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a bit of a venting session tonight...
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Jackienalen posted:
I hope all of you are well, and didn't OD on Turkey and Stuffing.

I am in need of a little support tonight.

I know that I posted earlier this week about how we/I should try to ignore some of the things that my be said to us this holiday season when dealing with family. But I'm a bit awe struck at some of the insane things that have come out of my family members mouths this evening, and I'm truly hurt by one question that my mother had the nerve to ask.

It's kind of funny how it came about, this question coming after my MIL told us all that she can't wait to purchase gifts for her grand children (once we have them), she asked if she says things that pressure me about having children. I told her "No, not tonight anyhow." I kind of knew that she was going to say SOMETHING at that moment about our lack of success. BUT to ask me if my husband secretly had a vasectomy when he was living out in CA because he had decided after a few serious personal ordeals that he didn't want children is amazing!!! It's attained a new height in my WTF comment list. After my reaction - which I tried to keep as nice as possible - she explained that it was "just something I was wondering;" but for her to try and lay the blame on my husband and accuse him of lying to me is completely absurd!

These people who I know love me, say that they want to be supportive, yet keep making it impossible to ever want to share any information with them about our TTC journey. It seems like they're looking for someone or something to blame for our lack of success, and just don't get it.

All I want to do is curl up under the covers and cry. The thought of seeing them anytime soon is sickening. I don't want to hear about their thoughts on my procreation issues or what I should try next.

I'm at the point now where I want to call up my sister and have her spread the word to my family that they are no longer allowed to speak to me about having children. Would it be wrong of me to ask her to do this? Should I just keep my mouth shut and laugh it off? I'm so SICK of these stupid comments and how inconsiderate they can be.

We are all supposed to get together on Saturday for another family holiday gathering, and I don't think I could deal with another day of this gracefully.

My mother told me a few times in the last few months that if the clomid cycles don't work and we have to go on to IVF that she's willing to help pay for it. This is also after she and my sister both offered to be surrogates for us!

She's so dead set on us having children that she's just pushing and pushing... she doesn't even see how much she pushes. She thinks she's helping, but every time she mentions it, all I want to do is scream! But when she hears others talk to me about having children and sees how frustrated it makes me she says "But I don't pressure you, right??"

AUGH!
:) Jackie (30)TTC 1 since 06/08 - possible PCOS & other Medical Issues - DH (33) no testing for him yet
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hppyTurtle responded:
Jackie, I am all for asking your sister to spread the word about a TTC discussion ban. I think it's perfectly reasonable that you should only have to talk about it if you so choose. I'm sorry you're so frustrated, but we all totally understand! I hope your next family gathering is much more aggravation-free
Me (28) and DH (29) TTC our first since March '09. October '10 Lap showed mild endo
 
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Byroney_WebMD_Staff responded:
Dear Jackie,

I agree with hppyTurtle on the TTC ban.

I don't think I could be as polite and patient as you've been. I think I would just say, "I don't discuss intimate details of my life with anyone but my husband. I am sure you'll understand, and I promise to treat you with the same respect."

Hope today was better,

Byroney


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