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Can't get Pregnant
JMChappell posted:
My husband and I have actually been trying for 9 months and still have not gotten pregnant. We try and try and try, just doesn't happen. Everyone I talk to says "Oh it will happen" but they didn't have problems, they don't understand...I feel like no one understands how I feel. Everytime I miss my period, I take a test, and it is negative, and I cry everytime, because it is just not fair. I see people around me who don't spend time with their kids and don't care, but we want a child so badly, and it won't happen for us...I feel like it's my fault. My mother-in-law jokingly says to "hurry up" but it makes me sad when she says that because we are, and it's just not happening. Does anyone else feel this way? Am I stupid for feeling this strongly about it? I would really appreciate some feedback.
cgagnon responded:
I totally understand how you feel. My husband and I have also been trying for 9 mths and nothing. It seems that especially at this point in my life everyone is getting pregnant and it generally happens by accident. It really does not seem fair that people like us who so desperately want a baby can't seem to have one. I keep being told as well to be patient and that it will happen when you least expect it but it's so hard. I feel like such a failure sometimes but I try not to think about it as it is easy to become a little obsessed with it all! Wishing you luck on your baby quest, fingers crossed it will happen for you soon!
An_226756 replied to cgagnon's response:
My husband and I have been trying for almost 11 months. I had a miscarriage back in October and nothing has happened since. Everything happened naturally, so I didn't need the D&C. But it is so incredibly frustrating that I haven't become pregnant yet. I understand how you both feel. No one else seems to understand the immense disappointment you feel when you get your period. I have actually felt angry at times when I've seen other women pregnant. I wish you all the best of luck in your baby journeys.
teetee5417 replied to An_226756's response:
u shold try this site
iluvpugs83 responded:
I totally feel your pain. My husband and I have been trying for about 6months. To make matters worse my sister just found out she is pregnant with twins!! I have to try to let go of my anger and resentment but it is hard. I am sick of people telling me to be patient and positive - I am trying...I just wish it would happen or know why it's not happening.
JMChappell replied to An_226756's response:
No they don't understand, I agree. Everyone that says "it will happen" has no problems. I know what you mean, I get all excited when it gets close to my period, hoping I will miss it....but then it comes and its like something is ripped out of me. I also get angry and extremely jealous of pregnant woman. I was soooo jealous of my best friend because I wanted kids way before she did, and then one day she just says " we wanna get pregnant" and the first cycle, they did. It made me so angry. Even family members. I feel terrible because I know I should be happy for them, but I am just jealous. Thank you so much=>
JMChappell replied to cgagnon's response:
I know! It makes me so mad, we are trying like crazy, and there are so many people who get drunk or just have unprotected sex and wham! They are pregnant. It's like the people who don't want children or are not planning for one are like super fertile. The thing that bothers me the most is when people tell me "it will happen"! Yeah I become a little obsessed with it..I mean, how can you not? It's something that is suppose to be so natural, and it is just not happening. Thank you!
JMChappell replied to iluvpugs83's response:
Exactly. Doesn't it just drive you crazy when you try, and then everyone around you is getting pregnant and is soooo happy. I totally understand about people telling you to be "patient and positive" when something like this is happening to them, then they will know how we feel and they won't be patient! I too wish I knew why it wasn't happening...then I could try and do something about it. I feel like I know nothing and there is nothing I can do.
JMChappell responded:
Thank you all who replied. I really appreciatee your input and support. Thanks! And good luck to you all too!
dyimond responded:
My husband and I are in the same boat. Been trying for a year and nothing yet. It makes it difficult and frustrating. Good luck and I understand.
JMChappell replied to dyimond's response:
Thank you so much=>
JMChappell replied to JMChappell's response: has been about 11 months now, and still no baby=[ The latest thing: we decided to go to a fertility clinic, discuss the problem, and get tested. I think by 11 months, and no pregnancy, it is reasonable; finally we will have some closure and know why this is happening, and how to approach any problems. The only people I told were my husband of course, and my mother inlaw. I have a hard time talking about it, I think any woman would; well I told my own mother, and all she had to say was "that's dumb, it's not worth the money, it will happen". That really hurt my feelings, I mean, how long does she think I should wait, forever? It is obviously not happening, I don't get why she would object to something like this? Has anyone else had family members act like this? Why would they do it?
D2BAM replied to JMChappell's response:
I'm in the same boat. My husband and I have been naturally trying for almost two years and then in May I turned to infertility. I have been on infertility drugs since then, but no luck yet. I started my cycle today so I will be going on to my 5th month of fertility. This time I will try the IUI method. Hopefully my follicles are big enough so I can even do the IUI. last month it wasn't.

In any case, you should just try it. No need to tell anyone else who doesn't support your decision. Just don't give up. I have two sister-in-laws who went through fertility and both have beautiful children. In fact, through infertility drugs and IUI, one of them gave birth today to twins.

Really depressing to see everyone around me having babies except me.
JMChappell replied to D2BAM's response:
Oh geez, I'm so sorry=[ I hope this time it will work for you. We havn't even started those yet, so I can only imagine how hard it is.
Yeah we are not listening to her, we have an appointment with a doctor anyway. I just cannot believe my own mother said that, it hurt so much. I havn't told anyone else since then because of fear of how they will react. I'm trying not to give up, but it is hard because for some reason I had it in my mind when we first started TTC that it would happen fast because everyone around us was getting pregnant as soon as they wanted, but now that it is taking so long, now I keep thinking it will never happen. That's why the fertility tests and treatments are shedding some light onto my doubts, but it is hard to stay positive when people who should be supporting are not and make me feel worse.
JMChappell replied to JMChappell's response:
I am happy, we went to a fertility clinic and have had some light shed on the problems. I was prescribed clomid to start in a couple weeks. I have heard good things about it, has anyone else who has taken this drug or know someone who has, had success?

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I have a loving husband and a beautiful little girl. We are TTC and it is taking a lot longer the second time around!

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