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RE: Wanted to have sex with my husband, but he could not perform
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Anon_27116 posted:
I have never asked questions on WebMD about sex so I am a bit embarrassed. First of all, I have chronic pain and have for more than 20 years at least. When I remarried I had already had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis. That particular condition causes a lot of pain in a woman so I was very young when I had my hysterectomy. My dr. then put me on replacement hormones and I was able to have an interest in having sex with my husband.
Some years ago when my chronic pain got so much worse, I was not able to have sex for a long time. Every time I did have sex with my husband it always hurt so much. I did see my gynecologist and asked her if there was something wrong with me and she did not give me answers to my problem. Finally I had to quit taking the oral hormones due to another problem and my dr. prescribed a medicine that has hormones in it that you put inside of you. Well, that did not help with the pain either.
Recently, I made myself available to my husband and for some reason he was not able to perform at all. I was just shocked and blamed myself for what did not happen. I have heard of men needing to take some type of medicine when their own hormones are not working very well.
I am at a loss to find answers to this problem because I really want to be intimate with my husband. We always got along so much better when we were able to have sex, but now it is a thing of the past.
One more thing that might be causing him trouble is that he still has a job and these new employers are new and there is a lot of stress going on at his job.
Does anyone have any suggestions that might be of help?
Thanks
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stevesmw responded:
He loves you and he knows making love to you causes you pain, it will definitely effect his interest. If he's getting older and stressed it will also effect his ability to perform.
Accommodation is a lot less of a turn on then knowing he his going to make you feel good.


Are the two of you not interested in any other form of sexual activity beside intercourse?
 
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An_256893 responded:
Why not try oral sex? If you can get your husband hard orally maybe he can get an erection and come. If penetration hurts you too much he can do oral on you. You may enjoy oral and maybe he can get you to come.
 
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alantewks replied to An_256893's response:
I too have ED but we still have sex. There are many things you can do to pleasure each other. We have all sorts of innovative things we do including toys. You need to explore.
 
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jacqui_olliver responded:
A man has to focus on sexually arousing thoughts and feelings to be able to become aroused and hard. The conscious mind can only focus on one task at a time, so if he is concerned about hurting you during sex, then he will be unable to become hard.

The work issue could be affecting his arousal as well for the same reason. If he is concerned about work issues, it is difficult to stay focused on the sexually arousing thoughts and feelings which would naturally increase his erection and keep it hard.

It is normal for a man to lose his erection as he is pleasuring his woman with oral or by hand. This loss of erection occurs because his mind is focused on the 'mechanics' of pleasuring her and not relating that pleasure back to his penis.

Take intercourse off the menu for a few weeks and instead, focus on pleasuring each other with supportive and considerate stroking. Ask your husband to use lubrication on you. As you take turns pleasuring each other, focus on enjoying the feelings of engaging in this intimate pleasure.

Endometriosis can usually be reversed via correct diet, exercise and supplementation. I suggest you search for a medical doctor trained in human nutrition to correct this problem.
Personal Development Expert Specializing in Solving Male Sex Problems
 
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pinkpants78 responded:
Your husband loves you so much and he doesn't want to cause you pain. Stress and some psychological issues may also triggered his inability to perform. Most guys with bedroom issues use ED pills and they were very successful with it

(http://www.shakyankles.com/health-articles/pde5-inhibitor-drugs-what-are-they.html) ...
HOwever, remember that he must be first have an interest to have intercourse with you or else nothing will work at all.. Goodluck


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