Substance Abuse Community

For years I have delt serious anxiety issues...off and on medication for it and being ok for a couple years with the meds...then they stop working...over time I just delt with the anxiety and depression with nothing no meds no drugs nothing. I have a huge history of alcoholism in my family both father and mothers sides. I have seen it kill family I was VERY close to and yet I have fallen into this addiction to mask..and get through the anxiety and deppression...yet I fall in to these days were i swear it would bring me to my knees if i opend a beer..I do anyways.i work midnights usually 10pm to 6am so yes in the am I usually drink a few to ease my anxiety and help me get to sleep...actually not usually I do every day. I don't knoow were to go for help I can't quit just like that...I want to get back on meds but I am affraid that if i get on meds then I will want to drink while on the meds then ill be worse off...my grandfather killed himself mixing pills and alcohol. my aunt attempted suicide because she was put on two meds that should not have been mixed...I am so scared and it brings me to tears. I am a hight school drop out...have a 3 and 4 year old and a daughter on the way. and I can't even be there for my kids like I need to be I want to go back to school but it adds so much more stress. My dream is to just provide my fiance and kids with a wonderful life and I know if i keep up with the way i am Ill eventually lose them. I went with out a dad my whole life I don''t want that for them...please I need some help