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BF low sex drive vs. my overactive sex drive
macie731 posted:
My bf and I have been dating for over a yr. and when we first got together we had sex every day, sometimes 2x a day. But about 4 mths after we were together our sex life went down hill fast. He has no problem masterbating and often does it daily after he tells me he's not in the mood for sex, which I find very confusing. I know because we live together and he waits until I go to bed to pleasure himself. I also masterbate but don't find satisfaction from it even when using toys. I find myself getting very frustrated because he says he could go without sex because he doesn't enjoy it and can't get an erection because of performance issues even with pills. Dr.s have told him it's a confidence thing but he refuses therapy and now I am just unhappy and find our relationship to be very strained. How can I be satisfied and stop nagging him for sex and let him enjoy masterbation without being resentful of the fact that he just wants that to be his method of satisfaction instead of me. My sex drive seems to have increased dramatically over the last yr and I don't know why. I just want us both to be happy. BTW he is 44 and I am 40.
stevesmw responded:
Masturbation and intercourse are completely different. Masturbation doesn't involve pleasing your partner. Most of the time you can't fail masturbating.

I have ed issues and would still really enjoy pleasing my wife manually. I pleased her with my penis for over 30 years and unfortunately she wouldn't even consider making love unless she knew I had a good sustainable erection.
sluggo45692 responded:
I'm a 50 year old man and your bf is an horse's behind. I self pleasure myself, but when it comes to my gf, I'm all in. Your willing, but he would rather stroke himself. The doctors says nothing physically wrong, and he doesn't want to get therapy.

Your not the problem and your not nagging. Your a sexually active woman and he's suppost to be the one helping you become sexually satisfied. Wasn't that one of the reason you moved in.

The reason he has no sex drive is because he's playing with himself and relieveing his sexual tension. DAILY. Tell him to stop playing with himself and play with you. Even if I can't get it up to par, I still take care of my gf.

Sorry, but it drives me crazy when a man doesn't want to be a man for his woman and vice versa. By the way, my opinion, dating is 2 people living apart and going out. Moving in together isn't dating anymore. It's committment without paper. If your still seeing other people, it's room mate with benefits. I have a live-in committed relationship with my gf and I would do about anything to keep her. Again just my opinion.
Good Luck

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