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Husband does sexual things to me while I sleep?
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An_258007 posted:
For almost 6 months now, my husband has been touching me or trying to have sex with me in my sleep. It started when I was in the last couple months of my pregnancy. I would wake up and realize that my body had been tampered with or my underwear had been removed or sometimes I would wake up in the middle of him molesting me or having sex with me. I felt extremely violated and told him so and he apologized and said he would stop. However, it kept happening and he claimed to not remember doing it afterwards. It stopped for a while. A few weeks ago he started telling me that he would wake up and find himself touching me or on top of me and he would stop and go back to sleep. Our youngest is 3 months old an still doesn't sleep through the night so due to my exhaustion I don't wake up during these events. I woke up last night with my underwear around one ankle and found my husband completely naked and asleep. Judging by my pain, he had apparently tried to force his way in the back door while I was sleeping. He doesn't remember doing anything and feels badly about it, but I feel so violated and it's scary. Especially because I don't wake up so I have no idea what's been done to me while I was asleep. I don't want to go back to checking myself for clues in the morning again. What is wrong with him? Is it possible that he's actually doing these things on his sleep or is he lying to me? This is causing problems in our relationship, as I don't feel safe with him anymore.
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atti_editor responded:
There is a sleep disorder called sexsomnia (or sleep sex). It is not very common, but it is a real disorder in which the sufferer "can seem fully awake and aware, even as he or she is masturbating, or fondling, initiating intercourse with, or even sexually assaulting a bed partner. But he or she truly is asleep." Here is an article on sexsomnia as well as a blog from our sleep expert.

The above article offers some treatment options, but I think that it would be best to have your husband see a sleep specialist for diagnosis and treatment options. This is obviously effecting your marriage and it is important that you get this resolved, not only for your relationship but for your safety and peace of mind as well. Please let us know how you are doing!

Best wishes,
Atti


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