So, its bad news for me here. Thursday morning I woke up to some light brown spotting. I immediately freaked out and called the doctor. They said I could come in first thing to listen to the heart beat. They said it was unlikely that I was m/c because I had made it so far (I was 11 weeks 3 days). By the time I got to the doctor's office the spotting had just about stopped so I was feeling better. Then I went back with the midwife to listen for the hb. She could not find one but said that is common at this far along so I went in for an ultrasound. There was no heart beat and the baby was only 9 weeks. My (and DH's) heart sank. I started crying uncontrollably. Even DH was crying this time--which he does not often do. Eventually we were able to meet with a doctor. I had never met her before but she seems to be the silver lining in this whole heartbreaking story. Since I have now had 3 in a row I am categorized as having "recurrent miscarriage" and they will start some testing. The other doctor I had been seeing had more of a "these things happen...keep trying" kind of attitude. The bad news is that this testing has to be done during a non pregnant state. So, I have to wait until I get AF after this m/c then we will test during that cycle (so we can not be trying then). and after that we can hopefully start trying (depending on the results of the tests I guess). By my calculations if AF takes 6-8 weeks from now and then another month after that, we will not be trying again until july. This breaks my heart but I guess maybe we'll get some answers and hopefully find a solution.
The rest of the story of my weekend from hell...At the doctor's on Thursday, I was scheduled for a D&C on Saturday. Woke up on Friday morning to some very heavy bleeding (you know how they say go to the ER if you are soaking through a pad an hour. I was soaking through them in about 20 minutes and passing a lot of tissue. So, DH took me to the hospital where I almost passed out as soon as we go there. They decided to to the D&C right away and the anesthesiologist did something to my thoat when she put the breathing tube in and it is still sore this morning. So I have been on the couch crying and sleeping pretty much since Thursday. I am compeltely heart broken. I thought we were just 5 days away from the magical 12 weeks and then to have it all ripped away from us. Oh, and the D&C ended up having to be done in the labor and delivery OR so my DH is out in the waiting room there and gets asked by two seprate people if his "little one was on the way?". How awful. This whole experience sucks. I feel like it is so not fair and I don't know what to do. We have decided to start looking into adoption while still trying to conceive on our own...just in case since it is a long process. This one seems to hurt so much more. I just dont understand how we saw a hb at 7 weeks and again at 9 weeks and then it all just stopped. I am feeling so guilty now for not taking the progesterone but the doctor said not to--b/c low pro miscarriages usually end very early and pass from the mother on their own. Its a little comforting but I still cant help but feel that it was something I did or ate or expesed myself to??? I am just feeling so sad and depressed.
Thanks for listening
Me (28), DH (34), TTC since 7/10, BFP 6/5/11, m/c 6/25/11, BFP 8/27/11, m/c 9/8/11, BFP 2/7/12--fingers crossed!!!
Oh Michelle ((gentle hugs)) I am so sorry to find you here today with such sad news..I wish there were better words to help ease some of your pain but I offer you mine with the best comforting vibes possible.. I wish we did not have to repeat such heartbreaking times but it seems for some of us is it to be a part of our story (mine as well) I hope that you take time to heal as I know all too well what you are feeling right now and know that we are all here if you need us.
Oh Michelle my heart goes to you and your husband.I am so sorry for what you are going through.I know there is no words that are going to make you feel better but I do want to tell you: Please do not blame yourself about the progesterone thing b/c what your Dr. told is correct,if that was the case it would happened earlier in the pregnancy.Believe me,it's not going to be any easier if you blame yourself. I did that and slowly,slowly it turned into a deep depression,it got so bad that I couldn't get out of the house for a couple of months.I can't believe what my husband had to go through b/c I did just that,I blamed myself. Take care of yourself.(((HUGS))).
Ani(30),DH(30),DD(5).BFP on 03/02/2011,M/C on 03/11/2011.TTC since 05/2009.
I'm so, so sorry. I just can't believe this has happened again. My heart just breaks for you, you have been through so much. I'm so sorry that you have to lose another, in order to get further testing. Whoever came up with that rule, is completely dillusional. I wish there was something we could do or say, to help you during this very difficult time. Just know that you are in our hearts and are here for you whenever you need us. Take care of yourself and sending lots of hugs.
Prayforamiracle-Me(36)Dh(43)TTC since 11/06. Only pregnancy ended in miscarriage in 7/07. Dealing with MFI. Anovulatory and irregular cycles due to PCOS. 1st IUI 1/12=BFN, 2nd IUI 2/12=BFN
Thanks ladies....it is comforting to be able to share my thoughts here. This one seems to be keeping me down more than the others. I'm worried that I may never be able to carry a child. I appreciate all your positive thoughts...hopefully I can start feeling happy again.
Me (28), DH (34), TTC since 7/10, BFP 6/5/11, m/c 6/25/11, BFP 8/27/11, m/c 9/8/11, BFP 2/7/12, m/c 3/30/12
I am truely sorry you had to go through this again. These awful experiences don't seem to have a purpose at all but to plague us. They don't make you stronger or wiser or anything, they just make you sad and want to question all. I hope you get some answers soon, we are here for you if you need anything.
Me(28) Hubby(27) M/C due to Blighted ovum October 11. TTC 1st baby.
Lurking...Michelle I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am about your loss. I really hope that something comes out of the testing to explain these losses. I agree with Pray though, it doesn't seem fair to wait for 3 losses before getting testing done. Lots of hugs to you.
Cody (38) DH(45), TTC since 2007, 1st IVF Nov-10 BFP M/C Dec-10. IVF 2 in Nov-11 BFP! EDD 7-26-12
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