My husband and I have been TTC for 2 years now. We had a bump in the road back in October when I was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma insitu. I had a cone biopsy done and everything came out great. So we are back to trying even harder this time. My cousin told me yesterday that she's pergo. I am so happy for her but can't stop feeling jealous and sad. I don't want to feel this way towards her because I love her so much. She wasn't even trying. She said it just happened.Why can't that just happen for me? Why is it that when you want something so bad and it keeps happening for other people? I'm severely depressed about the way I'm feeling. I feel like I need to just appect the fact that this may not be in the cards for me. It makes me feel like a failure as a woman and a wife.
I cry every time I hear about some one else getting pregnant. I excuse myself and let it out. It's uncontrollable. I cry on and off all day on my first day of my period too. Uncontrollably, it's like it hurts so bad inside it bursts out. I find myself resenting strangers like, why do they deserve it and not me. I want to slap 16 year old mothers in the face. I'm a little emotional about it too. Maybe this will make you feel less alone.
oh hun, this post makes me tear up just reading it. It can be very hard sometimes. I feel just like you right now. I have been ttc for 3 years. I just found out my best friend and my sister, cousin and my old friend are all pregnant. This guy at work just had a baby last week after trying for 7 years! do not give up. There are many different things that can help us get pregnant. The guy at work, it took their 2nd round of invitro to get their baby girl. My best friend it just "happened" to her too. I want to go see her and see her baby bump, but I am REALLY scared im going to start crying while Im there. I try to act like everything is ok, but its not. I try to be strong, but Im not sometimes. On top of those people i know that are pregnant there are few more people that are pregnant that are living off welfare right now. And not because of any disability or anything, not because they can't find a job, because they don't want to work, because it will take away from their food stamps. And then there are people like you and me who try to do everything right and still get smacked down. Its definantly a struggle, but the way i get through, is i feel like god really has his eye out for me. Like he is preparing me to be completely ready for this child. So, that is what keeps me going. Don't ever feel like you are a failure as a wife. Just keep giving it your all! *hugs*
OH and just a little more, my old friend that i said was pregnant took 5 years to concieve her first baby. She did a bunch of rounds of clomid...the last round she did she feel pregnant. She wasn't going to do another round because she just couldn't handle it anymore. SHe had a little girl first and now she is now naturally pregnant with twins. So like i said don't give up!
I know exactly how you feel! There have been several people in my family who have gotten pregnant in the last year as well as friends. You want to be happy for them but it is frustrating at the same time. I am a 45 year old who has been told by my doctor that there is no reason that my husband and I can't conceive naturally and did but I miscarried on Father's Day. So we continue to try. We even have a friends who is the same age as we are that got pregnant accidentally! No such luck for us! Keep your chin up! You are not alone and you are not a failure as a woman!
I too feel the same way! I had a miscarriage at the beginning of this year and my cousin's gf just had a baby that was born at the same time that the baby I had lost would have been born. I couldn't even look at the poor kid and it wasn't even his fault! I try to explain it to my husband and he just doesn't seem to understand. It is very hard to go through and feel that way because you are happy for everyone else, but it takes an emotional toll on you as well. Keep your chin up! You just may not be as ready as you think you are and when it happens it will be even more special for you!!!!
I know how you feel. My friend who wasn't ttc at all told us she was pregnant friday night.. then my wife's cousin just found out she was pregnant and told us Saturday night. I went into the bathroom and cried. They were not trying either. And then yesterday I found out she had a miscarriage. She was 9 weeks. It makes me feel very horrible that I cried. That I had that jealousy that I couldn't control. I understand it's hard to keep your chin up. As much as you try. It's hard. I have been ttc for over a year and a half now. I know how you feel about being depressed. It is really getting to me also.
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