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Excited and Sad
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mfregoso posted:
A very good friend of mine gave birth to a beautiful baby girl yesterday. She was one day past her due date. The baby is GORGEOUS!

Ever since she announced that she was expecting I have been nothing but excited even more so when she found out she was going to have a girl. I even threw a baby shower for her. It was hard, but never at a point in time did I think not to throw her a shower because I was having fertility issues.

Even though I am happy for her, as I was holding the baby I was a bit sad and resentful, which total took me by surprise because I had not felt resentful in the past 9 months. Ya I was sad that I was having difficulty getting pregnant, but not resentful. I don't know why I felt that way.

My friend had wanted another baby and did not think that she would (they were not trying, but her husband said that he did not want another baby and he is getting a vasectomy). The baby was an "Ooops!" baby. She came home one night after drinking at a bachelorette party and the next month she found out that she was pregnant.
I feel bad that I feel this way. Is it wrong?

She knows that I have been trying and has encouraged me along the way, so I even feel worse.
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LovesPH responded:
Your feelings are not wrong. They are your feelings. I have experienced this "happy for you, sad for me" feeling many times in the last couple of years. We are at the baby making age so most of our friends are having babies and we have to go to showers and be excited. However, it hurts. It hurts me every time someone announces they're expecting. I try my best not to let them know how I am feeling but I can't always hide it. A friend was very upset with me for not being the right level of excited for her, but I tried my best to explain where I was coming from. Whether she understood or just wanted to drop it I don't know, but we are over it now.
And it feels worse when they are Oopsy babies. We have lots of teenagers in our neighborhood with Oopsy babies and I think why do they get a baby and I have to wait. I am the mature, responsible, financially stable one!! Grrr....

Sorry for the rant. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in this feeling. It is definitely something you want to keep to yourself as much as possible to avoid hurt feelings, but you have every right to feel a little sad for you too!

Hugs,
Holly
 
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mfregoso replied to LovesPH's response:
Thank you. And you are not ranting.

I totally agree. I do not plan on telling her or anyone other than DH. I could see it in his eyes too as he was holding her, but what can we do?

I know that one day it will happen for us, we just have to wait our turn.
 
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hppyTurtle responded:
I totally know what you mean, you are not alone! My very best friend, who is really like my sister, had her second (also her second 'oops') two weeks ago. I am so thrilled for her, and her new LO is just the cutest little guy! I spent all afternoon in the hospital with her and the baby (and her hubby), and couldn't have been happier. But as I walked out of the hospital I felt very, well... empty. It was really difficult for me. It seemed like nothing in the world was fair.

BUT, it does get easier. I can say that today, after another visit last week, it does still sting a little. But I remember how much I love her and my little niece and new little nephew, and it stings just a little less.

So, chin up, and keep on baby-making!
 
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2yrsNcounting responded:
You are not alone... I have got very depressed over this same situation...

When it was finally official that out of our group of friends, we are the only ones who haven't gotten pg. (This may sound harsh) Even with some friends losing an infant, miscarrying, and now their son is 6 months...

December was an aweful month... for DH and I.
 
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sunshine10285 responded:
No. My boyfriend and I have been trying to conceive for over 16 months. Of my two best friends, I have watched them have 5 abortions between them and then 3 live births and now one is 5 months pregnant again. It seems so unfair, here are these people who poof! get pregnant and just as easily discard the baby and I'm trying but my body is failing me. It's very lonely and hard to not be resentful. I know the heartbreak of a hundred negative pregnancy tests mixed with a few faint lines that amount to negatives in the end.
 
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mfregoso responded:
Thank you ladies! : lightsmile :

I have not been able to respond sooner, computer issues.

I know that it will get easier and I just have be be positive and patient.


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