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4yr old visiting (never before met) dad
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MerCabre posted:
I've just recently explained to my 4yr old daughter who he is, more so because she is now being questioned by other kids or public without my presence. She began questioning me and a little emotional about it. He was there for a year but got in trouble with the law and got 5yrs (he has 2/3 left) so this lead to her not knowing him at all. I explained she does have a father but he is just not here at the moment because he didn't follow rules and got in trouble thus leading to the police taking him to jail/tim out. She understood. I've always been against ever taking my child to see or meet him under those circumstances but anyones points of view on this particular subject would help to clear my cluttered thoughts.
2 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:4yr old visiting (never before met) dadI've just recently explained to my 4yr old daughter who he is, more so because she is now being questioned by other kids or public without my presence. She began questioning me and a little emotional about it. He was there for a year but got in trouble with the law and got 5yrs (he has 2/3 left) so this lead to her not knowing him at all. I explained she does have a father but he is just not here at the moment because he didn't follow rules and got in trouble thus leading to the police taking him to jail/tim out. She understood. I've always been against ever taking my child to see or meet him under those circumstances but anyones points of view on this particular subject would help to clear my cluttered thoughts.
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RoseLynn02 responded:
Wow, umm...that's a tough one dear. I think it more depends on how strongly you would prefer her not to see him like this & how strongly she does want to see him.I think you really have to weight the two & see which one come out to be more important for you. She could always see him once he is out, assuming you allow her to. & there are other options then taking her there. You could except his calls so she could attempt to talk to him & have a verbal relationship. You could ask him to write her letters & send her drawings he makes & pictures of himself (they are appropriate for kids to see and don't show the hardships of prison & in most cases are taken on the yard) & have her draw pictures for him & send him pics of her (if you're comfortable doing so) & write him letters telling him what has been going on with her so he knows what to say to her. Anyway, if you're dead set against bringing her there (& who could blame you,really) there are alternatives that would still allow her to have some form of a relationship with him so she could get to know him a little bit before he gets out, & I think that finding some way to do that is important especially if you plan on allowing him to be a part of her life when he is released. Also, you might want to consider going to see him by yourself to physically see if you would be comfortable bringing your DD there prior to actually doing so. Hope that helps. I wish you luck. & I know you will figure out what is right for you & her. Let me know what you decide.
Report This| Share this:4yr old visiting (never before met) dadWow, umm...that's a tough one dear. I think it more depends on how strongly you would prefer her not to see him like this & how strongly she does want to see him.I think you really have to weight the two & see which one come out to be more important for you. She could always see him once he is out, assuming you allow her to. & there are other options then taking her there. You could except his calls so she could attempt to talk to him & have a verbal relationship. You could ask him to write her letters & send her drawings he makes & pictures of himself (they are appropriate for kids to see and don't show the hardships of prison & in most cases are taken on the yard) & have her draw pictures for him & send him pics of her (if you're comfortable doing so) & write him letters telling him what has been going on with her so he knows what to say to her. Anyway, if you're dead set against bringing her there (& who could blame you,really) there are alternatives that would still allow her to have some form of a relationship with him so she could get to know him a little bit before he gets out, & I think that finding some way to do that is important especially if you plan on allowing him to be a part of her life when he is released. Also, you might want to consider going to see him by yourself to physically see if you would be comfortable bringing your DD there prior to actually doing so. Hope that helps. I wish you luck. & I know you will figure out what is right for you & her. Let me know what you decide.
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RoseLynn02 responded:
Did you ever decide what you wanted to do? I hope so. I know this is a very complicated issue.
Report This| Share this:4yr old visiting (never before met) dadDid you ever decide what you wanted to do? I hope so. I know this is a very complicated issue.
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