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Getting Burnt Out...
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MMK82 posted:
Hi ladies! I hope everyone is having/had a wonderful weekend! Last week was quite warm here (MD), but this coming week looks to be cold again. Blah!

I'm just here to vent right now, really. I don't know about any of you, but I am starting to feel a little burnt out with TTC. My emotions haven't been in it AT ALL this cycle--not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing. I think I am just getting a little tired of all the things related to TTC that I do regularly. Here's a list (because I like lists):

*temp
*OPK
*acupuncture (2x/month)
*take herbs (daily)
*use CBEFM
*listen to TTC-related meditation program
*schedule BDing (DH works nights)
*take clomid

I'm not necessarily complaining about doing those things, and it's not like any of them are hard to do. It's kind of hard to explain how I am feeling about all of this. I'm not in a place where I get upset at seeing a pregnant woman, and I'm not too terribly disappointed when AF comes and a new cycle starts--I've come to expect it. I just feel like I am going through the motions. Which, I guess could be considered a 'good' thing--I'm not stressed about TTC...I'm just neutral about it. Of course I want 'it' to happen, but I think I've come to realize that no matter how many things I accomplish on the to-do list of TTC, and no matter how good our timing is, it's mostly out of our control.

I don't want to quit TTC altogether, but it sure would be nice to not have to do all of that so often. But, given my irregularity, I'm not sure it's really possible to TTC without so much 'trying'.

I'm just getting to a point in my life where other hobbies and interests are becoming more important to me after taking a back seat to TTC for so long. I'd like to be able to put more time and effort into them (i.e., harder workouts), but that might counteract TTC efforts (in the past, the more challenging my workouts were, the more irregular it made my cycles). Becoming pregnant and having a baby is very important to DH and I, but I do not want to look back on this time in my life and wonder what the heck I did for so long and have nothing to show for it. But, at the same time, I'm not getting any younger and TTC won't get any easier...

I know I'm just rambling and not really asking any questions! But, please feel free to commiserate and/or leave any advice or share what you might do! :)
Megan (28), DH (25). TTC since 09/2008; m/c 06/2009.
www.fertilityfriend.com/home/mmk82
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praying4baby2011 responded:
Hi there!

I feel the same way you are feeling and I don't even do a quarter of what you do!!

We just started injections this cycle and it has my emotions all over the place! I just started seeing a fertilty specialist and I guess (even though I know I shouldn't) I really had my hopes up that this would be the month. We have been trying for almost 3 years now.

My follicles aren't getting big enough and it's very frustrating. I'm on day 18 of my cycle and I dont feel I'm any closer to gettting my "trigger" shot than I was on day 1!!

Sorry I don't have any advice, I'm new to the boards and came here for the same reason...someone to commiserate with =)

Thanks for putting this post up, it's nice to know I'm not alone and don't have to try to make everyone else feel better for my situation.

Nikki
 
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MMK82 replied to praying4baby2011's response:
Thanks for your reply, Nikki!

I'm on CD16 right now and I took Clomid (50mg) days 5-9.. I took it last cycle also, and Oed on CD17. I've taken it in the past, but due to DH's military obligations, I was only ever able to take it one cycle at a time.

I think the Clomid is making me an emotional mess this time, and I don't know why!! And I'll tell you that I don't like it. Not one bit. I think this afternoon I am going to call the RE's office and see about setting up the initial consult visit. I'd rather not do a third round of Clomid, at least not an unmonitored cycle. For all I know, it could all be for nothing if my eggs aren't growing like they're supposed to!

I just feel like something's gotta give...I would love to be able to toss out my thermometer, stop POAS altogether, have no clue what CD I'm on, and let romance take over again. But with irregular cycles and nonexistent ovulation without help, I don't think that's feasible.

I hope you'll be able to trigger soon! Come back and let us know how it goes!
Megan (28), DH (25). TTC since 09/2008; m/c 06/2009. www.fertilityfriend.com/home/mmk82
 
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hopefulk77 replied to MMK82's response:
Hey Megan,

I feel your pain! I wish it was just as simple as stopping BCP and then getting knocked up. I hate that something I want so badly is out of my control and no matter how hard i work at it, it's not guaranteed to happen. This really is the first time in my life where hard work doesn't pay off... I temp, chart, use OPKs/CBEFM and take vitamins, I time BD'ing and still nothing :(

I'm on CD20, O confirmed on CD17, so 3DPO, and had the IUI done 1dpo.

Can I ask why you are on clomid days 5-9, my doc put me on them 3-7 even though I tend to O late. The clomid gave me some pretty nasty headaches, and i know i was irritable (poor DH!). I think doing a monitored cycle makes sense - it helps to know things are proceeding like they should and the nasty side effects are worth it.

Here's hoping this is our month!
hugs
k
K (33), DH (34), TTC 1 Since Oct 08, M/C Jun09 (10wks), RE Appt Dec10, http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/KL
 
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tripp9 replied to hopefulk77's response:
Hey Megan:
It is sometimes just great to vent about everything that is going on with this situation. So many times I hear about people getting pregnant on their first or second try and I've been trying for over 18 monhts. It's really hard with DH out of town a lot of the time but we have been planning our visits during O time and still nothing. I'm to the point where I just don't care anymore. I want to have kids but after so many months of disapointment I just don't think about it anymore. I keep thinking about all the things that I want to go do and see.
I was tested last month for HSG and I'm all good. I don't even know what other tests I would do anymore. DH went for a SA last week (finally) and we are waiting to see what it says. My next step is going on Clomid for when I see him next month.

Hoping everything is well.
Judie DH (27), Me (31), TTC since July 09, Have done Acupuncture and going to start trying it again.


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