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Unusual ED problem
gbajabiamila094 posted:
Does anyone know why when I sleep with a new girl for the first time I always, and I mean always have ED issues but after I have slept with them a few times I never have ED issues again.

Every girlfriend I have ever had the very first time we try having sex I have major ED issues. I will be erect while we are making out and then as soon as we take the clothes off to get to it, I lose my erection. This has happened with every single girlfriend I have ever had.

But after we manage to have sex a few times together I never have this problem ever again, I can maintain an erection no problem. It is almost like a psychological thing with every new girl.

Does anyone have any experience with this? I also seem to have a physical problem though. If I go from laying down to standing up, or vice versa, my erection seems to go away. I was making out laying down on the couch the other day with my girlfriend for an hour straight and I had an erection the entire time. As soon as we stood up to move to the bedroom, my erection went away almost immediately, like within 10 seconds.

stevesmw responded:
You answered your own question. You have performance anxiety.

When you get in bed take your time. Do whatever you were doing before for a while until your erection returns.
A couple should be able to make love without a penis. When the penis becomes less important there is less stress.

I had the opposite problem. I would get so aroused that I would have PE issues. When my girlfriend was open to receiving oral sex or manual stimulation, my arousal state would be allowed to go from 11 to 7 and intercourse was possible.
gbajabiamila094 replied to stevesmw's response:
Yes I suppose I do have performance anxiety. Which makes sense considering after I get comfortable with the girl I never have an erection problem again. But why would I have a performance anxiety in the first place? Obviously not every guy has this problem. Most probably don't. There are plenty of guys that can sleep with a new girl every week with no problems, so what are the most common causes of performance anxiety for guys?
stevesmw replied to gbajabiamila094's response:
Some men think about their pleasure. Nothing to worry about.
If you are thinking your partner's pleasure and what the think of you as a lover, it can cause anxiety.

You find someone you like and you are looking for more than a one night stand and your partner didn't enjoy your love making.
You lasted too long or not long enough. Something you did upset your partner. Lots of things to worry about.

Your penis doesn't get performance anxiety it is your brain.
jacqui_olliver responded:
As long as you are focused on enjoying the feelings in your penis, you will stay erect. When you move off the couch to go to the bedroom, your mind is now focused on co-ordinating other tasks - which is why you lose the erection.

When you sleep with a new girl for the first time, it is likely you are more concerned with getting it right and spending less time enjoying the feelings in your penis (which is what you need to do to get hard.) As you become more relaxed with her, your mind 'switches' to enjoying the feelings in your penis.
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alantewks replied to jacqui_olliver's response:
Maybe you have body image problems. Maybe you are uncomfortable getting naked in front of a girl/woman for the first time because you don't think your body is perfect.

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well 1st im bi, 2nd im only 13,and 3rd I would feel better if only men responded to my questions.

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