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Please help me:My drug addicted sibling
An_245524 posted:
I never thought my extremely smart, beautiful, and caring sister could turn into such a monster. In highschool she was involved in all sports and on the honor roll. We witnessed a terrible event my dad committed and were relocated away from him. We were the only people each other had. At our new school she eventually got into a fight with a her group of friends, and found comfort with the 'smokers' group. I knew she had been doing hard drugs since last June pure MDMA 'molly', cocaine, acid etc.. and smoking weed everyday. She was stealing money and pawning expensive misc. items from around the house. Her habit eventually made her turn into a drug dealer so she cold make money and smoke for free. And oh ya...she was only 17 at this time! I told my mom everything once I found out but my moms attitude is 'she's old enough to make decisions for herself'. In early april she was pulled over and arrested for dealing drugs in a school zone (now 18yrs old). My mom still has this attitude which just continuously enables my sister. I have a step-dad but he stays out of the drama and I don't blame him!

After the arrest I got my sister into a drug clinic where she attended classes. A couple weeks ago I noticed she was showing up at the house high again. Last week my mom told me two of her very expensive rings were missing. I could immediatley make the connection between my sister using and missing items once again, she had very poor hygene, and also radical mood swings. My mom has become extremley distressed and depressed over the situation. I confronted my sister that she needs to give it back. She FREAKED out, being extremely defensive (her effort to try and manipulate me). Tonight I went to my moms and noticed she is still terribly upset about the whole thing. So I went to my sisters room and rumaged around. Didn't find much besides a scale, an empty container of Dayquil, and some blunt wraps. I then went on her facebook messages to see if maybe she had talked to any friends about selling my moms rings. All I found was that she is back using pure MDMA (45$ a hit) and excessive amounts of acid and stated "the pawn shop is my favourite place'. When she got home she noticed that I had been on her stuff and FREAKED out again. I told her I had found 'all i needed to know' and that 'you wouldn't be so upset unless you were hiding something'. I felt bad leaving my mom to my sisters temper tantrum and that I ruined my moms day. But I honestly believe that my sister had invaded our privacy via stealing and had unearned our trust. I do not believe that she deserves her own privacy. She now is saying horrible things, threatening me and saying that she doesn't ever want to hear from me again even though we have always been the CLOSEST sisters pre-drug use. Her court date is June 13th : / Was I wrong for going through her stuff? What should I do about my mom? What do I do about this entire situation? Please help : (

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How do you treat a drug addicted sibling who is (was) all you had, but now is malicious and ruining the family?
  • Show her love she will get through it, it's just a phase
  • Do not talk to her, or offer her financial or emotional support
  • Only talk to her when needed (family events)
  • Keep your distance while offering support simultaneously
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Betty Ford Center
James Golden, MD responded:
Although you've tried hard to help, some lessons have to be learned alone. I suggest you take care and honor yourself by showing that you love your sister, but follow your stepfather's example: Don't get drawn into the drama caused by her disease of addiction. You can accomplish this by setting firm boundaries. In fact, the whole family may benefit by attending Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon can help those affected by any form of addiction, not just alcoholism.

It is possible to be there for her and tell her how you feel about what she is doing to herself and her family. Remember, she can argue with your opinions - but she can't argue with your feelings.
TDXSP08 responded:
Do not waste your time trying to apply logic to your Sisters actions and try not to invest emotionally in what happens with her in court she committed a crime knowingly and was just fine and dandy with it because of her addiction,so now she will have to live with the consequences of those actions should she decide to even appear in court,in many cases they will jump bond and live in the "underground " drug culture instead of getting a prison sentence /or a kind judge who would sentence them to rehab and community service. Let her know that you love her she is still a part of the family but do not leave her at one of you homes alone unsupervised do not give her Money of any kind,do not give her a ride in your vehicle if she has drugs on her she can throw them under the seat and deny they are hers in which case under law the registered owner or driver of the vehicle is then held for drug possesion you could be arrested for a Felony by being nice to your sibling and i'm not telling you worst case examples or blowing things out of proportion i have actually lived some of these very things when my wife became a drug addict.

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