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(TRIGS) update
MeganAF82 posted:
Hi girls. Just wanted to let you all know that our baby didn't make it. I had a little bit of light brown spotting yesterday when I wiped, and then once around dinnertime it was red--again, only when I wiped. So I called and spoke to my doctor, and he had me come in for an ultrasound today. The baby did not have a heartbeat. Even though at last week's appointment it did.

I am in complete shock and can't stop crying. And to make matters worse, DH doesn't come home from Maryland until Wednesday. So I am here by myself for another 6 days.

Anyway, thanks for all of the support you showed me while I was on this board, and thanks for letting me update you when I did conceive. Hopefully in a couple months I'll be back here with a new batch of girls because you all take my place on the 1st tri board.
bebe74 responded:
OMG Megan I am sooooo sorry this happened. I feel terrible but I know you will be ok in time. Get some rest and stay strong. Just remember that so many women who miscarry go on to have successful pregnancies and healthy children! I hope you are back on the 1st tri boards in no time.

PinkPanther444 responded:
Oh Megan, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss! I wish I could jump through the computer and give you a big hug!!! Please know we are here for you anytime you need to talk... especially during the next 6 days while you wait for DH to come home.
Kristy1019 responded:
No Megan No!!!!!!!!! It just can't be I absolutely DON'T want to believe this. I was so sure you were going to have a wonderful pregnancy. I'm so, so, so sorry. I know words can't even begin to express what you need right now. I wish I could reach my arms through my monitor and give you a big hug, but I guess the virtual {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} are going to have to do for now. Stay strong, the next LO will be stickier and find some comfort in knowing that that this little angel was just to good for this world. I hope you have at least one person nearby you can lean on until DH gets back, I can't imagine going through what you're going through by myself. Please take care of yourself, come to us whenever you need us, we are always here for you. We love you Megan, it will be ok in time. My thoughts and prayers are going out for you now. Many many healing vibes....take care
PGinSJ responded:
I do not know what to say right now. This has really hit me hard Megan, so I can't imagine how it is for you. I am not trying to sound selfish, I am just trying to convey how invested I was in this pregnancy going right for you and DH. I opened this post totally oblivious because I just assumed that everything would be fine. I agree with pp, please tell me that there is someone to be with you right now or some way that DH can get back soon? Where do you live? I wish I lived close by or knew someone supportive that did (not that you would want to hang with a stranger during this time). See I don't even know what I am saying, I am just rambling whatever comes to mind. I am VERY SAD and VERY ANGRY, beyond words, that this had to happen to you! It's just not right!
MeganAF82 responded:
(sad and 'happy' tears) Obviously we know what the sad tears are for, but the 'happy' tears are because I am just so touched to have caring friends like you ladies. I can already tell that this is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions for a bit of time. Right now, I feel like I am doing 'okay'. I had a good, long cry earlier and that has helped me feel better...for now. But I'm sure later when I go to bed, all the emotions will flood my mind again.

While I am not a very religious person (that's another post), I do feel like everything happens for a reason and things have a way of working themselves out. I WILL still get to go with DH to Korea since that process was approved and completed as of last Friday. The only way that would be reversed and I'd stay in is if *I* initiated that process...obviously we know that isn't going to happen.

DH and I briefly talked about the 'what's next' part of this, and we both agree that we don't want to 'actively' try again until we are in Korea--so October sometime. This way, we'll have a couple months to heal from this (physically and emotionally) and be able to focus all of our energy and efforts on whatever will need to be done to get to Korea.

So, for now, I wait...wait for this miscarriage process to get started...then finished. And if that doesn't happen within a week and a half, I will call the doc to schedule a d&c. He said it's up to me if/when we do that, but I don't think I could emotionally handle waiting much longer than that for it to all happen. I want to give my body time to initiate it on its own, but I don't want to drag this on any longer than necessary.

Anyway, thanks again for all of your concern, kind words, and encouragement. I hope that by the time we are TTC again you will all be on the PG boards!!! I am sure I will check in with you girls from time to time--I really do feel like we have all become friends, so while I may not be actively TTC, I don't think I'll be able to just stop talking to you!!
erinmj31 responded:
Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry to hear this. Just know that we're all here for you and will support you in any way that we can. (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
MrsGTTCourfirst responded:
OMG Megan, I'm so sorry! This just isn't fair! You deserved this LO. I sure hope that you can heal quickly and start trying again. You are in my thoughts and prayers! And again, I am so, so, so SORRY!!! [[[[[[[HUGS>>>>>>
xzsublime84zx responded:

I cant believe im reading this!!! i thought oh a nice update on megan la de da. then open and read this and im like woah did i read who posted this right? WTH??? i cant believe it! this sucks soooo much!!! this world is so un-freakin-fair. this makes me really scared to get pg now. 3 girls in like 2 days with m.c ugh!!!! why?? the only positive you have to look forward to is that you are out of the military now so you dont have the whole time crunch thing going on. but still that doesnt at all make it any better, i just dont know what to say to make you feel better. i hope you feel ok soon. (((((BIG BIG BIG HUGS!!!)))))
PGinSJ responded:
Megan~ I am glad you said you feel as if you are friends with women on this board. I feel that way too and have found myself getting so wrapped in what's going on with some, esp you. I felt so close to you before you got pg and was soo happy as you moved up to the first tri board. I am glad that you will still be able to move to Korea with DH and that you intend to keep in touch with us through that this hard time. Just wanted to say that (as I am two glasses of wine deep)
babywinch responded:
Hi Megan,


I saw your spotting question on the 2nd tri board yesterday, and thought I'd check knowing you update here. I am so sorry to hear what happened- and that you are going through it on your own.

Be good to yourself in the coming weeks, and I hope that in time you are able to heal mentally and physically.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Hang in there.
4giv3n1 responded:
Megan, I am so sorry for you. I know a m/c is hard as I've been there myself, only I didn't get to experience the excitement of hearing that little heartbeat. Hun, I wish you peace and comfort in this time of loss. *hugs* Hopefully, it won't take long before you can tell us you are pg again. *hugs* again.
Momof2Dogs responded:
Megan.... I am so sorry to hear that you lost your little one. It is the exact same point where I lost my first baby. Nothing in my life shook me to the core more than that loss. So I completely understand what you are feeling.

Just know if you decide on a D&C, its super easy, physically speaking. I personally didn't want to wait for it to was hard enough as it was and I just wanted to close the chapter as soon as possible.

BIG HUGS sweetie. Hang in there...the sun will come out and shine again soon.
Kristy1019 responded:
Well, if nothing else, I'm happy you still get to go to Korea. It actually crossed my mind, but I didn't want to had any undue stress to your situation. I'm so glad they can't take this tragedy and turn it into "well, now you're back in the AF" I would flip. I am in a little disbelief over all this. I've read other posts before about how Dr.'s can have an issue finding a heartbeat, but the LO sure enough has one. I know with the spotting, you'd be hard pressed to believe that, I just pray that all this was a mistake and you are fine. But I know that whatever happens down the line, you are strong and you will prevail. Take your time to grieve, but go into it knowing that you are going to be a wonderful mommy one day soon, and this is just a terrible bump in the road.
cms51684 responded:
Oh no Megan

I also thought I was going to hear a good update on you when I opened this. Like the other girls I'm really feeling your pain. Funny how emotionally attached we get to people we don't even know in real life. I can't even begin to understand how you're feeling through all of this but I do hope that you have someone there with you that you can lean on until your DH gets back. I'm glad that you'll still be able to go to Korea with him and I pray for you to have a sticky bean whenever you and DH are emotionally ready to try again. I really wish you the best of luck and I hope that you'll stay on and update us periodically. {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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