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vent!
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mamawant2b posted:
Hi ladies. I really need to vent to some ladies who understand what I'm going through.
My DH and I have been trying since 2/10. I've gone through Clomid, Prometrium and now I just finished my second round of Menopur and IUI. I'm on the 2WW until next Wednesday and of course cannot wait!
But anyway, Friday at work a lady stopped to ask me if I was pregnant. Uhmmm... no, sorry just have gained weight. Awesome!
Then last night my DH and I were out to dinner with another couple (pregnant) and run into a couple from work/church. My sister-in-law who just got married in November and literally EVERY other married couple I know is either pregnant or just had a baby. So this guy asks my husnabd when we're going to get working on it since WE'RE THE ONLY COUPLE LEFT. Thanks buddy! Hadn't noticed that, so thanks for pointing that out for us. It took everything I had to hold back tears. I have also started acupuncture and was feeling so much better this second round. My spirits were up and felt better physically.
But that brought me so down! Why are people so ignorant?!?!
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FrenchBulldogMom responded:
I'd like to buy a t-shirt that says:

Don't ask me when I'm going to have a baby: I'm undergoing fertility treatments you jerk!!!!
 
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jon3brn replied to FrenchBulldogMom's response:
I wish they offered it as a mug. I would carry my drinks around in it and when some IDIOT said some dumb stuff like that, I would hit them in the head with it. But in their defense (i know, traitor) they do not know. Just recently we have told our families about our issues to conceive. Because being the only child of my fathers (divorce; half brother: share the same mother). Grandchildren were a topic of Great discussion. But once everyone found out the questions went from "so when" to "what did the doctors says" or "how are you feeling". but i know as women, we tend to suffer in silence and with some many around us basking in the glow of pregnancy or new mommyhood we will ashamed or embarrassed. But if they are truly friends of yours, they will understand or at least try once you tell them.

I am not saying you have to announce it to the world. But at least to those that you love and care about and who are important to you. Dont allow other ppl to bring you down, I know its hard. My best friend just had a baby in January and several other couple friends are due the next several months. which means baby showers, gifts and baby talk. Not really a scene for someone struggling. But you still have to marvel in the miracle of the conception of a child. Its a beautiful thing and one day you will be blessed with your own. And wouldnt you want those people to be happy for you?

I dont mend to offend or preach. Its just some lessons Ive learned over the months of dealing with my own disappointment. BUT people who SHOVE their foot in the throats are irritating.
 
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codysu responded:
I'm so sorry they brought you down. People really don't think about what others are going through, and I'm sure they'd feel horrible if they knew what you (and so many of us) are going through. I had to laugh at jon3brn's comment about hitting them in the head with the mug! I found this website that I hope will help you feel better. If nothing else, hopefully you will get a good laugh.
http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/
 
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egrieco replied to jon3brn's response:
You are absolutely and I appreciate your kind words.
I know he didn't mean it, and since he has 3 children of his own he has no idea what we're going through and what its like.
Its such a rollercoaster of emotions. One day I feel great doing the whole baby talk and other days I want to curl up in bed and not talk to anyone.
I am happy for all those women who succeed to easily. The hardest one for me to accept is still my sister-in-law. Its been a little awkward between us lately. I try not to, and try to not show it but no one really mentions anything baby when I'm around. Which I guess doesn't help either. All our immediate family knows that I am going through treatments.
It will pass I know. And I will continue to have my ups and downs until that day comes. What doesn't kill me will just make me stronger.
Thanks for your reply
 
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egrieco replied to codysu's response:
thanks for the website
 
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jon3brn replied to egrieco's response:
That phrase is one used alot by my grandmother. which i respect and admire as an african american woman growing up during the times she did. but at the same time, Yes it wont kill me physically. But it is killing me mentally, emotionally and psychologically. Those are the scars no one sees, those are the scars that do not heal themselves; these are scars that only love and support can heal. but i do take refuge and solace from the words of wisdoms of my grandmother. Just take it day by day, dont worry about what will happen tomorrow or what went wrong the day before. JUST TODAY. thats the hardest lesson I had to(still) learn(ing).

The only thing I can say about the thing with your sister in law is just be honest. For the first few weeks of my best friends new baby I didnt (couldnt) go hang out with her. Because it just made me so upset to see her with her baby and her family. It was painful and i felt horrible for feeling that way about my best friend. but you cant help how you feel. you guys are a family and if you cant be honest with your family; who then? but after a week or so, i finally went and hung out with her and the baby. And, i felt better to hold the baby and help take care of the baby. My philsophy is I am considered apart of the family, so I will care and treat this baby as if he were my own.... That helped me feel better about being around her. Now when we hang out I am not so emotional. I love seeing him, holding him and feeding him.

And when my time comes, it will just be that more special and intimate, because he or she will be mine.


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