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FRUSTRATED!
akrok1984 posted:
Why is it that the parent who isn't involved in their child's life, always thinks that they are entitled to everything under the sun? He doesn't pay child support, doesn't help out with diapers, and then he calls me while I am pregnant with our 2nd baby, asking me questions about what he should tell his new girlfriend that he "accidentally" got pregnant as well. He is worthless!!!
And just a little backround so nobody thinks that i got pregnant by just any guy. we were together for over 2 yrs before our first baby; she is now 2yrs 9 months old. 2 months after I had our little girl, he proposed to me and i said yes. About a year later I was pregnant again with another girl who is now 9 months old. we ended splitting up during that pregnancy and he ended up getting his now girlfriend pregnant 3 months later.
Now our 2.5 yr old is starting to notice that all the other kids around her have a mommy AND a daddy, so she has been asking me non-stop "where is my daddy?" She even called out for daddy when she was upset with me the other day. I know not to talk bad about him to her or in front of her, but seriously i wish we could just act like he doesn't even exist. Like he said, we are "out of sight, out of mind." He needs to be too.
And just a little backround so nobody thinks that i got pregnant by just any guy. we were together for over 2 yrs before our first baby; she is now 2yrs 9 months old. 2 months after I had our little girl, he proposed to me and i said yes. About a year later I was pregnant again with another girl who is now 9 months old. we ended splitting up during that pregnancy and he ended up getting his now girlfriend pregnant 3 months later.
Now our 2.5 yr old is starting to notice that all the other kids around her have a mommy AND a daddy, so she has been asking me non-stop "where is my daddy?" She even called out for daddy when she was upset with me the other day. I know not to talk bad about him to her or in front of her, but seriously i wish we could just act like he doesn't even exist. Like he said, we are "out of sight, out of mind." He needs to be too.
3 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:FRUSTRATED!Why is it that the parent who isn't involved in their child's life, always thinks that they are entitled to everything under the sun? He doesn't pay child support, doesn't help out with diapers, and then he calls me while I am pregnant with our 2nd baby, asking me questions about what he should tell his new girlfriend that he "accidentally" got pregnant as well. He is worthless!!! <br />And just a little backround so nobody thinks that i got pregnant by just any guy. we were together for over 2 yrs before our first baby; she is now 2yrs 9 months old. 2 months after I had our little girl, he proposed to me and i said yes. About a year later I was pregnant again with another girl who is now 9 months old. we ended splitting up during that pregnancy and he ended up getting his now girlfriend pregnant 3 months later.<br />Now our 2.5 yr old is starting to notice that all the other kids around her have a mommy AND a daddy, so she has been asking me non-stop "where is my daddy?" She even called out for daddy when she was upset with me the other day. I know not to talk bad about him to her or in front of her, but seriously i wish we could just act like he doesn't even exist. Like he said, we are "out of sight, out of mind." He needs to be too.
RoseLynn02 responded:
Oooohhh! I would be so frustrated too. I completely agree with your feelings there. I don't know all the details obviously, but still he doesn't seem like the nicest or most respectful or even really that considerate even. Sorry akrok1984. Is he even involved with the your girls at all? Why don't you take him to court for child support or even try to strip his rights if he is completely non-involved anyway? Have you had "the daddy talk" DD #1 yet? Don't worry, once she is old enough to understand & see things for what the really are herself she will be ok. I do wish you luck.
Report This| Share this:FRUSTRATED!Oooohhh! I would be so frustrated too. I completely agree with your feelings there. I don't know all the details obviously, but still he doesn't seem like the nicest or most respectful or even really that considerate even. Sorry akrok1984. Is he even involved with the your girls at all? Why don't you take him to court for child support or even try to strip his rights if he is completely non-involved anyway? Have you had "the daddy talk" DD #1 yet? Don't worry, once she is old enough to understand & see things for what the really are herself she will be ok. I do wish you luck.
poorchanny replied to RoseLynn02's response:
the hard part that Im having is that my husband of 16 years has decided for the 1st time to be a daddy and the other part is that they are teenagers and he was having an affair right under mine and my childrens noses, hes sick, but he also wants me to get mad and tell the kids the affair hes having....im so lost and my feeling are so hurt I truly dont know how to handle this. Im trying to be the bigger parent but all I wanna do is run his name and his families name threw the mud, where it belongs... I hate divorce...
Report This| Share this:FRUSTRATED!the hard part that Im having is that my husband of 16 years has decided for the 1st time to be a daddy and the other part is that they are teenagers and he was having an affair right under mine and my childrens noses, hes sick, but he also wants me to get mad and tell the kids the affair hes having....im so lost and my feeling are so hurt I truly dont know how to handle this. Im trying to be the bigger parent but all I wanna do is run his name and his families name threw the mud, where it belongs... I hate divorce...
RoseLynn02 replied to poorchanny's response:
I'm so sorry.I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of releasing him from telling the kids himself. They will resent you if you do I'm sure. Teenagers are so emotional & unpredictable as it is. I would just tell them that Daddy loves them & you love them, but that your not in love with each other anymore. I would tell them you have love for him because he is their dad, but that's it at the moment. Then I would tell the kids that you don't wish to discuss it any further at the moment, but if they have any questions you will answer them the best you can or send them to their dad for the answers you don't know how to give. As far as him not acting like a dad thus far, but now after he has F-ed up wanting to start being a father, well that sucks but it's ultimately up to the kids on whether they are ok with that or not. If you make they choice for them it will only turn them against you. They are old enough to make the choice themselves at this point(not all choice,but to want to have a relationship w/ their dad yeah) & to see things for what they really are on their own. I wish you the best & I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
Report This| Share this:FRUSTRATED!I'm so sorry.I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of releasing him from telling the kids himself. They will resent you if you do I'm sure. Teenagers are so emotional & unpredictable as it is. I would just tell them that Daddy loves them & you love them, but that your not in love with each other anymore. I would tell them you have love for him because he is their dad, but that's it at the moment. Then I would tell the kids that you don't wish to discuss it any further at the moment, but if they have any questions you will answer them the best you can or send them to their dad for the answers you don't know how to give. As far as him not acting like a dad thus far, but now after he has F-ed up wanting to start being a father, well that sucks but it's ultimately up to the kids on whether they are ok with that or not. If you make they choice for them it will only turn them against you. They are old enough to make the choice themselves at this point(not all choice,but to want to have a relationship w/ their dad yeah) & to see things for what they really are on their own. I wish you the best & I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
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