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Porn Addiction or not ?????
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An_208335 posted:
Okay, the back ground is we have had a 5 year relationship. We talk we cuddle and but we don't have a lot of sex. We never did. I am always up for a good time head ace or not and I am willing to do just about anything to make him happy. I want it every day sometimes twice a day hell maybe three. He wants it once every few weeks. So I had a problem with that in the beging but soon worked it out and chalked it up to we have different sex drives. I have been dealing with it the best I can but I get my feelings hurt when he has a hard one from me laying beside him but refuses my advances. I had a reality check a few weeks ago when I discovered he had been to a few porn sites.( I am not against porn at all!) But watching his behavior on the net over the last few weeks I have noticed he is masturbating every day and yes sometimes twice a day. But refusing me!!!!! GRRRRR!!!! I am a pretty women I have a few extra pounds to lose but really why is he hurting me like this when he knows it hurts?
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rest2010 responded:
Time to act out. Don't wait for his erection, make him have one. Blindfold him, ask him his fantasy, and act it out. Try dressing up or not.

Have fun.
 
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mchawkins53 replied to rest2010's response:
LOL.... Tried it he plain out refuses me in every way! I had to make him an offer the other day (because it had been 3 weeks) to give him 3 BJ's for 1 sexual encounter. LOL He took the deal.... but man the BJ's dont do anything but work me up and he is only being very one way on the subject. I did talk to him aout it but he just says work is stressing him and he is unhappy with his job. This no sex issue has been going on for much longer than the job issues. I don't know what to do he likes his porn/ hand and not me
 
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GuardSquealer replied to mchawkins53's response:
Sounds like time for a new relationship with someone else.
 
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rest2010 replied to mchawkins53's response:
Find out what his fantasy really is. Don't ask him or you will get a wrong answer just to pass you on. He may be aroused by something you may not approve of, and this gives him more arousal than 'just same old sex'.
There are variations (maybe considered perversion) to sex on the internet and men are aroused by these acts and even though the female/male participant is acting, the viewer still gets turned on and will consumate with his hand while watching.
Good luck.
 
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bandera69 responded:
Porn is Addiction! if you watching porno to mastrubate or havin sex with wife or hasbent, you are cheeting on your lover in your hart,i dont think wen you do,you think about your wife or hasbent and that is SIN! you imagin gays or girls from TV,not your spouse. and mastrubation SIN too...chek your hart!
 
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fcl replied to bandera69's response:
And you, bandera69, might do well to check your spelling ...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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bandera69 replied to fcl's response:
Thanks FCL, tray do best.
 
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amillercm responded:
I'm kind of going through the same thing. My husband always complains about being tired so we hardly ever have sex. He denies the porn thing but other people have brought it to my intention and I've asked him but he knows how much it bothers me so he denies it. We're trying to have a baby so when we do have sex its on a schedule and there is no passion or much affection. Its all business.
 
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FMYSELF responded:
WOW, I wish my woman was like you.. I would say move on.. for some reason he must not like women anymore.
 
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An_208336 responded:
My husband sounds like yours. I put up with it for almost 7 years and then I couldn't stand it anymore. Found him masturbating in the shower a couple of times (sometimes right after he had rejected my advances).

I tried everything: Begging, not begging, dressed up, make up, lost a ton of weight, threesomes with hot girls, playing hard to get, not playing at all, ignoring him, treating him like a king, porno, no porno, blow jobs. You name it - I tried it. (Even marriage counseling for a year.)

I gave up and cheated on him. He gets his pleasure in the shower by himself, I get mine with somebody who gives a damn.

Other than our sex drives being on a different page - everything else is great.

(I know some will be upset with me...but whatever...this is my two cents...)

That said...I don't recommend cheating. (Pot calling the kettle black, right?) Just leave him if he's not willing to give you any. Men have left women for the same reason. If you guys don't have any kiddos together - I say it's time to move on. He will never change and your sex drive (depending on your age) might get even higher...while his stays the same. It's not worth it.

-Laura

P.S. I watch porn, too. It's not an addiction. He's just an a$$hole.
 
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An_208337 replied to bandera69's response:
I really don't think porn and masterbation are sins it is very normal to masterbate and porn is not that bad either. On another note An_118023 if you are not getting the attention you fully deserve but he can jerk off to porn that is wrong and It seems to me as there may be some other issues in your relationship he just doesn't want to talk to you about! JMO Have you tried watching porn with him or confronting him about it? I fully enjoy watching porn with my SO and sometimes feel as though it makes the love life a little more exciting. Like rest2010 said find out his fantasy and play it out maybe he won't say no. If he is still an a**hole after that maybe you need to move on and find someone who is interested in you! Again JMO!! Good luck!
 
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GAP1954 responded:
Life is too short to have this incompatibility. I find it surprising that the you want more than he does. For most men the porn and hands go together out of frustration and not choice.
 
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HelloGo responded:
I'm actually going through the same problem with my long-term partner. I found out he watches porn online while our sex life is almost absent and he often refuses my advances. I confronted him about it and he said that the porn watching has nothing to do with our relationship, that he does it out of curiosity. I personally don't think porn is such a bad thing, what's bad is being so secretive. I have tried talking to him, let him know I'm open to trying new things but nothing seems to work. He repeatedly lies about watching porn or liking to watch it AND also avoids the sex topic. It's like talking to a wall. I'm very in love, we've been together for 3 years and recently moved in together but this sex issue has been going on for a couple of years now and I'm getting really tired of trying without any results.
My opinion... you're going to make yourself unhappy by giving and giving and not get anything back. Be selfish and do what you have to do to be happy.
 
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jackja replied to An_208336's response:
wow... i wish my wife would watch porno with me, and take threesomes thats hot...she is really good in bed though, i think your husband maybe had some sort of confidence issues...


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