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Living with a dry drunk????
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Charms102 posted:
My husband of 20 years stopped drinking and smoking now for some 18 months. If he had continued to lead this lifestyle he would not have been dead. Life has not become a bed of roses, life actually was far better when he was drinking. Now he wants to have control over everything. Will not give me financial support, buys the groceries and tells me what to cook. Our relationship is so toxic and is effecting both of my two boys. Financially we can not afford to live in to separate houses. He seldom communicates with me, unless it is to tell me what a useless person I am and that no one likes me and I scare everyone with my anger. Yes I am anger, I never asked to lead a life like this, I can not move as when there was no money I tried to ensure that everything was all okay, and to provide for all, I hold down a very good job and am trying to get out of an overdraught situation so that I then can support myself and my two boys. He does not ever go out or socialise and if I am to say I am going out with friends, I am again dammed. He throws this up in my face all the time, even if it has been ages since I last went out, he will make it out as if it is yesterday. When I ask him to repay something that I had to buy, he will tell me that he gave the money back to me already. I try and zip my mouth to ensure that I do not flare up, but sometimes it is so difficult and I can not control myself or my anger. I am so very angry and know this, but the site of him, and his behaviour and his manipulation drives me crazy. I asked him last night to support his son's career goal, and he turned around and told me he did not have the money. a normal family husband and wife would talk about things and discuss things but not in this family. Everything I have tried to instill, boundaries, disciipline, etiquette, television, etc, he will not work with me and continues to stick his horns into the ground and will not move. I am at this time of my life, at a point of giving up completly and find there is actually only one way out of this situation and it is only my two boys that keep me from not ending this all. We have been to councelling previously, and he is very good at manipulating so at the end of the day, people look at us and think whats the problem, the problem, must be me, as he so commonly tells me on a daily basis........
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