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TRIGGS found out a co-worker TRIGGS
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shanastash posted:
TRIGGS today i was on facebook and i found out through a co-workers mom's wall, that her daughter (my co-worker) lost her baby. i don't know how far along she was and i don't think she knew either, she was still waiting on medicaid (or whatever its called).

i told her mom that if her daughter needs it, i am here for her and for her mom as well because i know first hand that it doesn't only effect the parents, it effects the whole family.

i need your help though ladies. i don't know how to act around her. i have the next 2 days off but after that, we will have to work together (very together because we still work at starbucks and there is no other choice!)...

i know that when i went through my mourning/grief i hated seeing preggos around me. and now here she is gonna be "stuck" with me for 6 hours a day. thankfully i only have 2 more weeks of working there until i leave for my leave of absense but for those 2 weeks...i don't know.

i know i should know because it was only a year ago it happened to us...but i also know that for each person, its a "different" feeling of grief and it effects people differently.

i am rambling...thanks for your help ladies! and sorry if i triggered anyone!
Shana-27, Darrin-29, angel baby (fishie-14w5d) delivered on 10.10.09. Dx: MTHFR and FV Leiden. BFP 3.12.10 EDD 11.20.10 Rx: Lovenox 40 mg, baby asprin, 1000 mcg folic acid... AND PRAYERS!
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chickeedoodle responded:
WOW - first off - who talks about m/c on facebook! eek. I'd guess since it's on FB there is no reason you can't just talk to her about it and tell her how sorry you are, and how you have been through it, etc...You might consider just being straightforward about how you know it might be uncomfortable being around you as she has just lost her baby...

I know that when my friend lost her baby (39 weeks) and I was 6 months pregnant, she distanced herself from me and other preggos. But at work, your co-worker doesn't have that luxury.

Good luck, that's a tough situation.
DS born 5/2006, many failed IUI's then 1st loss 7/2009, more failed IUI's, a successful IVF which turned into my 2nd loss 9/2010.
 
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dani428 responded:
That is a really difficult situation. I know for me, these past 2 years, with all of my losses, I unfortunately, always shared my due dates with at least 2-3 coworkers. It was rough. Each time it happened, my prego coworkers would express their condolences w/a hug when I came back to work. Then they usually didn't discuss their pregnancies for awhile, and most of the time, they'd wait for me to ask them how they were doing. They waited and watched me and let me decide when I was okay discussing pregnancy and when I wasn't. So, let her behavior guide yours. Feel free to express your sympathies and empathy and offer help when/if she needs it, and then just let her be and when she's ready to reach out to you, be there for her, she'll appreciate it very much!!
Me40/DH44 3 missed m/c's, 12wks,10wks,9wks (I will always miss my 3 little boys). Our furbabies, Russell (Havanese puppy) Turtles (cat) and Perrin (cat).
 
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shanastash replied to chickeedoodle's response:
guess i should say that her mom wrote something about "i just want to thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers in this hard time" and then i saw some posts on her wall saying "so sorry for (name's) loss".

but i shared on facebook everyday, almost every thought. it was like a diary/blog...i said "what was on my mind". my mom hated that i did it...oh well. it got me through! but yes, it was kinda weird to read on there...
Shana-27, Darrin-29, angel baby (fishie-14w5d) delivered on 10.10.09. Dx: MTHFR and FV Leiden. BFP 3.12.10 EDD 11.20.10 Rx: Lovenox 40 mg, baby asprin, 1000 mcg folic acid... AND PRAYERS!
 
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kittie_44077 responded:
I know what you mean. My best friend since 3rd grade was pg when I m/c the first time. The hardest thing I think I've ever done was when I went to visit her in the hospital after she had her daughter. I could only stay about 20 min. b4 I broke down in tears, but she is my best friend. After my 2nd m/c I notice that we are even more distanced. I noticed your siggie and I've got the same MTHFR and factor V leiden, but I also have another one on my genes. I'm on the folic acid/b complex and baby asprin now. I'll have to do the 2 x's daily heparin shots when I do get pg. You'll be in my prayers.
me(32)DH(32)trying since july 2007. m/c 1 9-18-2009 at 11wks 3 days; m/c 2 6-30-2010 at 6 wks.


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