Substance Abuse Community

Hey everyone my name is mike. Im 21 almost 22 and have been smoking blunts since I was 17. I need some serious help and any advice or suggestions or any info for that matter will help me plenty. So I've never had a problem in my whole entire life meeting ppl and making friends. I was always naturally charming funny outgoing and very easy to talk to joke around with and to be friends with. I wouldn't have to try it just came naturally. I was always athletic a ladies man, had a very creative mind and was not so much book smart but very wise and had great advice about life experiences. Just hear me out I know I sound like im bragging a bit hut im not, I just want everyone to see im coming from...ok, so junior year going into senior year I was at my prime of my popularity and I had lots of friends which was a good thing plus a bad.bad because I had lots of friends who were into drugs and therefore had plenty of connects. I didn't have a set amount of weed I would smoke but I would say I would smoke on a weak day, ehh 5 blunts but on. A good day I would smoke about 20. oh and I almost forgot, my favorite way of smoking was to pile my car up with friends and we would drive in the backroads and bake the crap out of my car. So anyways, the first year or 2 goes by and everything fine I guess im still the same me but eventually I guess since I was always in a daze that I started to change from appearance to my personality to my thought process. I would eventually cut alll my friends off, i pretty much fell off the planet and started smoking with my best friend who rlly could hang and it would be me and him and occasionally his gf and her sister and smoke all day everyday. I just recently quit because about a month ago and its been a nightmare. Severe insomnia(as im typing its 4 in the morning ) and cravings to smoke and my brains real cloudy and is hazey. I quit because i finally noticed that i am not my self. I dont find anything exciting, im always depressed. I always have this blank look on my face and its even hard for me to put words together when i speak to ppl which leads to serious anxiety. Im always constantly thinking about what my old self would of done, or said in situations and i am always anxious for some reason. I cant stop my brain from thinking about 50 different things at once and it rlly is starting to effect my social life. I still have friends i can talk to but i can even tell that they don't call ir txt me as much. Now from going from the most popular kid everywhere i went to being who i am now is killing me an constantly leaving me to think about my old self and how i used to joke and talk and act but for somereason memory is even shot to bits and pieces now....i even contiplate about suicide cause its so bad...but the thing is I've only been smoking for 5 years and I've gotten this bad..would it happen to be be the fact that i smoked so much within those 5 years and the isolation of the 5 years from everyone betheproblem? And will i ever be my old self again? Please anybody out there answer me.