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It Hurts So Bad
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JustMargo posted:
My ex- boyfriend and I have been broken up for about two months now. My heart is still broken, because I'm still in love with him. We have kids together, and we been through a lot in our relationship. He cheated on me multiple times, and I stayed with him. I loved him that's why I never left him, because I forgave him. He changed on me after our second child. He started being mean to me for no reason at all. All I did was love him. My friends got mad at me, because they said I looked like a fool letting him treat me so bad. But, I loved him, and I still do. We broke up, because he said he wasn't ready to settle down. It hurt me, because he decides this after three kids, and after so many years. I know I can do better than that, it just hurts. I didn't deserve that, and I'm trying to figure out why I got hurt so bad like that. I know I'm not perfect, but I was good to him. I thought I was getting a little better, but we work together and everytime I see him a piece of my heart breaks into pieces all over again. I don't want to be with him anymore I just still love him. It's painful when you love someone who treats you so bad. Some of my friends think I'm stupid for still loving him, but I can't help it. I've been with him half of my life. And in one instant my world just crumbled around me. The kids stay with me, and every since we broke up he doesn't come to see them anymore and they think its something I did. I will never say anything bad about their father to them. I just don't know what to tell them, and I don't know how to take the pain of them blaming me for him leaving.
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Proud_Mommy23 responded:
Hey Margo. My situation is a little similar to yours except mine contains abuse. My ex and I were together for almost 8 years and we have 2 children together, ages 3 and 8 months. We've been through so much together from him cheating on me to almost getting married, I really was happy with him. However, he has had his problems with drugs and now he's in jail for trafficking and posession which didn't surprise me one bit. Anyway, about 2 months ago we got into a heated arugment I don't even remember what over but it resulted in him beating the heck out of me. Of course I kicked him out and had all intentions of letting him see the children but now he's in jail. His mom pays his child support 2 times a month which helps. But I just recently moved into a house that I really can't afford by myself and now that he's gone my dad has been helping me afford it because I don't want to move back home. It's hard being on your own and I cry every day because I still love him but I have to understand that my kids are better off without him. I grew up in an abusive household and I don't want that for my kids so it's better off this way. Hold your head high mama because you are all your kids have and they need you more than ever. My little boy (3) asks me constantly if daddy is coming home or where he's at and I'm at a loss for words. I don't know what to tell him and it hurts me when he asks those questions because he's so confused and mommy doesn't have the answer. I'm sorry I don't really have any advice for you but I want to let you know that you're not the only one out there.
 
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MER16 replied to Proud_Mommy23's response:
To Margo and Proud_mommy 23,
i just joined this discussion but, my story is similar to Proud_Mommy 23 where I was 5 months pregnant and my now ex boyfriend for almost 2 years physically and mentally abused me while i was pregnant. I was with him for 10 years and he always said that he wanted a baby and when i finally got pregnant he said he didnt want the baby and told me to get rid of him. Which of course i didnt and his reasoning was he was not ready to be a father financially and what is so frustrating he does not realize his son needs him emotionally. i did not bother to take him to child support because i dont want to be bothered with the father plus he does not have a steady job. My struggle now is to place my son in pre-school and i cant really afford it, plus i have a mortgage i pay on my own as well. i just want to say to both of you its okay to still love the man but, think about your children first. Its not an easy road but, it will get better. Keep the faith and keep your heads up God is in your side and he will make a way. Most of all dont ever be too proud to ask for help.


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