oh hun, this post makes me tear up just reading it. It can be very hard sometimes. I feel just like you right now. I have been ttc for 3 years. I just found out my best friend and my sister, cousin and my old friend are all pregnant. This guy at work just had a baby last week after trying for 7 years! do not give up. There are many different things that can help us get pregnant. The guy at work, it took their 2nd round of invitro to get their baby girl. My best friend it just "happened" to her too. I want to go see her and see her baby bump, but I am REALLY scared im going to start crying while Im there. I try to act like everything is ok, but its not. I try to be strong, but Im not sometimes. On top of those people i know that are pregnant there are few more people that are pregnant that are living off welfare right now. And not because of any disability or anything, not because they can't find a job, because they don't want to work, because it will take away from their food stamps. And then there are people like you and me who try to do everything right and still get smacked down. Its definantly a struggle, but the way i get through, is i feel like god really has his eye out for me. Like he is preparing me to be completely ready for this child. So, that is what keeps me going. Don't ever feel like you are a failure as a wife. Just keep giving it your all! *hugs*
OH and just a little more, my old friend that i said was pregnant took 5 years to concieve her first baby. She did a bunch of rounds of clomid...the last round she did she feel pregnant. She wasn't going to do another round because she just couldn't handle it anymore. SHe had a little girl first and now she is now naturally pregnant with twins. So like i said don't give up!