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Dani428 posted:
Well, it was a very long appt, 4 hrs to be exact, and it was emotionally draining. She went over every pregnancy/loss, in detail, all of the testing I've had done etc. . . .

She kept bringing up the obvious, my AGE, and trying to blame old eggs. I showed her the pathology reports, that the tissue that was tested showed that all 3 babies were chromosomally normal, so how can the losses be strictly age if nothing was wrong with them??

Anyway, her first suggestion was ovarian reserve testing, which I've already had done twice in the past year and both times it showed ovarian reserve is normal, but she wants to do her own. Then she quoted the stats of a woman my age getting pregnant on her own, vs IVF w/PGD. She was really pushing the aggressive treatment of IVF w/PGD. This is something we are not interested in doing, due to religious beliefs, we have decided that we are not comfortable with that approach. We kindly explained this to her, and we understand that others may believe differently, but that it is each couples decision to do what is right for them. She then mentioned how the "sands of time in the hour glass is running out fast for me" and that without IVF, she really doesn't see what other help she can give me. She then told me that if I wanted to be conservative and just take my chances with nature, I could go back to my OB and ask about doing Femara w/progesterone supplementation and timed intercourse.

Anyway, $410 spent from my flexible spending acct just to hear, I'm old and that IVF w/PGD would be the only option.

So, we've decided to just take our chances on our own until the end of the year.
Me40/DH45 3 missed m/c's, 12wks,10wks,9wks (I will always miss my 3 little boys).  Our furbabies, Russell (Havanese puppy) Turtles (cat) and Perrin (cat).
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Starla_94 responded:
wow. doctors can be so insensitive!!!!! i've not heard about femara.. what is that??

and its your every right to deny IVF if its not for you then its not! they need to respect that and give you alternative options..
Christina (34) DH (38)- 1 D/S Oct-2003, M/C April 2010, M/C June 2010 (twins) BFP on 8/15/2010 ~ First U/S revealed Triplets! Only one bean Sticking.. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/bd667
 
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codysu responded:
I'm so sorry she wasn't able to give you anything else besides IVF, which you sound pretty set that you aren't up to do. I'm really hoping that things work out for you by the end of the year.
Cody (37) DH (45), TTC since 2007, 1st IVF 11/10, BFP, M/C 12/10 1st IUI 2/11-BFN, 2nd IUI 3/11-BFN, 3rd IUI 4/11
 
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Dani428 replied to Starla_94's response:
Christina, so nice to hear from you!! Hope all is well with you. Did you have your little boy yet? I check in over at PAL, hope I didn't miss your birth story.

Femara is like clomid, only it doesn't have the side effects that clomid can have. The clomid helped w/my luteal phase defect and upped my progesterone levels, but it thinned the lining of my uterus, so I can't take it anymore. Femara is the next step.

Cody, I appreciate that my doctor was just being realistic, and not trying to give false hope. I understand what she was saying about IVF w/PGD helping us get pregnant faster. There just wasn't anything more she could do to help w/the recurrent pregnancy loss, so if we weren't interested in IVF, then my OB could handle the femara protocol.
Me40/DH45 3 missed m/c's, 12wks,10wks,9wks (I will always miss my 3 little boys). Our furbabies, Russell (Havanese puppy) Turtles (cat) and Perrin (cat).
 
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ksay6306 responded:
Dani, I am soooo sorry that they didn't give you any other options. I can not believe she was so harsh. There are many reasons why people choose to not do IVF whether it be religious beliefs or the financial difficulties. I pray that you are able to do this on your own! Hugs!!!
Kristin (27) DH (30) TTC since 3/08 One furbaby: Bailey a 3 year old lab MC 1 10/31 at 10 weeks, MC 2 7/23 at 5 weeks.
 
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Starla_94 replied to Dani428's response:
Dani.. you havn't missed it.. I just had some spotting this morning so he will be here Any day.. if not today!!! but no contractions so we'll see :)
Christina (34) DH (38)- 1 D/S Oct-2003, M/C April 2010, M/C June 2010 (twins) BFP on 8/15/2010 ~ First U/S revealed Triplets! Only one bean Sticking.. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/bd667
 
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BethAnn88 responded:
Dani, I'm so sorry you didn't get better news at your appt. Four hours and the only option of treatment they gave you was IVF?!! They weren't even willing to try IUI first? Sounds like they were way too fixed on your age, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Do you think you'll give the femara a try? I know that can be costly, too, though.

I'm wishing so much that you'll get your little miracle before year's end. Big, big hugs to you.
Beth Ann(29), DH(31), TTC since Jan 2009. Lost my angel baby May 2009 at 10 weeks. Started seeing RE in Dec 2010 and Dx'd w/ mild endo. 1st IUI Apr 2011.
 
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hgreenwood7058 replied to Dani428's response:
I am sad that these were the only two options for you however, I am happy that she was honest to you as well. It makes you understand and cope better when it comes to what the next step is. I am sorry that one of the steps is not a feasable option due to beliefs but maybe you will get a sticky bean that participates with you soon.
Heather(23),DH Lee(24). PCOS w Hemmoragic cysts. BFP:1/23/11 M/C 2/10/11. Hoping I will get blessed again someday.
 
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Dani428 replied to BethAnn88's response:
Beth, one thing we were interested in trying was IUI, but, she gave us the statistics of IUI in a woman my age, and they really weren't any better than us trying on our own w/just timed intercourse. She said if the ovarian reserve testing comes back good, she'd be willing to try IUI, if that was what we wanted. Of course, it wasn't her #1 recommendation, she never even mentioned IUI until my DH asked about it.
Me40/DH45 3 missed m/c's, 12wks,10wks,9wks (I will always miss my 3 little boys). Our furbabies, Russell (Havanese puppy) Turtles (cat) and Perrin (cat).
 
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Prayforamiracle responded:
Oh Dani, not what you wanted to hear. I'm sorry she wasn't more encouraging. I know you had high hopes for her. I think since IVF is not an option, that you should definitely try Femara. My RE has already mentioned Femara to me as well. I think it is worth some cycles to give it a try. Also if you are willing, why wouldn't she consider Femara, trigger, IUI and progesterone together? She has done her job of telling you that IUIs might not be the best idea; but if you are still interested considering IVF is not an option, looks like she would give it a try. I really want this so badly for you and I hope you can try some alternatives to IVF. Also, what about daily injectables? I know very expensive, but a thought. I'm going to keep you in my prayers and hope for a miracle for you. Many hugs.
Prayforamiracle-Me(36)Dh(43)TTC since 11/06. Only pregnancy ended in miscarriage in 7/07. Dealing with MFI. Anovulatory and irregular cycles due to PCOS. Currently on Cycle 24.
 
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Dani428 replied to Prayforamiracle's response:
Pray, thanks for the prayers and the hugs. We've decided that if the ovarian reserve testing comes back within acceptable levels, we'd like to try one IUI and see what happens.

Right now, due to my cardiac history, I have to get cardiac clearance to proceed with anymore fertility treatments. Fortunately, I work for my cardiologist, so I've got my echo scheduled for Thurs morning, we adjusted my bp meds, and I'll follow up with him next Monday. My RE also asked me to get a PAP and MAMMO, so I see my OB on Friday, (I was due for the pap and already had the appt, so that was convenient). Then I wait for day 3 of my cycle and get the labwork drawn for the ovarian reserve testing, plus there are a couple of immune system blood tests she'd like me to have done that my OB didn't do in the original labwork.

So, that's where things stand with us. I'll be spending my days of work at doctors appts, OH YIPPEE :(

My DH and I am just taking one thing at a time, step by step, it makes it all less stressful. One thing I loved that RE said was that I needed to relax as much as possible, she told my DH that manicures, pedicures, massages, acupuncture, etc. are all recommended, I definitely will follow that advice!!!! :)
Me40/DH45 3 missed m/c's, 12wks,10wks,9wks (I will always miss my 3 little boys). Our furbabies, Russell (Havanese puppy) Turtles (cat) and Perrin (cat).
 
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chickeedoodle responded:
Oh Dani - I'm sorry she didn't have any better options that IVF. I've heard the "old eggs" card played myself, and know that plainly sucks.

Did she talk about doing IUI with injectable meds? We didn't do IUI's that way because I responded well enough to Femara, and our RE suggested that if we're willing to do injectables we should just do IVF. I kind of wish we had tried injectables with IUI after the first m/c, but then again, I had GOTTEN pg, and it seemed like a fluke I m/c.

The one thing I will say about PGD, and I know you aren't doing IVF, but in case anyone else reads this and wonders about it...our RE specifially said for our age NOT to do it. That they cannot put the embryos back in until day 5, and at the advanced age, that they have to put back in one day 3 usually, With PGD they test on day three and don't get results back until day 5, so by day 5 you could find out that embryo A, C, F were all normal, but they didn't make it to day 5. :( And our RE said they always do better inside a uterus than out, so they don't take that chance.

I hope you get a miracle this year - is anyone willing to do progesterone support without fertility meds?

I'll keep my fingers crossed for your Reserve - were they doing AMH also?

(((HUGS))) to you - this is SO unfair. :(
DS born 5/2006, many failed IUI's then 1st loss 7/2009, more failed IUI's, a successful IVF which turned into my 2nd loss 9/2010. Failed adoption 2/2011 = 3rd loss. :(
 
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Prayforamiracle replied to Dani428's response:
I hope all goes well with your echo. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I think looking at one thing at a time, is the best thing. I did that with all the stuff I did and thought I would be doing earlier this cycle and it helped me tremendously.
Prayforamiracle-Me(36)Dh(43)TTC since 11/06. Only pregnancy ended in miscarriage in 7/07. Dealing with MFI. Anovulatory and irregular cycles due to PCOS. Currently on Cycle 24.
 
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Dani428 replied to chickeedoodle's response:
Carla, she didn't mention IUI, but my DH asked about it. She quoted the statistics, (of course they weren't great), but said if we wanted to try it, we could. So, if ovarian reserve testing comes back okay, we're going to try one IUI cycle. She is drawing an AMH lab along w/the others.

She did quiet down a bit about the old eggs once we told her that the tissue from all 3 losses had been tested and had come back chromosomally normal. That's when she combed through my records and read the pathology reports.

We are holding out hope that we can get pregnant one more time and maybe, this will be the time!!!!!
Me40/DH45 3 missed m/c's, 12wks,10wks,9wks (I will always miss my 3 little boys). Our furbabies, Russell (Havanese puppy) Turtles (cat) and Perrin (cat).
 
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Dani428 replied to Prayforamiracle's response:
Thank you Pray!!!!

What's the saying? Slow and steady wins the race? Maybe I just can beat that biological clock!!! LOL!! :)
Me40/DH45 3 missed m/c's, 12wks,10wks,9wks (I will always miss my 3 little boys). Our furbabies, Russell (Havanese puppy) Turtles (cat) and Perrin (cat).


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