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blending 2 single parents long distance
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ohiodad posted:
New to this but I'll try my best. I'm a divorced father of 3 girls. Last year a long lost love and I reconnected over the internet. We live 300 miles apart. We talk none stop for the past 10 months. I am in love with this woman and she expresses the same. Now she has 3 kids herself. She wants to move down and start a life together. I have talked to my kids and the are excited about the idea, hers are not which I understand. She is worried about it making her a bad mom. She has nothing in her area, no family and all her friends are originally of her ex. The father of her older too is in jail for abuse of his recent gf and the ex is the father of the youngest but he is a good dad. She feels if she moves down here she should let him have custody of the youngest but I know she can't go without her. She already tried it once moving a couple states away in with family and starting a new life well working but it was too hard on her being away from her youngest. She's afraid if she brings the youngest too, the ex will make it ugly in court. She said he can get vindictive....now what can I do? What advice can I give? Should I step away and hope things change down the road? The ex is wanted in Indiana....I love this woman, she is the last thought on my mind before I fall asleep and the first when I get up. We share around 250 txt a day on our slow days...many times more than that. We have damn near everything in common. Sex....full of passion. We both get each others jokes. She is also worried about her oldest. He's the only boy and going through a rough time at school. He's a great kid and honest, just has made some bad mistakes like we all well most of us around his age 12/13. He and I have wild conversations too. Im an engineer and he is creative. But the ex is the only real male role model the boy has ever had. She's worried she will mess him up moving him and changing everything on him at this age too. I want to do the right thing here.....should I wait.....should I let her go for the sake of the kids....should I encourage her that we'll work together on raising the kids together? Please say option 3 but I love her too much to be selfish here. That's why im here for HELP!!!

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  • wait for the woman of your dreams no matter how long it may be
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hefoster responded:
I don't agree with any of the options above. Let her wait until the time is right. It sounds like she has way too much going on in her life to create another issue for her family who is obviously still adjusting to their current life. Family should come first for both of you because after all blood is thicker than water. If she moves and it doesnt work out in any shape or form you will be made the bad guy. This doesn't mean your relationship has to end either. You've waited this long why not a little longer to ensure everything will go as well as possible for everyone. Why don't you move to where she is ?
 
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ohiodad replied to hefoster's response:
I have thought about moving there but she said no. She wants to move away from there for other reasons is how she worded it. Plus I have my kids here and I have 50/50 shared custody with the ex. Not much has changed....she and I still talk throughout the day, every day.


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