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Sexual issues Member To Member

Talk about sexual issues, like the old board

Last Reply:

looking for your views...

qqcuriousaboutthings posted:

my boyfriend of 3+ yrs has lost a child 4 yrs ago and 6 months into the relationship of having sex he starts to experience what he has said to be major anxiety when he even thinks of having sex...so therfore we havent had sex in that long...when i bring the subject up to discuss he sometimes cant even talk about it. im at a loss...and it is now starting to affect me...my relationship is just missing the sexual interaction between the two of us yet there is a non sexual intimacy between us that is beautiful...any suggestions?

3 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:looking for your views...my boyfriend of 3+ yrs has lost a child 4 yrs ago and 6 months into the relationship of having sex he starts to experience what he has said to be major anxiety when he even thinks of having sex...so therfore we havent had sex in that long...when i bring the subject up to discuss he sometimes cant even talk about it. im at a loss...and it is now starting to affect me...my relationship is just missing the sexual interaction between the two of us yet there is a non sexual intimacy between us that is beautiful...any suggestions?

gymrat44 responded:

You have a situation which is both difficult as it is unusual. I can see where your boyfriend has anxieties about the loss of a child that it could impact his physical ability to have another.

You describe your closeness and how wonderful that is but I can understand how your lack of physical intimacy could make things somewhere between difficult and less than perfect. I bet there could be a good counselor out there who could help you both work with your feelings, yours as well as his. Best of wishes on making things better for you both! Life's too short not to try to do what we can.

Report This| Share this:looking for your views...You have a situation which is both difficult as it is unusual. I can see where your boyfriend has anxieties about the loss of a child that it could impact his physical ability to have another. You describe your closeness and how wonderful that is but I can understand how your lack of physical intimacy could make things somewhere between difficult and less than perfect. I bet there could be a good counselor out there who could help you both work with your feelings, yours as well as his. Best of wishes on making things better for you both! Life's too short not to try to do what we can.

qqcuriousaboutthings replied to gymrat44's response:

Thank you for your reply...I am personally working with a therapist but we havent decided to go together...and I believe our extremely busy schedules have allowed this to sway to the side for way too long...anyway...I do appreciate what you wrote

Report This| Share this:looking for your views...Thank you for your reply...I am personally working with a therapist but we havent decided to go together...and I believe our extremely busy schedules have allowed this to sway to the side for way too long...anyway...I do appreciate what you wrote <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0">

gymrat44 replied to qqcuriousaboutthings's response:

I'm glad that you are doing something, if only by yourself. That could be a start.

Being overly busy can be a problem for many of us and sometimes the things which are really the most important to us come in towards the end of our priorities when we make choices of how our time is spent. And I would agree that it can be difficult to work things in, especially if there's any reluctance. I know sometimes I'll avoid or delay doing something which I know is for my own good if I sense some sort of threat or have some uneasiness about it.

I do wish for a good outcome for both of you!

Report This| Share this:looking for your views...I'm glad that you are doing something, if only by yourself. That could be a start. Being overly busy can be a problem for many of us and sometimes the things which are really the most important to us come in towards the end of our priorities when we make choices of how our time is spent. And I would agree that it can be difficult to work things in, especially if there's any reluctance. I know sometimes I'll avoid or delay doing something which I know is for my own good if I sense some sort of threat or have some uneasiness about it. I do wish for a good outcome for both of you!

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