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Includes Expert Content
Am I there Yet?!
eyesup posted:
For 5 years now I have been addicted to opiates.I started taking them due to severe back issues.I was perscribed Hydrocodone.At first I took it as perscribed.But one day my back was hurting really bad so I decided to take two of them.I started feeling the affects of the pills.And basically,I was right away hooked.I liked the way it made me feel.I have always had to fight addiction.Addiction runs in my family very strong.I previously had an addiction to cocaine.I beat that so I figured I could handle simple pills,and when I was ready to stop I would just stop.HA!Being addicted to opiates is very different.Over the years,I started taking more and more pills.One day I went to my doctor because I had run out of pills and was withdrawing severely.I couldnt tell him that,so I told him I was hurting really bad and needed something stronger.Well he fell for it.He put me on Fentanyl patches.Well I started chewing them and I really liked the way they made me feel.At first it was just 25mcg patches,but everytime I would run out of pills and patches,I would just go back to the doctor and tell him I needed stronger.Well, over time I was constantly running out of my medicine so I ended up getting a second doctor to perscribe them to me as well.I had to use a false name,but surprisingly it worked.I was getting 120 10/325 hydrocondone and 10 75mcg from 2 different doctors.And all of that wouldnt even last me two weeks.I could take up to 45 tabs of hydro and eat 3-4 patches in a single day.Up until yesterday.I have been wanting to quit for a long time.I have been through withdrawls so many times,I knew I couldnt go cold turkey.So I have been looking for a doctor that would see me for my addiction.I looked on the internet and found a doctor through called and was just completely honest with them about my situation and he agreed to see me.He perscribed me suboxone 8-2 films.I was really scared it wouldnt work.But I dont want to live like this anymore so I had to give it a try.I started taking the suboxone yesterday,and thank God they work.I dont feel any withdrawl symptoms and it helps with the cravings.I want nothing more than to be clean.I want my life back.I have lost so much because of this addiction.So please wish me luck and pray for me.I am on day 2.And God willing I will make it all the way to CLEAN! I welcome any questions or comments. I will be checking back in every few days to give updates.Wish me luck!
Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
Thank you for sharing your story and I hope you do come back with updates!

(Even though it's quiet in here in terms of posting, a lot of people read and may be encouraged.)
Betty Ford Center
Peter Przekop, DO, PhD responded:
It is important that you understand that you have taken a great step towards recovery. I hope that your goal is to have a brain/mind free of drugs.

I believe that you were treating pain with all of the addictions that you have mentioned. People do not alter their consciousness and maintain that alteration because it feels better to have a clear mind. They do so because the substance gives them a very temporary escape from pain. The manner in which the brain processes pain does not distinguish between, for example, emotional, social, or physical pain. Indeed, it is just pain, and we have a natural instinct to try to escape from it or relieve it. The next step is a clear mind that addresses the pain.

Good work and onward.

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