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    Custody
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    gracesmom09 posted:
    My daughter is 11 months right now her dad and I do not have any formal arrangement set up. This is something I am going to start working on. So what arrangment do you all have with your childs father? Every other weekend? A couple nights a week? Please share your experiences!
    Reply
     
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    TheDeepBlue responded:
    When my husband I divorced, we both wanted to have our daughter all of the time, so it was hard. But we did come to an agreement rather peacefully.

    He works night shift, so he is able to pick her up daily after school. She spends a couple hours each day with him. I swing by and pick her up when I get off of work about 6pm. She spends every weeknight with me.
    We switch off weekends. Every other weekend he has her from Friday after school till Sunday about dinner time.
    One other thing is that on Wednedsay evenings, she stays with him till 8:30pm, which is my weekly "date night" with the boyfriend. We live together but our lives are hectic, so we literally have to make it a priority. And it is such a great mid week thing to do.
    Sounds complicated I know, but it works for us :-)
     
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    butterfly19790424 responded:
    My daughters father gets her every other Saturday from 10am until 6pm or 7pm. He has to work early on Sunday mornings, she doesnt get overnight visits. He also works late Friday nights. I wish he wanted to get her more, but right now I don't push the issue. I discussed the option of him spending time with her all day Wednesdays (his day off) but his new girlfriend wants to have a day without kids since that's her day off, too. I know thats a poor excuse, but what can I do?
     
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    An_208187 responded:
    I would talk it over with your daughters father. Come to an agreement on what you would like to do for visitation and then have it notorized. This way you are both covered if there is a disagreement or confusion. I personally do not have anything formal set up as my daughters father is not around much if at all. But going by what I have seen with friends and family agreeing on things outside of court will work out best in the long run so no one feels like they are getting the raw end of the deal.
     
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    PrincessNYC responded:
    Its good that you and your child's father is interesting in working this through when your child is young. My DC is 3 and has yet to meet my "sperm donor." I cannot bare to use reference him as "father" or "dad" since he hasn't been.

    Good luck in the arrangements you decide.
     
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    Zaysmama responded:
    my son is almost 2 and his Sperm Donor had a court order for visitation and after about three months, decided he had more important things to do. Now he tells everyone that my DS isn't even his but will still call or text me randomly trying to see him. I dont allow it.

    He had more than enough chances. He was in his life until he was 3months, then disappeared for a few months, begged his way back, i allowed him another chance, he walked out again at 10 months and then got court ordered visitation 1 day a week when my DS was 13 months. Now, Sperm Donor hasn't seen him since he was 16 months old. Sunday he will be 2 years!...

    Make sure you keep track of the visits he does have and the ones he cancels just in case! Hope it works out better for you than it has for me and my DS!!!


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