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Kofie posted:
She did not understand the reason I didn't come to the baby shower. She was very upset with me and that I am selfish. It is not at all that I am selfish, it is painful for me to go to the shower. I really thought she would have understood after all the times she told me that she respected my feelings.

Oh well the damage is done now and I can only hope that she will come back around.
ninjarbaby responded:
wow...i cannot believe she didn't understand why, even though she asked you in the first place if it was ok for her to invite you. that just really hurts my brain. you should NOT feel bad about it and you are NOT selfish. if anything, she was the selfish one. if she was really respectful of your feelings, she would've understood. i'm sure she'll come around sooner of later. but you should not feel bad or guilty about not going.

kitvond responded:
Ugh :( I'm sorry. That just sucks. Hopefully you can just chalk it up to her being pregnant and hormonal (not that that's an excuse!!).

I agree with Jane though, there's no reason for YOU to feel guilty. (((Hugs))) Sorry people suck!!
xzsublime84zx responded:
Shes just being a brat. im sure she will get over it. sorry she changed her mind on respecting your feelings :(
Kofie responded:
Thanks everyone! I even offered to take a vacation day and come and spend the whole day with her.

To make matters mom says to me, "You need to get over it and accept the fact that you can't have children and move on."

Then it gets better DH says, "that was rude of you not to go she is one of your closest friends, I don't understand why it bothers you so much."

My dad was the only person who said that he didn't blame for not going and he understood why it hurt me so much. (Huge brownie points for my dad)
has2005 replied to Kofie's response:
Oh my gosh, that is so odd. And I agree with everyone else, do NOT feel guilty. And boo for DH, sometimes men just don't know what they're talking about. My DH has said some pretty annoying things to me too, and most of the time I just give him the silent treatment for a few hours.
I hope your friend realizes that this is hard for you, and she'll apologize.
I'm sorry!!
ninjarbaby replied to Kofie's response:
your mom said what??? omg that's terrible! I'm so sorry you had to hear that. I'm glad that at least your dad is supportive and understands. I mean, come on. you're their daughter and doesn't she want grandkids? it's not even that. she should be there to support you no matter what the outcome, not shut you down. ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
Kofie replied to ninjarbaby's response:
I know....but this is the way that she has always been about me having kids. When we first got married and I had all those problems, first time I had EVER been late. She said well everytime you feel a little sick you can't assume your PG. I was like whatever...well it turned out to be a huge ordeal and it was a major surgery that arose from that whole situation.

I think this is because she hates my husband. And she pulls no bones about the fact that she hates him. I think she tells me this so that we won't have kids maybe. I dunno. I am so at a point in my life that I just want to be by myself for like 6 months.

I am so pissed we missed "O" this month because I am so busy taking care of EVERYONE elses issues. My DH said last night isn't it about time to get to BD'ing and I said well I O'd yesterday, he said well why didn't you say something. I said I totally forgot about it with everything else we were doing.

UGH! Sorry about the vent :) LOL
has2005 replied to Kofie's response:
LOL! My husband does the same thing. Like he knows more about whats going on with my own body then I do. He'll say "don't we need to BD"? And I'm thinking just leave me alone, quit acting like you're a doctor.
I hope things get straightened out with your friend. All though that is pretty rude that she hates your husband and TELLS you. It's like keep it to yourself. I'm sure you don't say rude things to her.
Good luck!
Kofie replied to has2005's response:
LOL I know...I was like oh now your SOOO intrested in BD'ing.

And unfortunatley it is my mother who hates my DH, not my friend :(
prov_31wife replied to has2005's response:
I wish I could give my DH the silent treatment when he's bugging me... but I can't - he enjoys the silence.
LookingForTheRainbow responded:
Wow, you need a vacation to an exotic place far, far away from your family and friends (you can bring DH)! :)

Some people are so inconsiderate about IF and cannot place themself in another person's shoes. I have learned two things in the last 20 months: 1) this experience has opened my eyes to what other people are going through (I was not always good at this before) and 2) no one can decide what's right for you except you! I did not go to a baby shower and sometimes I skip out on family events that I know might upset me. But you know, I actually feel better about it than if I had gone, so I guess it's the right decision.

Hang in there. A good part of this is that we will all make amazing mothers and never say some of the rude things that come out of other peoples' mouths!
Kofie replied to LookingForTheRainbow's response:
I am going to be taking 6 days off work starting Friday since my dad is having surgery on Tuesday. Since I am gonna have 6 people staying in my 2 bedroom house I need to do some major cleaning. This will be my relaxing time, I love to clean when I have the time to do it right and not rush it.

I feel like I made the right decision. And I can'f figure out for the life of me what happened. She was going through the same thing I am. She had two miscarriages, and she would never carry a baby to full term. They stopped trying and got the fostering process approved and then bam she is pregnant. She is due June 13th. I am over joyed for her more than words can say.

I have faith that she will get over it.
Kofie replied to prov_31wife's response:
Yeah mine to he cherishes the time I don't speak to him LOL :)

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