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Venting
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Prayforamiracle posted:
I haven't been on as much this week, I just have been feeling blah. I hope to be better about posting. I know some of us are just feeling extra down lately. I haven't seen Dani around lately, hope she is okay. She missed our Monday updates. For about a week, my temps have been looking really nice and stable. So, I had my hopes up that I was soon to be ovulating. Why would I have thought that? When do things every work in my favor? I started spotting a couple of days ago, and I think my body is trying start af. So, don't know if I should start a new cycle or what.

Trigs......

Also, not too excited about Easter. It will be hard seeing all the kiddos running around and hunting eggs. I should have one out there! What a fun time we would have. I can't really skip it, because it is a family function. I will just have to smile and pretend I'm extremely happy, when I will be crying on the inside. Another thing that has made my heart heavy this week is a pregnancy announcement. The couple is pregnant after trying one month. You all, first try! How is that possible and to beat it all, it is twins.

I'm so sorry for this post and I apologize for feeling so sorry for myself. I just needed to get this off my chest and you all are the only ones I can talk to.
Prayforamiracle-Me(36)Dh(43)TTC since 11/06. Only pregnancy ended in miscarriage in 7/07. Dealing with MFI. Anovulatory and irregular cycles due to PCOS. Currently on Cycle 24.
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Starla_94 responded:
Oh Pray!!! HUGS GIRL!!!! Yea doesn't it just make you sick with those people that just blink and get PG!! i have a friend like that.. a guy looks at her and shes pg.. ..

i feel for you.. does your family understand your struggles with this weekend is there anyone there even you can lean on and stay distracted? Don't give up hope i know easier said then done.. and coming from me someone who has finally given up hope on my husband.. Don't be sorry for the post.. thats what we are all here for!
Christina (34) DH (38)- 1 D/S Oct-2003, M/C April 2010, M/C June 2010 (twins) BFP on 8/15/2010 ~ First U/S revealed Triplets! Only one bean Sticking.. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/bd667
 
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BethAnn88 responded:
Pray, how I'd really like to give you a big, comforting hug right now. Not a virtual hug but a REAL hug! I wish there was something I could do to cheer you up. I've noticed that you haven't been around here as much lately and that's not like you. (And I miss Dani too. I hope she's doing okay). I'm sorry it's because you're feeling down. Just wish so much you could get a break and for once have things go the way you want them to!! I wish we could get some good news on this board at all! It's desperately needed!

Also, sorry to hear you got that pregnancy news. The first month for twins? Really?!! Just doesn't seem fair. Loss and infertility isn't something I'd ever wish on anyone. But everyone should be required to have to work at it at least a little bit!

I hope you'll still be able to enjoy Easter and the time with your family. But I do understand how you feel. Last year I was fighting back tears watching my niece and nephews out there hunting eggs, wondering of what might have been. Not looking forward to that again. Thankfully it's supposed to rain here. Darn, might have to cancel the egg hunt this year.

Just know you're not alone and we're pulling for you. Sending you lots of love.
Beth Ann(29), DH(31), TTC since Jan 2009. Lost my angel baby May 2009 at 10 weeks. Started seeing RE in Dec 2010 and Dx'd w/ mild endo. 1st IUI Apr 2011.
 
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hgreenwood7058 responded:
Pray we totally understand how you feel and it is okay for you to feel this way. It bothers me to see kids sometimes too because of the same feelings. It burns a little bit when you do see some people who get preg without problems or get preg not even on purpose but those who want it soo bad are the ones who dont get it. My cycle is being a pain and a say cycle because it still hasn't ended. I am hoping that you did ovulate. When was AF due?
Heather(23),DH Lee(24). PCOS w Hemmoragic cysts. BFP:1/23/11 M/C 2/10/11. Hoping I will get blessed again someday.
 
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ipsitaC responded:
I know how you feel. Seeing other pregnant women and kids bugs me too. I feel like why them, why not me. It is absolutely okay to feel the way you do. Don't feel sorry for yourself. We are all here and we will get through all these pains. I don't know how to comfort you. Lots of love and hugs for you.
Ipsita (25) DH (30) Lost my pregnancy after 5 months. TTC again. Hope to get a good news soon finally.
 
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Prayforamiracle responded:
Thank you all for your kind words. I'm trying to stay positive and prepare myself for tomorrow, but it is so hard.

As far as my cycle goes, I have for sure not ovulated. TMI-I'm still spotting, but it hasn't really turn into a flow. It has turned to red twice, but as soon as it does it turns back to brown. I have no idea why. Hope it isn't something serious.
Prayforamiracle-Me(36)Dh(43)TTC since 11/06. Only pregnancy ended in miscarriage in 7/07. Dealing with MFI. Anovulatory and irregular cycles due to PCOS. Currently on Cycle 24.
 
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pensgrrl responded:
I totally understand and dont ever feel bad about feeling sorry for yourself. we are going through one of the most painful things anyone will ever go through. and as far as getting it off your chest, we all need to do that. i just had my 2nd mc in a row on monday and my bf is preg and i hate her. i mean i literally hate her bc she already has 2 kids and this is her 3rd. i hate myself for hating her and i cannot control it. and every pregnant woman i see i hate them too. its awful feeling that way and i have no control over it. i feel like this is a test and im failing miserably ha. so you vent all you need and i will listen :) hugs
 
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Prayforamiracle replied to pensgrrl's response:
Thanks! It is so nice to have people that are so understanding of all this.
Prayforamiracle-Me(36)Dh(43)TTC since 11/06. Only pregnancy ended in miscarriage in 7/07. Dealing with MFI. Anovulatory and irregular cycles due to PCOS. Currently on Cycle 25.


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