Yes Caprice it has been so hot and humid i have been over indulging in iced tea and water and that means more diapers per day which means more laundry ( i use cloth ) which means more work for my Personal Care Aide, Vicious cycle- i know this is not the kind of problem drinking you where getting at but no one replied in two weeks so i thought i would.
I was in deep denial about my drinking. I've been drinking heavily since I was approximately 15 or 16 yrs old, and hard liqour not beer. My drink of choice was a bourban old fashion or a dirty martini. I've always looked older than my age and all my friends were considerably older than I was so when we went to bars I never got carded. My drinking progressed from tequila, vodka, gin, bourban, whiskey to wine, I figured it's just wine, nothing wrong with that. But I wasn't just a social drinker. I'd drink at home alone too and not just one glass of wine, but about 1-3 bottles of wine a day. I'm also bipolar and started taking meds in Dec. 2006 and shouldn't have been drinking, but I didn't care.
My fiance is the one that finally said enough is enough... Either I stop drinking or he would leave me. I brought this up to my psychiatrist. (btw, I also used to be a heavy pot smoker, all day everyday) He said that my drinking and smoking is what was hindering my recovery from my rapid cycling bipolar disorder. When he told me I had a substance abuse problem I started crying uncontrollably. I really never thought of my drinking as a problem. But my fiance reminded me that whenever I had an argument with a family member I'd immediately pick up a bottle of wine or smoke some tree. Also, whenever I was manic, depressed or just bored I would do the same thing. It took me 3 weeks after my psychiatrist and fiance told me I had a substance abuse problem for me to accept it.
I'm now on Antabuse. I've been taking it for 3 months. During the first week I did cheat and didn't take it for 2 days just so I could have one glass of wine with my pasta dinner. But I'm not gonna stop taking my antabuse anymore until the cravings go away completely. I've even had parties at my place that include large amounts of alcohol and I don't feel like I'm missing out anymore... so I know it's helping. I've been sober for a little over 3 months now. I am so proud of myself and so is my mom and fiance.
I hope I can stay sober for the rest of my life.... Actually, I know I can do it. For now it's with the help of medication but I don't see myself taking it for much longer.
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