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Husband is having performance anxiety
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ReneeSP posted:
Okay, I'm sure he'd just die if he knew I was talking about this, but my husband is getting to the point (after just a few months of me actually tracking) where he has "performance anxiety" if you know what I mean the second I tell him I'm ovulating. I tried just not telling him, but we have busy evenings lately and there isn't always time to be all romantic and seductive about it. He's assured me this isn't some sub consious way of telling me he isn't ready, just nervousness and pressure. I have to admit, I lost my mind over it last night because it was our last shot this month and now I have to wait a whole month again and I'm already crying in the bathroom every time I hear someone is pregnant. I chart, I pee on sticks, I quit caffeine, smoking, alcohol, I take vitamins, I exercise... he has the only pleasant part about this experience and HE has too much pressure?? I have been very careful since the beginning, 6 months ago, to make this an enjoyable experience because you hear all the time about how fertility problems ruin your sex life. So I'm begging for your stories, thoughts, input, help!! If I have to go another month I may smother him with a pillow.
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vybe77 responded:
I think you'll see that you'll get quite a few responses that understand what you're feeling and going through lol...Ive been tracking and doing all the good things for the last 6 months also and we're still waiting for the BFP and Im also finding myself let down and sad when miss P shows up every month...and the worse thing of all is getting those pesky symptoms and really feeling like this time this could be it and then of course it ends up not being...
Hang in there, its important to not let your impatience get the best of you because that will in no way help his performance anxiety and it will not help you to relax..
I understand how that is so easier said than done...Im in the same boat right at this same moment as you and you'll soon see other responders telling you they have similar situations...just enjoy those moments that you and your hubby do get to spend together and one of these times will end up being the right one
 
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Dehster responded:
Mine had this issue last month. It had never happened before and he blames it on being very tired. As soon as I told him I was ovulating and we start getting undressed... nothing. I was sooo upset. I starting breathing all heavy and yelling. I know I shouldn't but it's so frustrating! I know he doesn't mean for it to happen. The next morning he woke me up twice just to baby dance but still it's like come on!
 
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planningnut123 responded:
I feel exactly the same way. We have been together for 12 years. I have been waiting for evey for us to have children. He swears he is ready, he wants kids now, he loves me, he finds me attractive.... He would us not track, but then he is too tired to have sex frequent enough to get pregnant that way. So I do all the tracking and I try to casually seduce him and he says he is tired and we'll do it tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes and I end up telling I'm ovulating and he tries but can't. It's been five months now and I don't want to go to sleep b/c when I wake up I will have lost another opportunity. I can't take years of this. I'm so upset. But if I tell him how I feel then it just hurts his self esteem and self confidence even more. I just cry and cry. And i start to worry that we'll never get pregnant or that it will so long that I'll be too old to have a healthy child. I wanted a big family. Now I am worried we wont even have one.
 
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Mommyteacher1 replied to planningnut123's response:
I feel the same way! We have Been trying for 6-7months and i just had a baby boy about a year ago...We want another child close to his age...Plus im not getting any younger...lol. We have been trying and it has been so very stressful on my husband. I have Sent Tons of money on tests and kits for ovulation that the drugstore people know me by name. When i was under the most stress over a year ago when we were not testing and charting is when it happened...lol I pray that it will happen soon. So maany of my peers just had one fun night then Boom! a Baby!...Not Me It seems like a chore to my poor husband...I have been pretty cruel but i do want this bad and i can be mean;-( He knows i love him we just have to pray and hope for the best!


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Cassy (27) DH (30) Married 8/19/06... DD is 21 months old (born 7/19/08). early m/c 3/4/2010. Baby #2 on the way, EDD 12/9/10.

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