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Losing Faith
nanny4720 posted:
I have been married for almost four years I have been helping my husband rasie his 2 children since they were infants. I am a teacher of young children so on a daily basis I am reminded of not being able to get pregnant. I had lap surgery to diagnosis endometriosis and around 90% of it was removed. I had high expectations of getting pregnant within the 6 months after my surgery but now a year later I have still been unsuccessful. I try to not focus on that each month but it is so hard and although my husband tells me that it will happen when I stop thinking about but I feel that since he is a parent and I am only a step parent he does not understand what I am feeling. I have talked to other about my frustrations usually I turn it into a joke about my plumbing not working however it is devastating. Each month I cannot fight my tears and I feel like less and less of a women. I work with children 6 days a week and its so hard. I am not sure what I am looking to hear from posting this but it feels good to just repeat what I am feeling. ABout 4 months ago we met with a fertility doc and I had all of the diagnostic test and blood work done I will find out next friday what they found. With all of the procedures and medicaitons I have been on in the past 2 years I feel like a lab rat and the thought of fertility is making me feel worse and overwhelemed. Some women just take this blessing for granted and I would give anything for morning sickness, swollen body parts, weight gain etc. Well this is a pretty fertile weekend for me so fingers crossed hopefully my tone will change next month. Thanks for listening. And goodluck to everyone else TTC

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JessKSM responded:
Praying for you, hon.
Love and laughter overcome everything else.
Byroney_WebMD_Staff responded:
Welcome Nanny and thank you for posting. I agree with countries who pay for infertility treatments (with some limitations). I hope some day insurance companies or even some states will help couples out.

I know this may seem odd to ask, but has your husband ever been tested? I'm asking because it's easy to assume that because he has children, the problem is with you. However, secondary infertility (infertility after successfully having children) can strike at any time. Perhaps having a semen analysis done would be a good idea just to be sure?

I hope this weekend is The One!

Keep us updated,

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.~
Roseanne Barr

gabzi responded:
I completely understand how you are feeling, TTC for about 4 years, 1 year treatment. IVF is our best option but new complications and issues keep popping up. Oh how I hate it when people tell me "it will happen" "be patient" "don't think about it so much". I get there urge for violence. It is something that is so difficult for all those fertile women will just never understand. I dream of sleepless nights and stains on my clothing, my husband would give just about anything for all those hastles parents complain about. I often take my younger sister to doc and dental appointments and watch all those parents looking frustrated at having to find the time in their busy day to deal with this, oh what I would give for the hastle. I think it will make me that much of a better mother when and if it ever happens, I will never take one moment for granted because this life without is empty and unbareable. Sometimes you just need to ramble, one thing that I have found recently comforting is finding women who understand. You feel helpless and hopeless, constantly trying to fight back the tears. Good luck to you and I hope you are blessed with a child soon.
azwoman72 responded:
I think you are very justified in feeling the way you do. I think we all feel that way. My biggest dream is yet to come true and so many people around me are pregnant. I am single and doing this alone so it is even harder. You didnt say your age or what type of treatments you've had. Have you tried injections yet? Yes they are expensive but my fertility doctor uses a pharmacy out of the UK and you save alot of money- you may just need a little boost and injections work really well but you need to be monitored. And when your blood levels some back (FSH, LH, E2, etc) be sure to post them if you want opinions. You also didnt say your age. I know states like NJ and MA require fertility coverage, and I think that is so unfair as it should be the same across the USA. I have no fertility coverage and I can only do what I can afford. I get annoyed hearing women complain about being pregnant or women who have several children already, complaining about not being able to have anymore. I am still working on number 1. A friend of mine from high school is about to give birth,, she is 38, very overweight, diabetic, and she and her hubby have been trying for years to get PG and kind of gave up.Then, boom, she finds out she's two months along and now she's due any day now. She tries not to complain about being PG since she tried for so long to get pregnant but since she has so many health problems, she wants this baby out! I have heard so many women beat the odds and that 'miracle' babb coming. I am certainly hoping to be blessed with the same luck. SSBD, we're all in this together.

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