and not touch - both men and women - and stay connected to only my wife. It's not always easy and there are some days that I look more than others. You have to decide what works for you and your wife. Maybe she is willing to allow you some playtime with other guys. My experience says this is a delicate move to make without you having to make some concessions also. If you get to have a boyfriend, why can't she. Are you willing to move to a foursome? Best of luck my friend. Maybe someone here can offer advice on how to make this work And let us all know how they did it!.
 
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hupo73 replied to doogood's response:
Thanks Doogood and the others for you thoughts. There is no way my wife will allow others into the bedroom and no way she would be comfortable with me doing anything with someone else. So what I have done in the past is wrong, but it has been a long time since then. I guess it is just difficult because it feels so alone. My wife knows I have these feelings, but I do not discuss it much with her. She doesn't understand and if we discuss it she just feels inadequate. I understand that, but it feels like I am so alone at times. I have shared this with straight friends, but inevitably they end up distancing themselves from me (or I distance myself, not sure). I don't share it with anyone anymore. Doogood, do you look at guys on the internet to satisfy your urges?
 
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Stefcd responded:
Hupo:

I am also married and a crossdresser,I too love sex with men as well as women and my wife is aware of my past. She satisfies the urge s I have for men by the use of sex toys.This may not be a cure all but she has kept me from straying.I dress in womens clothes on a daily basis now and she is so supportive,I would rather be able to act out my feminine side than my desires for gay sex.
 
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An_247093 replied to doogood's response:
Hello Doogood,

Can you give me a call, would love to talk to you.

S.
 
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tido1987 replied to An_247093's response:
Can I call you to? I would love to talk to you
 
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Hunter responded:
Hey Hupo. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Just be clean,sane, safe, and discreet. I travel a lot and there are so many married guys looking for some easy going man to man fun. Just check Craigslist. Where you located and how can I contact you? I'm new to WebMD so don't know the ropes. But I do know married guys who never get anything at home and like a good, no strings attached blow job.
Thanks!
 
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Anon_475 replied to Hunter's response:
So you're advising him to cheat ...?
 
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An_248427 responded:
too late pal you should have thought about that before u got married...you want to destroy 3 lives too...
 
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sofivergara11 responded:
Its quite difficult for you to select what to do or not as per my suggestion you have to do the thing which you like to do then rest leave all.
 
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An_250812 responded:
im not sure if im making a mistake or not.....I have always been with women,sex with women,love the sex with them,but for the longest time I have had thoughts of being with a man once and having oral and anal sex,the thought of a big size [which I am not> I have always crossed dressed when I had the oppty.I get so turned on love the feeling of the silky material,and watch straight porn to get off.i recently decided to go on a popular sex site,seeing the pics of these large guys,my heart began to beat Hard,i got Turned On,posted an ad,got answered,for a month nothing,now I have a actual meet coming up,and I know im going....I have been faithful to my wife for entire life,but want to act out ....Not sure if I really should or not..Scared also this is a police trap,and im gonna end up exposed and in jail...
 
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Anon_475 replied to An_250812's response:
If in doubt, don't ...

Imagine if you caught an STD (condoms don't protect against all of them) and took it home to your wife. Imagine if it was someone she knew. Imagine if it was your wife catfishing you. Do you really want to cheat on her?


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