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PLEASE I NEED ADVICE!!!! Falling asleep withour realizing it
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An_242531 posted:
Here is my background. 36 yr old mother of 4 children ranging in ages from 11 -2. I am a stay at home mom and homeschool the 9 year old. I don't smoke don't drink and am not overweight at all. I am not depressed or anxious. I usually get up around 7am and I go to bed anytime from 12 am or 12:30 sometimes it can be later. I do try to get in a little 15-20 min nap when I can. I do not have trouble falling asleep, i get plenty of exercise and I eat heathy. But I fall asleep randomly alot when I am sitting still and often I do not reaize I have fallen asleep until my husband wakes me up.This can happen freuqently( like 5 or 6 times) in the course of a few minutes. I will just be sitting there and all of a sudden I will hear him say "wake up" I won't know if I fell asleep unless the tv show is over and then i realize I missed the end. I went to the dr. to ask him if it was a sleep disorder and he told me to go to bed at 9pm (impossible when I have 4 kids and a night owl husband). So hw sent me home with a prescripttion for ambien and dismissed my ideas of a sleep disorder. Grr! I took ambien a ocuple of times and hated the way I felt in the morning after tkaing it and forget it if one of the kids wakes me up in the night, I felt out of it and dizzy and could hardly see to their needs.

Oh yeah and ambein kicks in like within 10 minutes of taking it so I have to be ready to go to sleep for the night. I do not like ambien and feel like it does not address my issues of the randomly falling asleep. I don't feel constantly tired . . Oh yeah and it drives my dh nuts to look over and see me fast asleep when he thoought I was awake. . .
My problem is this--the oldest child goes to bed at 10pm so if I went to bed at 10:30 or 11pm my dh and I get 1 hour or less of child free time together.... which is why I try to stay up unitl midnight or later . . .but my husband is getting fed up with my randomly falling asleep. Oh yeah and I live in a small town where there are only a couple of dr.s who take my insurance. Please . . . .advice!!!!! I have no one I really feel will understand the issue and my dr.brushed me off I do not know what to do and it is taking a toll on my marriage of 15 years.
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
I'm sorry that this is impacting your marriage and that your husband isn't understanding that you're not doing this on purpose and that you may simply just need the rest.

I'm not an expert and I hope that others here will have some ideas for you. It really may be that you're simply not getting enough sleep at night. I understand the need to have quality time with your husband but perhaps try going to bed/sleep at 10:00 p.m. for a while to see if that improves the sleep issues during the day. Whether that helps or not could be something that could be then taken to your doctor to push for more answers.

Or do you ever have an opportunity to take a short nap during the day, while any children nap and/or do homework?

Are you falling asleep when you're driving or doing anything else?
 
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scperdomo responded:
I'm not an expert either but it sounds like you need to have a sleep study done.

You're averaging what? 5 - 6 hrs of sleep per night? It could be a sleep disorder or your body is telling you that it needs more rest!

You say it is impossible to get to bed earlier with 4 kids and a night owl husband. My husband is also the night owl type and wont go to bed until midnight or later and in order to be up with him once the kiddo went to bed (which sometimes didnt happen until 10pm!), I did too, until I started dozing at work. I was always tired!

I got tired of being tired and tired of trying to "keep up" with him and informed him that I would be going to bed earlier and if he wanted to spend more time with me than he needed to help me get DS to bed earlier.

Why is your 11 yr old staying up so late? I would enforce an earlier bed time, at least 9pm during the week (but that is just me).

You can't run yourself into the ground or you will break down and won't be able to function. Your husband may not like that you are randomly falling asleep, but rather than get upset with you, he should be concerned that there might be an underlying issue and be a little more supportive in your quest to find out whats wrong.

Once I "layed down the law" with my DH, our son now goes to bed sooner, we get more "adult time" and I still get to bed at a reasonable hour.

Good luck mama, I hope you get things figured out!!!
 
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lcs123 replied to scperdomo's response:
It's definitely because you need more sleep, though I'm not a doctor either. Some people just need more sleep than others.

I have the same exact problem with the husband who will not go to bed earlier than 12. If I go to bed earlier, he just wakes me up whenever he does come to bed and then I get upset and have trouble getting back to sleep.

My little boy gets up between 5-6:30 and both he and my daughter get up during the night here and there. So, I get to bed late and sometimes end up with five hours of periodically interruped sleep. When he was under one, it was often even less. The lack of sleep causes all sorts of problems with me functioning.

I'm also a sahm and have also have found myself alseep out of nowhere. Once I only knew it bc my daughter apparently took a video of me with my phone and I found it weeks later. So, who knows how often that may have happend. How dangerous with two little ones running around!

When I make a point of going to bed really early and demanding not to be awakend, ie husband sleeps on couch (which I always said I would never want), I feel like a superhero the next day - even getting the whole house cleaned and being able to do something like paint a door or some project.

I guess my point is that I feel your pain and I suggest you try to get more sleep for a few nights even if the house is a mess. That way, you can rule out sleep deprivation if you still have the problem after getting some rest.

Good luck to you!
 
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chatley64 responded:
Dear, dear, dear,
Yes, you need sleep and you also need time with your hubby. You didn't say how old your children are. Are they teenagers, grade school, toddlers, all age ranges? I am not an expert either, but this is what worked for me. When my children were younger, as in grade school and below, bedtime was 8 - 8:30 pm. When they were in jr. high and above, bedtime was 10 pm. We would head to bed not too long afterwards. If your children are in the teenage category, they are old enough to understand that mom and dad need alone time. Of course, my husband and I had a t.v. in our bedroom this way we could go to bed early, cuddle, talk, watch t.v. or whatever. This way you can go to bed early ... you have to have sleep. Hubby will not be waking you up, surely, not if you are falling asleep and not waking up in the middle of activities. Most people need more that 5-6 hours of sleep. I wish you the best of luck!
 
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chatley64 replied to chatley64's response:
Sorry, I don't know how I missed the age range of the children. They are at ages that they need to be asleep before 10 pm. This should be easy for you to deal with.
 
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RSL3007 responded:
Just my 2 cents, but maybe your husband could take over the kids for a few hours each eve, and you could get some rest. Or maybe he could try harder to accomodate your needs a little better and not be too much of a "night owl" in order for the 2 of you to have more time together. It worked for my wife and myself.
 
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chatley64 replied to RSL3007's response:
RSL3007,
Now all the ladies are going to want to know where more men, like yourself, are congregating. LOL
 
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pkickham123 responded:
Help me pleaes!!!

I have the exact symptoms. Your explaition describes me to a tee...

"I fall asleep randomly alot when I am sitting still and often I do not reaize I have fallen asleep until my husband wakes me up.This can happen freuqently( like 5 or 6 times) in the course of a few minutes. I will just be sitting there and all of a sudden I will hear him say "wake up" I won't know if I fell asleep unless the tv show is over and then i realize I missed the end."

I am a little afraid that even my driving has been affected... a moment of dosing off at a stop light or during a long, or boring drive.

I am concerned about it being mini strokes. My grandfather use to do the same thing.
 
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123pinkrabbit replied to pkickham123's response:
Ask your husband if you snore at night, and if you do go to a neurologist who specializes in sleep disorders. Also what time do you go to bed? Do you wake up in the middle of the night? These are all questions you should ask yourself and if you feel your day time sleepiness is effecting your life DO NOT let your doctor blow you off and make him/her listen to you, and if they do not get a second opinion.
 
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pkickham123 replied to 123pinkrabbit's response:
Thanks for your reply. I think I am going to get the sleep testing done. That seems to be the concensus on this topic.


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