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    Sexsomnia affects in the bed
    An_250483 posted:
    My fiance is a sexsomniac. At first I thought he was awake, masturbating. I was aroused by this and tried to respond to him sexually. He woke up with a start and asked me what I was doing. This is very confusing. But I am convinced after reading as much as I could find online about the topic that he is really asleep. One thing that seems to be unique to my lover is that he doesn't only do it at certain times. Since I first became aware of it he does it every night, all night long and rarely climaxes. Another oddity is that he denies it. He thinks I'm crazy becausehe has absolutely no recollection of it. Sometimes he says he has bad dreams that are totally non-sexual (which he describes to me) that were occurring simultaneously with masturbation. He only masturbates. There isn't any aggressive sexual behavior or touching as others have described. Our sex life is super. We don't miss a day and it is always "successful" sex. But the frustrating part is that I share this intimate experience with him but since he doesn't remember it at all it seems like I'm delusional or lying. Has anyone ever filmed their partner to prove it to them? Is this a violation of his privacy? If he wakes up and I've got a camera rolling he will be furious! The masturbation itself doesn't bother me. I spend hours laying awake just watching him as I find it extremely pleasureable, but how can I communicate this to him when he adamantly denies any such possibility?
    jessicactd responded:
    My experience was somewhat different - my spouse is a sexsomniac, but always tries to go after me. He will back off if I ask, and usually wakes up if things progress to actual intercourse. (I try not to let it, for his sake, because it is very embarassing for him to wake up and not know how he got there.) It took him a while to admit that he had no memory of initiating sex, and he is now terrified that he will try something at the same time that our toddler wants to sleep in our bed. (I have delayed getting a big girl bed so far for this reason.)

    But, to your question - this may be a stupid idea, but have you tried waking him when you notice the behavior in progress? As with my spouse, perhaps he has to catch himself in the act to know that it is happening. I agree that filming him would be a privacy issue, and I would argue that watching him for your own pleasure might also be taking advantage of his condition. This is not a judgement. I've taken advantage before. Just a thought that you might want to consider.

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